Love Thy Enemies
by NearlyMellow
Summary: Light and L (Ryuzaki/Lawliet) have come to blows and now they have to mend their friendship but Light not only confesses he is in fact Kira but is suffering with confusing feelings towards his arch nemesis. But when Watari is killed and L is kidnapped Light with the help of three young successors to L must try and find him before it's too late. AU SETTING
1. Chapter 1

It's hard to believe that that Ryuzaki had beaten me. That's not to say that I didn't get to throw a few punches and swing a few kicks here and there but as much as I hate to admit, he beat me fair and square. I hated him for so long, he was the one obstacle in my way from achieving the perfect world with me ruling as God and yet something unwelcoming washed over me from the moment I met him.

He is peculiar, not like anyone I have ever met, he is mentally stimulating and in his own way, attractive. It must be his deep wide dark stormy grey eyes that distracted me of my thoughts of world domination because as soon as they met mine I suddenly forgot why I was at that damned place to begin with. It's not like me to be distracted from any task, I am and always have been better than that. I was always the top of my classes, even after the Death Note came into my hands I was always number one and even that annoying child Misa Amane wasn't able to distract me, honestly if it wasn't for the usefulness of her Shinigami eyes I would have gladly disposed of her long ago, but the moment I locked eyes with the infamous L I became somewhat off my A game.

The fact that one glance is all that it took from Ryuzaki. also known as L to those who don't know his other alias, to make me somewhat crumble really doesn't leave me surprised that I was lying there covered in both mine and his blood and sweat. It was a predetermined twist in fate, I suppose it does explain why I had no interest on going on dates with women unless it somehow aided me in my mission to execute someone with the Death Note, any normal man of twenty would drop anything to get in bed with famous pop star Misa-Misa but even after I first met her and felt nothing towards her except the realization she would be a help to my cause in creating the perfect world but the moment I met Ryuzaki I felt something, something that he must have be apparent to.

I doubt that before our fight that Ryuzaki had even fought any one before, it's any wonder that with the amount of sugar he consumes that he hadn't been plagued with Diabetes and rendered unable to physically defend himself but he sure put up a good fight and even after an hour I was still incredibly sore, I would love nothing more than to kill him with my own bare hands but with the amount of security cameras he had scattered all around this room, the fact we are cuffed together with a short length of chain and the feeling of not actually really wanting to do it, I doubt it would be something I would get away with.

I could hear him panting sluggishly and profoundly and I swear those hypnotic pools of storm grey were closed, something I have never seen except for the odd blink. I could almost feel his pulse vibrating down the chain, and I could taste his blood in my mouth, could I have really hit him that hard? I could feel my own heart pounding hard in my chest, the sweat rolling down off my face and onto the hard tiled floor beneath us, my hands were still slightly shaky I had doubted that we were going to be able to rise up off the floor without a third parties help and since we had been left alone while the task force went home to rest it would be a while before someone would notice our broken bloody bodies on the floor.

"Light?"

Ryuzaki's voice was faint and only pushed out by the exasperated slow pants.

"Yes?" I replied even though I had to use quite some effort to do so

"Are you Kira?" he asked

I was going to take some time to answer, I couldn't count the many times he had asked that question and the many times I replied with No, sure I was lying and I had no doubt that he knew it too. Of course I was Kira who else would be that great, who else could have pulled off what I had without being caught? It would take someone above a genius to do what I had done and since the only other person I knew who would have been clever enough to be Kira was in fact my dark haired, dark eyed rival that was lying just a couple of feet away from me then I was the obvious answer

"You tell me Ryuzaki, how confident are you that I am in fact Kira?" I asked evading giving him an answer

I could see the corners of his mouth turn up, another rarity but I had clearly amused him.

"I am 75% sure that you are Kira, but answer me something else Light, If you are in fact innocent of being Kira than why would have you gone to great lengths just an hour ago to try and kill me with the brute force of your attacks?"

He was too intelligent for his own good, I couldn't deny that I had hoped that I would at least been able to hit him once hard enough that it would cause fatal damage, but since that had become impossible in between Ryuzaki's painful blows I was going to have to convince him that I was merely aggravated by his daily accusations and not in fact trying to kill him.

"If I were Kira, Ryuzaki I would not need a fist or a foot to kill you, only a pen and the Death Note, that I can guarantee you"

It was strange, our relationship. We were, in honesty, perfect for each other. We had provided one another with something we have been unable to achieve before with anyone else, intellectual gratification. We were each other's equal, mentally anyway. Anything I could solve he could solve and vice versa even though he was a detective and I was only the son of the Chief of police we were on the same level as one another. As much as I hated him and wanted him dead, which with all my heart was completely true I also found myself not wanting that for him.

It was nearly a year ago that he had told me that I had been his only true friend even though he was sure I was Kira and was confident I would be the one to kill him we were still the closest thing to friendship either of us had. I had become attracted to him from the first glance, I couldn't understand how it was possible to hate and love someone with great passion at the same time. We were both cautious of one another and yet we also dropped our guards to be open to each other Ryuzaki and I…Well I must admit almost seemed like a dream.

"I am going to get up and I am going to pull you off the floor. We are going to the bathroom and we are going to clean ourselves up. I hardly think lying here feeling sorry for ourselves is going to help us catch Kira, if you are in fact innocent of being Kira than we need to start doing our jobs and catch him" Ryuzaki replied as if ignoring my statement

I couldn't see how it was going to be possible for him to be able to get up off the floor, but then again if you had seen the way he jumped from the floor to a chair and sit in the trademark crouching position for hours on end it would be a surprise if he were not able to gather the strength to not only get himself up but also peel me off the tiles.

I could feel the sharp tug on the chain a he shifted himself on the floor, he reminded me of a cat the way he pulled and jerked his body around, and twisting it into figures that I was sure was not even present in the Karma Sutra. He slowly began to rise, it was only when he was standing above me that I had seen the full extent on to how bad I had hit him.

The usual dark sleep deprivation shadows under his eyes were now a vibrant blue, blood was smeared over his nose and the left side of his cheek and his bottom lip had been split badly enough that blood had trickled out of it and dried all over his chin and neck. There were three large tears in his long sleeved white shirt and a small cut on his big toe, serve him right for never wearing shoes.

He reached out his hand to me that had a small amount of bruising on the knuckles. I struggled to raise my arm but forced it up so my clammy hand met his. I was sure he had bruised one or two of my ribs because when he hauled me up I felt as if I had been crushed in a vice.

"I think you broke my ribs" I said exaggerating the severity of the pain through clenched teeth. My face was throbbing and my entire body was aching

"That was not my intention but you only have yourself to blame Light, you should not have under estimated me"

He helped me to stand on my feet but I still slouched even with my arm wrapped around his lean shoulders. I cringed through the pain I was feeling in my sides and back. I thought Ryuzaki was badly beaten until I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection on the large mirror has we made our way into the bathroom.

I was completely shocked; I doubted any one would be able to recognize me. The area around my eyes and nose was puffed and bright crimson red, I had dried blood on a majority of my face and I was sure that my torso was in even worse condition.

"Can you lift up your shirt?" Ryuzaki asked almost sympathetically

"I don't think so, I am surprised I am even alive L, you completely fucked me up" I replied

I was pissed off, I wanted to throttle him for what he had done to me, on one part he was right I should not have underestimated him but on the other part he should not have pushed me to act out in violence. Although I had spent the last year killing people with a pen and a note book I was not the kind that would resort to physical violence and neither was Ryuzaki but he had proved his point.

Ryuzaki grasped hold of the bottom of my black long sleeved shirt and began to haul it up while holding me up with his other arm. The soft warmth of his touch grazing against my stomach sent a tremor up my spine which made my skin bunch up into small goose bumps. He was so gentle, it was surprising, Ryuzaki very rarely showed any reaction, he was always so blank looking, although everyone knew the gears in his head were constantly turning he always remained so emotionless I hardly expected him to have a soft gentle touch, almost feminine. He raised it up half way and paused, I could see he was trying to figure out how to get the rest of it up and over my head, I knew it would end up resting on the chain that joined us together.

"Light? Would you mind if I were to rip your shirt?" He asked

I shook my head slowly and softly, I had barely enough strength to talk let alone shake my head but he waited for my answer. He gently pushed me off of him, and held me in an upright position; his upper body strength was outstanding. He slightly turned me and allowed me to fall into him our chests pressing against each other. I could smell the blood and sweat on him, it was hard to distinguish which was mine and which was his but Ryuzaki smelled manly, strong and his heart beat was thumping against me hard, fast in a dancing rhythm.

He grasped either side of my shirt with tough grip and he ripped the black long sleeved shirt in two. He pulled the sides away and slid the shirt down over my arms and rested it on the chain. He examined me with his eyes. I could feel his cold hard stare on my flesh tracing my entire battered body with those deep seductive pools.

"It seems that you have received at lot more damage then I originally anticipated"

I waited for him to make a Kira remark something like "It is a good thing you only need your arm to be Kira" or something similar but there was silence as he traced over my wounds. He moved me again so the he could reach the toilet seat and pulled it down and eased me towards it, helping me to sit down. I felt a sudden sting in my sides that didn't feel like it was going to subside any time soon.

"Ryuzaki? Is there something you want to talk to me about, you have been acting odd, rather odder than usual. Normally when you ask if I am Kira your interrogations last longer than just the question are you Kira?" I said quietly with my head lowered trying to hold back the tears of pain from falling from my amber eyes

"It appears that I am feeling rather depressed, typically by now I would have had the case solved and at this point I am merely going on hunches and common knowledge and it is getting me no closer to solving this dilemma" He replied

He pulled a white fluffy hand towel that was folded in quarters from off of the medicine cabinet, turned on the hot water tap and placed the hand towel under the faucet assuring it was plenty damp before turning off the tap. I raised my head and looked up, I could see the steam rising up from the towel, I knew it was going to hurt.

He slowly approached me with it and I gritted my teeth hard, it hurt like hell because he had previously hit my jaw with such force I was sure I would have a cracked wisdom tooth. He placed the hot wet towel on my chest, just above my right pectoral muscle, it must have been badly bruised because it felt as if I had been hit with a ton of bricks, and Ryuzaki certainly didn't restrain himself when we commenced our battle. I can barely remember what it was even over, we must have been arguing about something in order for me to get angry enough to actually duel with him; I would have never imagined laying a hand on Ryuzaki, especially since we had a tight bond.

"Ryuzaki, we will catch Kira, I promise you. He stands no chance against us and I think you know that. Things may seem impossible now but you'll see it will all work out. I won't leave you alone you know, I will be right here" I replied

He smiled. I couldn't help but smile back at him. It was strange even though his face usually remained impassive unless he had found a large piece of cake to enjoy or hadn't put enough sugar in his coffee, his eyes at this time were full of expression, and they were telling me happiness.

He moved the damp towel from the bruise onto the next; I felt the hot sting and then calm as the warmth began to ease the ache. The sound of rolling thunder in the distance made us both look up to the ceiling, this was perfect. Other than sweets the one thing Ryuzaki loved was the rain and I knew that this was going to lift his spirits and he would be the normal Ryuzaki who I had come to know and even admire. Within moments rain began to fall heavily on and around the building, the large raindrops descended heavily and quickly on the roof and echoed through the room. He smiled again and took a silent deep breath. I watched his chest rise and fall.

"Thank you Light, I feel reassured and pleasant now" He finally replied

I looked up to his face, I almost felt obligated to wipe away the dried blood that he had smeared on his delicate insipid skin, how could someone who basically lived off of sweets and hot drinks be in such great health? How could he have a body like an athlete and a silky smooth skin complexion? I started to wonder even through his annoying habits, biting his thumb nail, sucking on the very tip of it when he was thinking, even the way he sat annoyed the hell out of me I couldn't help but speculate if I thought he was perfect, or perhaps just perfect for me.

I couldn't imagine it really, what would my father say if he I was in a relationship with a man and Ryuzaki at that? what would people think if they knew my arch nemesis and somehow best friend was the obstacle in achieving the perfect world and in fact my lover? What would happen if I ended up killing him and living the rest of my life in my perfect world without him? Would I even be able to live with myself after that? There were too many questions that concerned me, there was no way that we could be anything other than friends and enemies, and there was no way…

I would have kept that thought up if he hadn't dropped to his knees in front of me, resting himself between my open legs and looking up into my eyes as he rested the towel against my jaw. It was driving me crazy, how could I, how could Kira be so vulnerable? How could I have a weakness like this? How could Ryuzaki, be the one thing that disabled me? Made me feel destitute, made me question everything, made me think things that I have never thought about anyone, not even a woman before. Was I gay? Or was Ryuzaki the exception? Could I really see myself kissing him? Hugging him, holding him instead of a woman? What the fuck was wrong with me? I couldn't let him know what I was thinking even though I was sure that he could see it in my eyes the impure thoughts I had towards him.

"If you were Kira, I don't think I would be able to be responsible for your death, Light. I would have to leave that to someone else because I would not be able to handle such a thing, that is of course if Kira permits me to live that long. I am 90% sure that Kira will see me dead long before any plans for your death but in case I am incorrect I hope you will not rely on me to conduct your execution, it is something I cannot allow myself to do, I hope you understand"

What? Was Ryuzaki really serious about what he was saying? Even though he knew damn well I was Kira he was not going to kill me? That can't be, I knew Ryuzaki, and I knew him better than anyone else. I have spent the most time with him and listened to him, talked to him, watched him. He was no different than I was he was intelligent, strong and determined. Why would all of a sudden he be so bold as to say he would not be in charge of my execution if I were to announce I was Kira? I knew Ryuzaki and I knew Kira's demise was important to him so why suddenly the change of heart? Did he feel the same for me for what I felt for him? surely Ryuzaki didn't feel like that, he never even mentioned a woman or even took the time to talk about sex or love and I was sure that he had never been in a relationship of any kind so why would he feel any sort of loving feeling towards me?

"I find it strange that you would say that" I replied to him

"Why? Do you think that I lack a heart? If someone else, even someone on the task force had turned out to be Kira I would have no issues in arranging the execution, even if it is Misa I would still not hesitate but I find myself in a conundrum Light, you are the first friend I have had, even though I am positive you are Kira and I am confident you intend on killing me with the Death Note I still hold a warm feeling for you with in me. There is something that is almost unsettling to me that you would play such a major role on decisions I make here on out, I am used to only looking out for myself and now I seem to be being forced to take your wellbeing into consideration"

Most people assumed Ryuzaki was crazy, the way he looked, the way he dressed, the way he sat, the fact he barely wore anything on his feet. He was far from but I had to question his mental stability, he seemed so hell bent on helping the Japanese police catch and convict Kira nothing had ever shook him and yet here he was face to face to me and confessing he was feeling uneasy about me being in his life.

Knowing that once he discovered that I was Kira and that he would not take part in my death made me feel a change of heart; enemy or not, I couldn't kill Ryuzaki.

I knew it was time, he had tried since the day we met to get the truth from me and it was time he got it. I wanted a flawless world and I had done an amazing job, crime rate was down 70% and things were starting to look a whole lot brighter. I knew that once I told Ryuzaki the truth one of two things would happen, he will simply ignore what I tell him and will continue the investigation looking into anyone else who may have played a part in the Death Note or the deaths, or he will have me arrested in which case my work will still continue as I have Misa willing to do the dirty work for me. I swallowed hard and counted to three silently in my head

"I do not know if what you're saying is honesty or if you are only saying this to try and fool me but I believe that you will not be a part of my execution, Ryuzaki, I am Kira, you have be right all along"

I almost couldn't believe I said it, I would have never told him when we first met, never, I would have taken the Kira secret to the grave but I had just told the one person that I trusted the biggest secret I had, a secret that would most likely be the death of me.

Ryuzaki dropped the warm towel to the tiled floor beneath us, he lowered his head and stood up, he reached into his back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a key, unlocking the cuffs around our wrists, he dropped the key and the handcuffs to the floor, a chink and a clang echoing through the room as the metal met the tiles. He didn't say a thing instead he silently walked out of the bathroom and out into the conference room. I had to wait to follow him, to prepare myself for yet another bout of pain when I got up. I listened and I could hear the rain become loud and quieter again, Ryuzaki had gone outside, I had to follow him. I took a deep breath and gritted my teeth whilst I pulled myself up off of the toilet and traced Ryuzaki's footsteps

I walked out onto the terrace that came off of the conference room. There he was standing in the rain, I could see him shuddering and instantaneously the cold hit my bare torso. It was icy and made my skin crawl.

"L!" I called out to him

I had no idea what he was going to do, I had no clue if he was going to yell and scold me or give me the silent treatment until the point of my detention. I decided the only way to find out what he had planned was to ask him, cold or not I had no choice.

"Ryuzaki, L, I am sorry I lied to you, but you have to understand I was only trying to make this world a better place. I won't lie I liked the power and I liked the feeling of being God. I understand if you have arranged for my arrest but before anything happens to me you have to know I am not going to kill you and it is not a hoax, I am not trying to fool you"

The rain was hitting my skin hard and I was trying to ignore the agony. I couldn't tell what he was thinking or what he was feeling but the sight of Ryuzaki dripping wet and shivering pulled at my heart.

"L, could you say something, anything please" I found myself begging him, something I would have never done, I doubt even if I had a gun pointed to my head and a finger pressing on the trigger that I would beg even then

"Answer me something Light, Do you find yourself in love with me? Is that why you finally confessed, or is it because you don't believe you will be punished for your unspeakable actions?" He asked me

"I expect to be punished Ryuzaki, I have no doubts about that, I told you the truth because of what you said, You had said that you could not bring yourself to be responsible for my execution as I cannot bring myself to allow you to find out I was Kira all along from anyone else but me. You are asking me if I find myself in love with you and as much as I have tried to convince myself otherwise the answer is clear. I am in love with you, I have been since the day we met" I replied

He raised his head and looked at me, I placed my hands against his cheeks and drew him close to me, the pain had suddenly disappeared, I pressed my forehead against his and the rainfall trickled between us.

"I need you to do something for me Light, and my request is not negotiable" He said to me

"Anything"

"I want you to stop being Kira, I want you to burn the Death Note and anything else that will link you to being Kira, the others already believe that you are innocent and do not think anything more of it, it is only I that had my suspicions. You need to dispose of everything and anything you can think of that might or could incriminate you, do you understand me?" He asked

I nodded, I had no choice. Ryuzaki was throwing me a lifeline and I had to take it. Regardless of what I wanted this world to be I wanted L more and if he was going to keep me safe and even love me than I had to be smart about it, I had do as he requested.

"I promise you I will destroy everything pertaining to Kira" I replied

"For once Light, I believe that you are telling me the truth, I hate to admit it but perhaps there has been an occasion where I have been wrong, I don't like being wrong Light, but I am more than glad that I was"


	2. Chapter 2

We sat in the conference room, still alone. Ryuzaki sat by my feet, drying them with a warm recently washed towel. The softness and warmth of the towel was welcoming against my cold skin. I placed my hand beside me and grabbed hold of one of the other several towels that Ryuzaki had collected once we were in the coziness of the building. I leaned forward and placed the towel on his damp hair, which was as black as a raven and normally spiked whimsically but now flaccid, dripping wet and getting in his dark eyes. He stopped rubbing my feet when he realized that I had moved from the position that he commanded that I stayed in while he helped me to get dried.

I never would have imagined Ryuzaki being this tender; he was like a whole new person. Perhaps knowing that he was no longer alone in this world had sparked something inside of him, it was beatific and sweet. Everyone had just thought he was odd, almost alien like but to me, he was a beautiful man, even his annoying habits were just apart of him and now I was seeing another side to Ryuzaki that I was sure no one had ever seen. It must have been all the sweets that he consumed that had made what was once a bitter man now a genuine sweetheart.

"Lig—"

"Shh, just let me do this for you, stop being so stubborn, it's perfectly alright for you to lose once in a while you know Ryuzaki, both of us can't win all the time"

I interrupted him before I continued to lovingly dry his hair until I was sure it could be pushed away from his face without it falling back into his eyes.

"See as much as it damages pride losing isn't always that bad now is it?" I asked him

I pulled the towel away from his head. He rose to his feet and held out his hand. I gingerly took it and he helped me up off of the couch, I had come to a point where I had forgotten the pain, all I could think about was the situation I was currently in. I had wondered just how much L had hurt in the past from loneliness, how many nights had he sat in the dark wishing for someone, something, even just a kiss on the cheek or a simple brush of a hand in his messy hair. How many times had he wished for even just a friendship? and now he was given both friendship and someone who would be glad to be the one to take away the pain of loneliness, was he even going to be able to cope? He was always so bossy and head strong and that is why we instantly connected, we are two of the same person L and I, we shared the same personality, we are both childish and love to win every battle and although he is much more conservative then I we are still very much alike and I had to admit it was a concern, if we were seriously contemplating some kind of romantic attachment was it even going to work out? I accepted him for everything he was, oddities and all and as much as I know it pained him to know that I was Kira, I had hoped that he would, even if it took time, accept me for all that I was too.

He walked me to the bedroom that we had slept in while we were cuffed together, he never slept he would just lie there looking up at the ceiling. There had been many times where I had thought about just holding his hand or throwing my arms around him just to see if it would help, but I had a change of heart when I had believed he would respond in an uncomfortable way.

I didn't think anyone had ever seen Ryuzaki sleep it was any wonder how he managed to operate at full capacity, he was so intelligent that it was amazing that one who didn't sleep and lived off of cake could function the way he did. He was, to say the least, a phenomenon.

I closed the door behind us and locked it, if there was ever a locked door anywhere I would be the first to be accused, I enjoyed my privacy, even if there was no need for it I still wanted it at all times. The last thing I wanted was for any member of the task force to walk in whilst Ryuzaki and I were changing. I didn't embarrass easily but still no young adult wants to be seen getting undressed by his parent or his parent's colleagues.

L had his back turned to me as he slid open the wooden wardrobe door; he was still shaking from the wet clothes that had clung tightly to his body. How he managed to stay fit was beyond me, aside from sleeping I had never see him do any form of exercise except jumping from the floor to his chair, almost leaping like a frog from one Lilly pad to another.

I admired him as he removed his shirt from off his body and threw it in a brown wicker washing basket. The skin on his back was free of any blemishes or marks, like a blank canvas and was just as pallid as one too. I could almost feel the moistness on his tender skin; I could almost taste the rain on my tongue. Thinking about savoring his wet flesh made my body tingle. My face hadn't been sore any more, the cold rain had settled the sting so tasting him with my lips and tongue would be no issue.

I watched has his hands went to the front of his dark blue jeans; I listened as he pulled the zip down and undid the small silver button that had held them up. He paused, the room was completely silent and only lit up by the yellow full moon that hovered outside the large window high up on the wall. I watched as he turned his head resting it on his shoulder, his eyes staring right at me, I had been paralyzed, there was a look in his eyes that I had not seen before. It was lust, at least I could only imagine that is what it was. Was L seriously thinking what I thought he was thinking? Usually so logical and methodical, was he throwing all logic to the wind? I couldn't debate it any longer, I couldn't restrain myself any longer, even though seven years my senior he was like an unopened rose. Pure, sweet, innocent. He had probably never even been kissed before, no one would have had the nerve to do such a thing, he was a freak in everyone else's eyes but I didn't see him that way, no to me, he was nothing short of perfection no matter how inexperienced he was

I rushed to him and grasped him hard pulling him close to my body. My fingers on my right hand mixed through his damp obsidian locks and my other hand resting a gentle touch on his hip. We stood close together, breathing the same warm air, the smell of rain penetrating our noses and even though we had just spent a good few minutes in the cold rain our bodies quickly warmed and the heat engulfed us like a furious flame. He was scared, I could feel it as I held him, I had kissed before I had even had sexual intercourse at least twice I was no means a master but I was going to have to make sure that Ryuzaki didn't remain scared I was going to have to be gentle and yet confident with what I was going to do to him, maybe not tonight but eventually.

"In your eyes lies all happiness for this new world, not the new world Kira created, but the new world that we have immersed ourselves in, a world that differs from the old, because there is no longer a you and I, just a we. Me and you together." I whispered to the air that sat between us

I pursed my lips against his; giving him a firm yet loving kiss.

He pulled away from my mouth, a trail of saliva strung between our mouths and broke as he took a step back, his dark eyes looking into mine. He was only an inch or so shorter than I was, or perhaps he only appeared much shorter because of his poor posture. It wasn't fear and it wasn't shock that beamed from them, it was something else, something far more complex. I couldn't tell what it was he was trying to tell me with the dark deep pools that were so hypnotic and mesmerizing, how could it be no one had fallen for him before? Perhaps no one had looked into his eyes at length before.

"Ryuzaki, what's wrong, do you not want this?" I asked him concerned

"Light this is somewhat a bashful statement, but that kiss that you gave me was the first kiss I had ever received"

His cheeks turned a very light pink, almost missable if I hadn't been staring directly at them. I smiled at him, I knew that it would have been the first kiss he had. It was more than an honor to lock lips with someone like him, someone so genius, someone so complicated and sweet. It was defiantly much welcomed from the kisses I had received in the past, there had been a huge difference between locking lips with girls and kissing Ryuzaki, when I had osculated the women I had in past there was nothing but lust fueling it, there was no love it was more a heat of the moment thing that I did simply because I could. But as my lips pressed against his I could feel my heart suddenly leap into my throat and my pants tighten ever so slightly.

"Don't be ashamed, that will be the first of many more" I whispered again to him

I pulled him close to me again and placed my hands on either side of his face and I moved in for yet another kiss. He removed his hand from the waist band of his jeans and allowed them to fall down his legs, leaving long thick streaks of water on his pale skin as they fell to the floor in a heavy heap. His hands ran along my back and reached for my wet chestnut brown hair that was still dripping with cool water. His fingers laced with the strands and he gently pulled as our kiss deepened.

Our tongues danced with each other in a moist heated embrace as I took my hands away from his face and reached down to the dark brown dress pants I had worn that were stuck to my legs, enfolding around me like damp plastic wrap. I felt around for the small metallic latch that kept them from falling down and I released it, my trousers only falling slightly as the wet fabric attached itself to my thighs.

Ryuzaki released our kiss and took his hands from out of my hair, he looked down to see that not only were my pants stuck to my thighs but the white underpants I had been wearing were slightly see through and sporting a better than average sized tent. He reached his hands to my thighs and ran them down the muscle until he reached my pants and with a quick tug they dropped to the floor.

He lowered himself slowly to the floor, resting on his knees. He reached behind him and pulled his jeans completely away from his body, tossing them aside like and old rag. Once he was free from them, he stretched out to my ankles and gently lifted the left then the right to completely dispose of my pants too. Before he stood up I could feel his palms resting against each of my thighs, his hands were so indulgent, so smooth, his long slender fingers were like the softest feathers against my cold skin, he pressed something just as forgiving and wet on my flesh, next to where his hand rested, it was with the one long stroke that I had realized that it was his tongue.

I threw my head back and clenched my hands into fists I tried to hold back the moan but somehow it was forced out with my breath, I could feel my cheeks warm up rapidly. Years of practice using his tongue to dissolve sweets in his mouth had come in handy he knew exactly what he was doing. He rose up from his knees, his eyes piercing black and full of lust, love and joy. He hadn't said that he loved me but he didn't need to, I could see it there in the windows to his soul. I was somewhat nervous now, if he could make me feel that good with just one lick was I going to be able to make him feel just as good with my mouth? I could already see that just kissing him deeply and passionately had woken up his manhood, it was standing at attention, bounded by black underwear. I don't think anyone could even begin to imagine what he had hiding under his baggy clothing, in fact I was pleasantly surprised and who would have thought the lanky Ryuzaki was this well-endowed.

I had to end things there and then, if I was Ryuzaki's first kiss then I could assume that I would also be his first time making love and that was something that couldn't be rush, as much as I wanted him and I did so very much I would have to wait until I knew that any fears he had, any reservations he held onto were completely gone, I had to wait until I knew for sure that he truly trusted me. I looked at him with hungry eyes, dying just to taste him to feel the warmth of him inside my mouth I hated myself for grabbing a pair of warm dark blue jeans and a long white shirt from the wardrobe beside us, it wouldn't be long until the task force would arrive and we would have to remain as if nothing had happened, from the fight, the confession and to what we were doing now. I handed him the clothes

"You do realize Light that we will have to be chained back together and we will have to resume our normal behavior as if we were still friendly rivals" he said as he pulled on his clean dry clothes.

"Mm-hm, yes I know, I have a feeling that it will not exactly be an easy task but we cannot arouse suspicion amongst the others"

I reached in the wardrobe and found clothes identical to what I had been wearing when the task force left, a black long sleeved shirt and a pair of dark brown slacks.

"I am not ashamed of what has occurred Light, that is something that you need to know. I also have no intention of having this as a one off manifestation I hope after to tonight you share that same thought with me" He said as I fully clothed myself

I smiled at him and grabbed hold of his hand, I could feel the swelling in my face had desisted and it was back to normal. I guess I had chosen the perfect time to tell Ryuzaki about me being Kira because if it weren't for the cool touch of the rain I was sure that it would still resemble a balloon only half inflated

"I did tell you I loved you Ryuzaki, I didn't say it simply because I felt like saying it, I meant it. Just because we have to act differently in front of others doesn't mean what I feel for you has changed. I know I have a lot to do before you can trust me again but I will prove myself to you, no matter how long it takes" I replied

I leaned in close to him and kissed him again, a soft, slow gentle kiss so that neither of us could become aroused

"Besides it's not so bad being chained to you. I should go and burn the Death Note, get rid of it before the task force arrive." I said

Ryuzaki nodded in agreement, whilst he disappeared to collect the chain and the key from the bathroom and I gathered up the Death Note and the loose papers, including the one hiding in my wrist watch. I took them to the conference room where I had thrown them on the fire that had been lit earlier that morning by Watari. I watched as they lit up in a blue flame, the papers and the book slowly becoming ash. I was not going to betray Ryuzaki, not after yearning after him, wanting him and now being with him, no, that was not something I was willing to throw away, I had a future as a cop and I had a future with him and surely this would bring him one step closer to trusting me.

"Light?"

I could hear him calling out to me from the kitchen, he had sent Watari to his own home, that was on the top floor of the building, earlier that evening and so I was in charge on making sure that Ryuzaki was fed, kitchens and Ryuzaki did not mix.

As I entered the room I could see the refrigerator door wide open and Ryuzaki with his head right it trying to find the strawberry shortbread cake that Watari had made for him the day before yesterday, nobody had the heart to tell him that the task force had polished it off whilst he was taking a shower.

"Have you seen my cake?" he asked me

Why did I have to be the one to tell him where his cake went?

"It was eaten, but look I will make you something sweet there is still plenty of strawberries and I am sure there is some whipped cream somewhere in there. Just please get your head out of the fridge, after spending time in the rain tonight, your hair is still damp you will end up getting sick"

"Very well"

he sighed and moved away from the fridge, resting his back against the cupboard, folding one leg over the over and his arms across his chest, I could see the impatient look in his eyes, it only made me smile and shake my head. The pain I had forgotten about earlier had still lingered, but at least I could stand on my own now although having Ryuzaki looking after me was quiet pleasant.

I reached into the fridge and found a bowl of strawberries soaking in syrup, a can of whipped cream and some empty tart shells that had only been open last night. I closed the fridge behind me and placed the three ingredients on the counter.

"Come here sulky" I said to him

He did as I asked and stood beside me, still looking discontent, I had never met someone who was so passionate about cake in my entire life but that was just one more thing I loved about him, he was completely different from everyone else.

I scooped one of the strawberries and a small amount of syrup into one of the tart shells and covered it a thick layer of the whipped cream. I placed it on a small plate and grabbed a fork that I had seen him chew on countless times before. I pushed the fork into the tart, strawberry and cream and scooped up a decent amount. I held the fork out to Ryuzaki's mouth, he didn't even hesitate to open and take the entire amount into his mouth

"It tastes just like cake" he said with a mouth full of food. For someone who was typically polite he certainly didn't have very good eating manners.

"I burnt it all in the fire, it's all gone. Kira is gone, when I see Misa again I will ask for her note book and I will burn that too" I said to him

He looked at me, still chewing the food I had fed to him.

"Thank you" he replied and swallowed

He grabbed the plate and fork out of my hand and quickly devoured the rest of the tart. Once he was completely satisfied we made our way to the bathroom to collect the chains that Ryuzaki had abandoned to get something to eat.

He bent down to the tiles and picked up the chain and key, both cuffs were still open. He removed the shirt that he had torn that was still hanging off the chain and tossed it aside. I held out my wrist and he latched on the cuff and tightened it, but not too tightly around and I did the same for him. As he bent down to pick up the shirt and walk away with it, I stood still and yanked on the chain bringing him back to me.

I pushed him against the basin, rough enough so that his backside was resting on the lip of the ceramic bowl. It was hard for me to keep my hands away from him and I wanted him to have a better memory of us being cuffed together then the fight and the confession that I was Kira. I separated his legs and I stood between them, he gripped hold of the torn shirt tightly as I pressed my lips against his neck. I could feel not only myself but Ryuzaki becoming hard as I nuzzled his skin. His breaths were quick, my hands exploring the outside of his jeans, rubbing his hardened member with my fingertips. I could feel how warm his face had suddenly become, surely this was a much better moment in cuffs for him then the last time we were bound together. I pulled my lips away from his neck and looked at him in the eyes, I removed my hand and pushed my body up close to his.

"I am 100% sure that I am in love with you" he said.

I stayed pressed against him, I couldn't believe the words he had said, they were like music to my ears, although they were not necessary as I knew that he had the same love for me as I felt for him they were the most melodic words I could have ever heard, it made wanting to make love to him harder to resist. I could have taken him there and then but it would not have shown the love and respect I had towards him, just lustful hunger and Ryuzaki didn't deserve lustful hunger, he deserved romance and love and I intended to do this as perfectly as I could, it would be something both of us would remember forever.


	3. Chapter 3

**Big hello to MoonLawliet and BlueFox my first follower and my first reviewer, thanks so much for your support ^.^**

I couldn't help but gaze at him from across the other side of the couch. It was incredible how he managed to captivate an entire room. Each of the detectives including my father was hung on every one of his soft spoken words. I watched as he sat in his usual crouched position rubbing his big toes against each other and stopping every now and then to chew the tip of his thumb nail.

"Currently Kira has not made any moves, there has been a block of time, since yesterday afternoon where we have not heard or seen anything Kira related. I would like to say that this is a positive thing but the longer he remains inactive the harder it becomes to catch him. I want you all to be on your toes for the rest of the afternoon , keep an ear out for any reports and please answer your phones if they should ring it could be anyone calling in about information regarding the Kira murders, I am sure I do not have to remind you that sharing any information regarding Kira to the public is prohibited unless first instructed by me. I hope that despite his silence so far that you are all still committed to catching and prosecuting Kira"

It almost made me cringe listening to Ryuzaki's words. I had tried to remain unresponsive, I knew what he was saying was simply because he could not allow the task force to become aware that Kira was in fact dead and buried because Kira was me and I had disposed of the killer. We were going to have to plan this in the best strategic manner possible, I had no doubt that we were going to be able to accomplish something close to perfect between my brain and his there was a fool proof plan just waiting to be dug up.

I watched the detectives nod and their mouths move in reply but somehow it all seemed so silent, Ryuzaki's words still sinking in making me feel uneasy and guilty for what I had done. I had never felt guilt the whole time I was killing as Kira, that was something I could not lie about. I was doing the world a favor I was creating a perfect place to live and I could not see how what I was doing was wrong. I had been so caught up in trying to make the perfect planet that I had forgotten my usual principals, which was the first thing I had said after the first two deaths had sunk in, after I realized the true extremity of what I had did, it was murder, they were two living breathing human beings and despite their cruel and nasty actions I had killed two men, it was only because of my stubbornness and my ability to manipulate, even my own mind that I had convinced myself that it wasn't murder at all, I should have listened to my own reasoning back then, but then if I had I would not have met Ryuzaki, so in its own way the Death Note was a blessing to me because now I had felt truly happy, I had felt things were actually perfect and it gave me a great sense of gratification. But still there was a part of me that couldn't help but wonder what kind of world Ryuzaki and I could have created together, two of the best minds in Japan, the world's greatest Detective and the most intelligent university student in Japan, it could have been great.

I watched as the detectives made their way to a set of roller chairs on the other side of the room that sat under desks which housed numerous amounts of computers. I could hear their murmurs behind me. Even though Ryuzaki's words were spoken purely for my benefit I could only imagine how much it still struck him knowing what I had done, I was ashamed to know that there was a time where I wanted him dead, even until recently. Maybe I was the awful person that Kira had been called, since I was Kira I couldn't help but think about every harsh and cruel word I had heard the detectives, my father and even Ryuzaki say about Kira, even if I had told Ryuzaki that I was Kira on the first day we met, would he have still had the same thoughts?, would he have had me arrested right there and then? I was absolutely sure of it. I had made the right move of telling him yesterday instead of a year ago. I turned my gaze back to him, he was chewing on his thumb nail again, I had to smile. It was hard to believe that he was eight years my senior, he just seemed so childlike. I looked at the dark circles around his eyes, they had been there every day since we met and he had probably had them long before then too, it was a sign of his severe sleep deprivation, I couldn't lie, I was concerned about him, sure he was the best of the best but even the best needed to sleep, I was going to have to find a way to get him to sleep tonight, even just for an hour, I couldn't even imagine what he would look like without the dark markings, but with or without the panda eyes I had still thought he was beautiful.

"Light?" he asked

I turned to face him, he was no longer chewing on his nail and was looking at me with a spark of light in his eyes, it was often hard to tell if he was exultant, miserable, annoyed, euphoric if he didn't show the emotion with the rest of his face, because his eyes were so dark he was hard to read, at least for everyone else anyway, for me it was quite easy I had known him better than anyone so all it took was one quick glance and I could tell, or at least guess what he was feeling.

"Yes?"

"I have been contemplating on a move after the Kira case has been solved"

A move? What kind of move?

"What do you mean Ryuzaki?"

"I would appreciate it if you would come work with me on my cases, I am confident that you would be of a great help to me"

He replied

"Does this mean you no longer suspect Light, Ryuzaki?" I heard my father's voice in the background

"I am less than 1% sure that Light is in fact Kira and I am more than 80% that he would be of great use to me in the future regarding cases, I have not been able to find anyone who matches me on intelligence in the past and I am 90% sure that if Light agrees to join me that we will have no troubles at all solving cases, even if they match the Kira case in difficulty" He replied to my father, who had a beaming smile under his thick black moustache hair.

"Ryuzaki.." I was slightly lost for words, I knew that I would be a part of his future but to be able to work alongside him too, it was the ultimate fantasy and honor. I would be working side by side with the world's greatest detective, there was going to be so much I could learn from him, and a lot I was sure I could teach him too and side by side we could learn together.

"I accept your offer" I continued, my father let out a loud chuckle of joy and Ryuzaki smiled a loving and warm grin at me,

Soon my father's strong hands were patting me on the back, I couldn't help but wonder if he would still be patting me on the back if he knew how I was planning on thanking Ryuzaki for such an amazing opportunity, was he really ready to put Kira behind us and move on?, I had to contain my excitement my father would know something was up if I acted overly excited

"Thanks dad" I simply said, he gave me one last pat and went back to his station

"Watari?" Ryuzaki called out

The older grey haired, grey moustache man appeared from the kitchen wearing a white apron and holding a wooden mixing spoon

"I am going to need a celebratory cake if you don't mind, I am in need of something sweet" He stated kindly

"Yes, of course" Watari smiled and walked back into the kitchen.

All I could do now is wait until darkness approached, everyone would go home and Ryuzaki and I would be alone once more. I couldn't help but think of everything that had happened between us since we had met, I had noticed it very early on, Ryuzaki hated physical contact and yet he had no trouble shaking my hand the first day we met, he had never shook any ones hand, at least while I was around. He defiantly had no problems hitting me, even though I was the one who had thrown the first punch and even when he took care of me, right from the beginning there had to be something that made him feel comfortable with me. From the moment he started suspecting I was Kira the contact hadn't stopped between us, although it was not often it seemed to me that I had been his exception, what was it about me in the very beginning that made him disband his typical rules? I knew that I was going to have to ease him into a relationship, although my longest relationship was a loveless one at least on my part and it was with Misa I still had a grip on how a relationship should be and I knew that Ryuzaki had not been in love before, he hadn't had someone love him before which was probably why he froze up every time I kissed him, he was not used to someone paying such loving attention to him, I loved Ryuzaki very dearly but I couldn't help but worry that I was not going to be able to help him accept the love I had to offer him, and wanted him to have.

"Is everything alright Light?" He asked me

I shook my head out of my trance of questions and worries, it wasn't like me to be worried but when it came to the matters of the heart, but it was Ryuzaki's and it was not something I was going to be able to shrug off like I normally did.

"Yeah of course, just in shock I suppose. I think I need some coffee"

I couldn't believe I was lying, he had asked me once if I had ever told the truth from the moment I was born, I had told him like every human being there had been times I had stretched the truth but never intentionally tried to hurt anyone, I guess that was a lie because I had said I wasn't Kira and when I had confessed that I was, I knew I had hurt Ryuzaki, even if he was trying to ignore the hurt I was not stupid, I knew it had killed him. Now I was lying to him again, great start to a relationship Light, great start.

We both stood up and we walked to the kitchen, although Ryuzaki was complete useless in the kitchen and relied heavily on Watari, I however liked to do things for myself including getting my own coffee. The kitchen was empty but I could smell the cake baking in the oven, Watari must have ducked out to get some ingredients that he needed. Once we were in the safety of the kitchen, Ryuzaki closed the door behind us

"The last thing I want to do is accuse you of lying Light, but I can't help but assume that you are not alright, contrary to what you had just said"

Damn his observations. He knew me better than he knew himself

"I am concerned, I have tried to shrug what I am about to tell you off but it seems almost impossible. I am worried that I will not be able to control myself when I am alone with you, even last night while we were in bed I had to force myself not to do anything to shock you, I do love you Ryuzaki and what concerns me is that perhaps the amount I do love you will push you away, I understand no one has loved you in the way that I do and that only makes me fearful that too much of love will only make you distant from me"

He looked at me with his deep dark eyes and then quickly to the side counter, he lifted himself up onto the top of the counter, letting his legs hang from the edge it was strange to see him sitting so normally, as if he could read my thoughts he soon pulled his legs up and sat in a crouching position, which tugged on the chain that linked us together, pulling me close to him

"I see. I can understand your concern Light, however let me offer you something that may assist you in being able to get rid of such a thought. I am twenty eight years old, and in twenty eight years I have neither expected or demanded any form of love, friendship or other wise, simply because I have believed for a long time that one such a myself does not deserve anything but loneliness. You once asked me why I indulge in sweets much too often and I can tell you that somehow I find comfort in the sugar, it is almost as if whilst I am eating things that will probably be the death of me it takes away any bitterness or sourness I have within me. I have not been loved be anyone because I have not been suitable to anyone, because I am stubborn I will refuse to change who I am, hypocritical as that may seem seeing as how I more or less demanded you give up your life as Kira. Between not believing I deserve love and not being suitable for love I have merely kept to myself. You were the first friend I had ever had and that filled me with an unfamiliar joy but I accepted it openly and since you have told me that you love me I have accepted that openly too, without debate to sexual orientation, without questioning if it were wrong or right I have simply accepted what you are offering, because Light, despite my initial thoughts you have made me believe that perhaps I deserve love"

I could feel my cheeks and my heart warm up. As I suspected I had been worrying about something that I shouldn't have. Perhaps that was still a childish part of me that I would have to learn to grow out of, Ryuzaki loved me, how could I even begin to believe that he would try and hide from that? He had been more mature about my confession of my love then I had been, whilst I spent moments questioning it he had accepted it for what it was, no questions, no debates. Before I could say anything to him he began to say something more

"Furthermore stop worrying about if I trust you or not, whist your confession about who you were threw me through what felt like a Vortex, I have no reason now not to trust you, you had taken the chance to tell me your deepest darkest secret, even though you had no idea if I were bluffing about not being able to be part of your execution if you were Kira, you told me anyway. I can put Kira behind me, as I hope you can too. The past is called the past for a reason Light. My focus is the future and having you working and if you agree to it, living alongside me too"

I had been so concerned that it was all going to be too much for him but he had offered me a job to work with him and was now asking me to live with him, I had been so foolish. Ryuzaki had taken this seriously, it wasn't just a one off thing, it wasn't a false trade of love it was the real deal and perhaps if I had spent less time questioning us and more time just accepted what we had was real and between best friends then I would have saved myself a lot of unnecessary worry. It was any wonder I hadn't given myself a hernia

I stood in front of him, looking up into his eyes. He didn't even have to smile with his mouth for me to know that he was happy with our, or rather his conversation. My cheeks had been slightly blushed with pink, I had felt embarrassed and also flattered. Of course I was going to accept his offer to live with him, it was not only convenient for working purposes but I couldn't imagine not being able to spend as much time with him as possible. One thing I had taken from my actions as Kira was that none of us knew, unless you're a Shinigami or have Shinigami eyes, when our time was up and being with Ryuzaki was what made me happy so I was going to make the most of it. I didn't even want the coffee anymore, just him.

"I want to kiss you" I whispered to him. I placed my hand on his cheek, and my other hand on his knee.

"It is risky, some one may walk in" He replied turning his gaze to the door, I gently encouraged him to look back at me

"I don't care Ryuzaki" I replied

I pursed my lips against his, we closed our eyes and our tongues brushed against each other in an open mouthed deep, long, passionate kiss. I felt his hand shift from under mine and suddenly a strong grasp in between my legs, I hadn't even realized I was already as hard as a rock until Ryuzaki had squeezed me over my pants. I felt a moan escape my mouth, a cavernous, robust moan that floated between our locked mouths. He pulled his hand and mouth away from me and slid off the counter, reaching into his back pocket and retrieving his key for the cuffs

"Wait" I said before he could unlock us.

"I have an idea" I continued. I pulled him to the door and I opened it, I looked down and noticed I was still hard.

"You should go first" I said, he smiled a cheeky smile and led the way

"Where exactly are you planning on going to?" he whispered to me

"Bedroom" I replied.

Everyone had been busy staring at their computer screens and phones to even notice that Ryuzaki and I slipped right past them without raising any suspicion. It was a rush knowing that we were doing something most would consider unorthodox in a building that was currently occupied by five other people other than ourselves. We walked to the room, closing the door quietly behind us, I reached for the lock and turned it barring us in and everyone else out. I pushed him hard against the door, completely forgetting it would have made a profound noise to those on the other side. I waited a few brief moments before continuing, making sure that no one had heard the door, once I knew it had fallen on deaf ears I eased the key out of Ryuzaki's hands and unlocked the chains around our wrists. I bunched the heavy metal in my hand and placed it and the key silently on the wooden desk that had always been completely empty. I pressed my body against his, even though we were both completely clothed I could feel each curve, each small muscle of his body against mine. His manhood entirely at attention and poking my inner thigh. I placed my hand against his chest, as much as I wanted to make love to him it was going to be impossible, it was going to be somewhat painful and we couldn't be loud and I had no doubt that either of us would be able to be silent, the last thing we needed was the task force coercing their way through the door and being surprised by Ryuzaki and I in the process of making love. I could feel his heart pounding hard against my hand

"Are you scared?" I asked him

"Not at all, while this is completely new to me it doesn't frighten me; if anything it fascinates me knowing that I am treading unfamiliar territory without hindrances or concerns"

As much as I loved Ryuzaki I sometimes wished he had a yes or no answer, he always sounded so calm and he described things in detail, it was a display of his intelligence but right now it wasn't about intelligence, after all it wasn't his brain that was poking me quite forcefully.

I took my palm away from his chest and pressed both of them against the door, securing my lover against it. He was standing completely straight and may have even been just a slightly bit taller than I was now that he wasn't slouched over. I took his mouth with mine eagerly and fervently, I could taste the sweetness on his tongue all the sugary treats he enjoyed and left a permanent syrupy taste in his mouth. I hadn't been much of a dessert person myself but his mouth was like my own personal honey pot, each stroke of my tongue against his was like licking a block of pure honeycomb. His fingers delicately slipped under the waist of my shirt and tickled my skin as he traced small lines upon my flesh, it sent a shiver up and down my spine. I pulled my mouth away from his and we both opened our eyes. It was going to be hard to stop myself now that I had started, I promised myself that our first time together was not going to be about lust, it was going to be romantic and fueled by love. You didn't have to love someone to lust for them and I loved Ryuzaki so I didn't want him to let me do whatever I felt like doing to him just because we were both very lascivious. My breathing was strong and heavy, he reached up and pushed my chestnut brown hair out of my eyes, eyes that if were anything like his, wide and dark with excitement and filled with unbridled passion.

"You're going to have to tell me to stop Ryuzaki, like I said I don't think I am going to be able to control myself around you when we are alone" I gasped through the deep breaths

He lowered his hand from my face and firmly grasped the clasp on my pants, he didn't move his hand he just gripped it, he knew just as well as I did that we could not be having sex right now, not in present company. Even though I was concerned about how it was going to feel and I was worried I would end up hurting him I still wanted him badly.

"I am sorry Light but I won't be telling you to stop, I do not want you to stop" he whispered to me


	4. Chapter 4

**A big hello to my new follower Ryo Tsuyoshi thank you for your support ^.^**

I couldn't exactly say that I was surprised by Ryuzaki's reaction. When it came to doing what Ryuzaki wanted to do there was no negative reply and there was no argument. Knowing that Ryuzaki wouldn't stop me from completely taking full advantage of the state of euphoria we were both in made me want him all that more. His hand still grasped the latch on my pants and I still had him pinned to the door.

"I love you" I looked at him with passion burning inside my gut. My entire body was craving his, wanting his bare skin against mine, our bodies intertwining and devouring each other. But if they heard us outside the door there would be no hiding what we were doing. I had to find a way to calm down

"I love you too" he replied in his deep monotone voice

It would have been hard for anyone to understand why someone like me was with someone like him, although we were matched on intelligence and even our fears and desires were much alike we were completely different appearance wise. I was a good looking man, even at first glance, people would want to talk to me simply because I was attractive, they would have no interest on what I thought, felt or said because I was a pretty picture. With Ryuzaki he was peculiar looking, his wide dark eyes, his messy jet black hair, his pale skin even the way he was slightly slouched when he walked as well as the odd manner he sat in and no one would even think to approach him, I felt sorry for him in that respect because what people had been missing out on was someone intelligent, kind and mysterious and surprisingly a very forward lover.

I had never been hungry for a man before, as a matter of fact I had never been that hungry for anyone before. It was as if he had reached into my soul and taken it as his own and I had done the same to him. Ever since the very first kiss I had never wanted to taste something so desperately over and over again. I had felt as if I had been replaced with a savage beast, I couldn't forget how his flesh felt against my tongue and lips, just looking at him, burying myself deep into his eyes was feeding my burning desire, I wanted to taste every inch of him, I wanted to touch every single patch of flesh. It was a heartache, it was painful wanting him so badly and yet knowing that I couldn't it was the worst kind of torture.

As much as I loved him and wanted our first time to be special I could think of nothing more than indulging my thirst in any way I could until I was completely satisfied. I felt incredibly guilty for feeling what I was feeling. When I could feel him tugging at my pants I knew that it was all over, despite of who was on the other side of the door I couldn't take it anymore. I lunged at him pressing my lips against his neck, licking and gently nipping. I run my tongue up his hot skin, it felt like the softest and smoothest silk. As soon as I could feel his hands investigate the inside of my pants I had completely forgotten we were not alone in the building. He grasped my throbbing member tightly and squeezed, pleasure and pain shooting through me like a stray bolt of lightening. I wanted to moan, I wanted to call out his name but I pressed my lips against his, our tongues in a feverish battle for dominance. I grasped his wrist while he kissed me and pulled his hands away from my hardened member. I yanked him off the door and walked him over to the bed that I had slept in while he watched the ceiling. I sat down with my back against the head board, I drew him down with me, like a carnivorous jungle cat he crawled to me and rested in between my spread legs. I laced my fingers through his hair and pulled him in close, his knees were pressed up against the back of my legs, his manhood hard against mine, his hands either side of my hips, resting on the mattress and his eyes looking up at me from my chin. I leaned my head down and rose him up, his thigh now resting against my member. My lips against his ear.

"From the moment I met you I knew one thing was for an absolute definite, I would spend the rest of my life being in love with you, no matter what else happened" I whispered in his ear

"Lie down" He demanded softly

I did exactly as he asked, he shifted himself and I lied down on my back. He sat on me with his knees against the mattress, he straddled me with such dominance, such force. He took his hands and placed them under my shirt, touching and dancing on my skin like soft feathers. His touch was gentle and yet it made me want to scream out his name. He watched me as I closed my eyes and tilted my head back slightly in the intense pleasure. I bit into my bottom lip hard enough to make it bleed so that I wouldn't moan. His eyes were still on me, I could feel them burning into me, calling to me. He rubbed himself against me I had no idea what he was doing, I was afraid if I opened my eyes and looked at him I would not only yell out something but also make a mess inside my underwear. He pressed his tongue against my lip and lapped up the blood that I had drawn from the bite. His tongue lovingly licked the wound until it had completely stopped bleeding, if that wasn't love I didn't know what was.

Once he could tell the bleeding had stopped he had once again found the latch on my pants, only this time not hesitating he clicked it open. I could feel him lift himself off of me and shimmy down so that his mouth was in line with the lower part of my stomach. His hands gripped either side of my pants and in one swift move he yanked on them, bringing them and my underwear down and reveling my almost painful hard-on. I had to catch my breath, there was no way this was my sweet Ryuzaki, it couldn't be. Could his exterior just been a gentle casing for this animalistic L that was about to completely take me over the edge? had I been so stupid all this time thinking that it would be I that would have to ease him into this? I knew he hadn't done anything like this before so where on earth was this coming from?. I had to open my eyes, I had to see him, I had to make sure that this was Ryuzaki, my Ryuzaki. Sure enough as soon as I saw those wide deep dark eyes staring at me while he silently hovered over my ridiculously painful and hard manhood. Then he smiled, a smile that I had never seen before, it was somewhat devilish. He didn't break his stare instead he stuck out his tongue and he licked my member, that tongue of his, it was like Heaven and Hell all in one hit. It was astonishingly good and yet it was like being through the worst agony I had ever been through. He retracted his tongue and raised his head

"Don't make a sound Light" he whispered

Why did he have to remind me? It was already hard enough as it was. As soon as he lowered his head again I grasped the thick jet black scruff he had on his head with both hands and I squeezed my lips shut. As soon as I felt his warm sweet tongue rolling over the full length and his lips pressed firmly against my shaft I could feel my orgasm boiling up inside my stomach. I had complained to him once about the amount of candy he ate but now I was regretting even complaining the things he had been doing with his tongue was like a constant roller coaster. I wanted to scream, I wanted to take him and force him to the mattress and make love to him, I wanted to make him cry in pleasure, I wanted to make him scream out my name so loud that it would ring in his ears for weeks.

"Light? L? Are you in there?" A sudden voice had come from the other side of the door. It was Matsuda. Ryuzaki lifted his head and wiped his mouth, flashing me a cheeky smile almost as if he were saying "this will be interesting"

"Yeah" My voice had sounded broken up, I tried clearing it. After holding my breath and holding in my wail of enjoyment, I had given myself a case of dry throat.

"Yeah we are fine, we are –"

His mouth was around me again

"We are trying to find the key for the chains, Could you have a lo – look out there for us and see if y – you can find it?" I was stuttering and trying to catch my breath at the same time, Ryuzaki had started to make me think he was some kind of sadist; he must have been enjoying putting me through this, if he was a sadist I was defiantly a masochist.

"What does it look like?" Matsuda asked

"Is he fucking kidding me right now" I whispered to Ryuzaki who gave a quick mumble that had vibrated against me, I had nearly complete lost all my bearings

"Like a fucking key!" I ended up yelling, if I hadn't yelled that I would have yelled out Ryuzaki's name.

"Ok I will have a look for you"

I listened as the footsteps had disappeared away from the door.

"L? someone's phoning about the Kira case" I heard my fathers voice call out from the other room.

This could not be happening, this was possibly the worst form of torture I could have gone through

Ryuzaki lifted his head

"Coming" he yelled out

He looked at me with wide smiling eyes

"But it looks like you are not allowed to just yet" he said to me, I wanted to either hit him or just make love to him right there and then either would have satisfied me.

He got up and used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe his mouth. He held out his hand for me and I took it shaking my head while I pulled up my underwear and pants simultaneously

"You are cruel man Ryuzaki" I said

He kissed my lips, softly and gentle while I latched up my pants. Once they were done up I placed my hands on his hips and he snaked his arms around the back of my neck. Our kisses had been almost butterfly-like, so soft and caring, I really couldn't have hit him even if I wanted to there was no way I was ever going to hurt my Ryuzaki again.

"I am a very lucky man Ryu'" I said to him as I pulled my lips away from his

"Lawliet" he replied

It took me a brief second to register what he had said

"When we are alone I am Lawliet, you are the first person I have ever told that to, I hope you will keep it safe"

"I will take it to my grave"

We had a brief kiss again before we left the room and into the other.

Matsuda had looked down at our wrists and noticed the lack of handcuffs

"You set him free, I'M SO HAPPY, does this mean you no longer suspect Light of being Kira?" he said in a overly cheery voice

"Light is no longer a suspect. I have discovered that even faced with intense amounts of pressure he is able to stay calm, which tells me that he isn't lying to me when he tells me he isn't Kira"

I could hear the innuendo in his voice which is usually so bland, but at the moment I could hear the joy in it.

"That's FANTASTIC news right Light?" Matsuda said patting me on the back

"Yes it's great" I replied

"L? phone" My father said thrusting the phone into Ryuzaki's hand, he held it up to his ear with his thumb and index finger

"Yes? – Hmm well that is interesting—well then tell me Kira how exactly are you killing these people—I see, I don't exactly appreciate you wasting my time with your obvious lies" He pulled the phone away from his ear and passed it back to my father.

It had been another hoax, we had received more hoax calls then anything, it had got on Ryuzaki's nerves. The next few hours were quiet and whilst I indulged in quick flirty glances with my dark haired dark eyed man whilst he ran his thumb against his bottom lip, teasing me I had just wanted to day to end so we could finish what he had started earlier.

"I have a feeling we won't hear much today from Kira, you're welcome to stay or you could go home if you wish, I will contact you if anything changes" Ryuzaki said, it was going to be hard going from calling him Ryuzaki to calling him Lawliet. Honestly I could see how that named suited him, slightly melodic and almost heroic like.

I had no doubts that everyone would leave and go home, I could tell my father was growing tired of the Kira case and he missed his usual police work, I knew it wouldn't be long before he would be able to go back and continue doing what he loved

"Light, now that you are no longer a suspect would you like to come home for some dinner?" My father asked pulling his jacket on over his shoulders

"No thanks Dad, I got some food at my place in the fridge from yesterday I need to eat, you know me waste not, want not" I said smiling with my hand through my hair

"Maybe tomorrow then?"

"Sure dad, tomorrow" I replied

He flashed me a quick smile and left followed by the other task members.

We were alone again, after the insanity of the bedroom incident all I wanted was to be alone with him, even if it were just to kiss him and not have to cower off to the room to do so.

He was in my arms as soon as the coast was clear. He had locked the front door with the dead bolt that could only be activated by a key card on the outside or if someone disabled the lock.

"I am sorry Light maybe I was a bit too cruel to you earlier, but you see I had a hard time controlling what seems natural to me. Light, I have to tell you something, and it's only because I trust you that I am going to tell you this"

"What is Lawliet?" I asked

"Even though you are the first person I have ever loved I have known for quite some time that I have not been interested in the female gender, it was only until I met you that I had realized how much I actually detested the idea of even thinking about been romantically involved with a female. When you had told me you loved me, I had had already come to the conclusion that you did long before you confessed it, and in saying that, even though I have mentioned it before I never actually believed that you would have caused me any harm, including my death because I believe you have loved me for a long time and you felt as if you had to fight that because we are both male. I do know the reason you wanted me dead was because I had got in your way but that was before we had met face to face and I think that your reasons had changed once we did meet, you only wanted me gone because only then you could have been freed from feeling what you had been feeling towards me. This is the last time I will ever mention you being Kira, but I think you deserved to know what I had been thinking all this time"

He couldn't have been more correct. Everything he said about me and my thoughts when I was Kira was completely accurate, everything. I had simply resented him after we met because he had been fueling the passion and the desire I had for him that I didn't want to feel because I was afraid. I was so childish, so scared of love because we were both men, I wish I had known back then what I knew now, there was nothing wrong with me loving another man. It wasn't just any man it was Lawliet. He was mine and I was never going to lose him, I wanted him for however long forever was and I didn't care who had a problem with it. I was going to tell my parents about us tomorrow, I needed them to know that they weren't going see me with a woman, I didn't want what was supposed to be normal, I wanted Lawliet.

"You see right through me don't you?" I asked him

"It's not hard, I think I can see your heart in your eyes and they tell me everything that I need to know" He replied

This was the moment I had hoped for it was perfect, he had not only told me his real name which proved his absolute trust in me he had also told me that he had been interested in men for quite some time. He really did trust me and that had disposed of all my worries.

I placed my lips against his and kissed him slowly. Our eyes closed and completely indulged ourselves in each others warm mouths. His hands had rested on my waist and my hands were on his cheeks. I could feel him slightly swaying against me, just touching him made me feel so alive. It was the night, it had to be it couldn't be any more perfect. I couldn't hold of any longer and I knew that he was completely ready for it, neither of us were scared, there were no reservations or concerns just a lot of love and want between us. I moved my hands down from his cheeks and placed one of my palms against his chest and the other around his back, I gently stroked his milky flesh, his heart pounding hard against my hand, fast and strong. We stopped our kisses to take in air and I placed my forehead against his, for the first time I could almost feel his aura, the light around him just entering me and bringing me to him. He had never felt so beautiful in the entire time we had been kissing, being close even after the insanely torturous moments in the bedroom earlier on. It was so hard to believe that love could feel like this, it didn't matter that we were both male, it didn't matter that we had once been rivals, what mattered was now and the future.

I took his hand and I gently pulled him to follow me back to the bedroom where he had made me see and feel Heaven and Hell just a few hours earlier. I shut the door behind us and pulled him close to me again. I admired him whilst he grabbed the collar of my shirt and traced his fingers down to the top button and undid it without a single fumble and moved down to the next until all eight buttons had been undone and he pushed the shirt away from my chest and down my arms, allowing it to fall to the floor. He kissed one gentle kiss in between my collar bones and raised his head back to my eyes. I grazed my lips across his jaw line and onto his cheek and once again on his lips. I raised the bottom of his shirt and pulled it up, slowly and lightly just gently touching the skin on his torso as I lifted it up and over his body, arms and head before tossing it to the floor. I grabbed his hand again and we walked to the bed where we had both sat down, it was the first time I had seen him comfortably sit without his knees up against his chest. I smiled at him and pushed away the stray strands of black hair out of his large dark grey eyes. I lightly pushed him down and planted his feet to the mattress, spreading his legs slowly. I rested myself between them, linking my arms underneath his thighs. I kissed along his stomach and up the side of him making sure my lips touched where each of his ribs were. He squirmed slightly, he had been ticklish there, or rather extremely sensitive. He breathed out a moan, just to hear him moaning because I had made him was more than enough pleasure for me. I released his legs and ran my hands up his thighs and rested myself tightly between his legs.

"Lawliet?" I said in an almost whisper

"Mmm?" he hummed

"Tomorrow I want to tell my parents about you and I"

"Are you sure Light?" he asked almost concerned

I nodded

"Of course, why wouldn't I want to tell them, no matter what is said I won't stop loving you, I don't think any thing could stop me loving you sweetheart"

It had been the first affectionate pet name I had ever said, to anyone. It sounded strange coming out of my mouth but it didn't sound strange to who I was saying it to, he was a sweetheart, he had not given me any reason to believe any different.

"I will be there with you, I don't think I would ever forgive myself if I let you do that alone, that is if you want me there"

He made me smile, typical Lawliet. His name may have been different but he was exactly the same.

I leaned into his and took his mouth with mine. Our kisses had started to become deeper and longer, that sweet delicate taste of his mouth had made it nearly impossible to stop kissing him. He placed his hand on the back of neck and pulled me in closer to him. My hand investigated his jeans and fiddled to undo the button and the zip. He had seen me and now it was only fair to see what was in store for me.


	5. Chapter 5

****WARNING WARNING LEMONS GALORE!****

I took a deep breath. Still gazing into his eyes, I already had an idea of what Lawliet had been hiding underneath his jeans and I was already impressed so I was eager to see without fabric covering his manhood. I slowly pulled down his jeans and the black underwear had been wearing, I reached my hands down and grasped him with my full palm, even still he was much longer then my hand. I wish I had a camera at that point just so I could have captured the look on his face when I had placed my hand around his fully erect member.

"Cold hands" He gasped and then shivered quickly. I smiled and started to move my hand around in an up and down motion, brushing his length with my palm.

"Better?" I asked

He didn't say anything just nodded, I watched his chest rise and fall deeply and heavily. It must have been quite a rush to have someone else, other than his own hand on that part of his body. It was the first time anyone had ever got this far and I could see the excitement build in his eyes. While I stroked him and watched him swallow hard I had wondered if he had ever done this himself while thinking about me. I removed my hand and continued to pull off his jeans and underwear until he was lying there completely naked in front of me. I rested up on my knees and undid the latch on my pants, quickly removing them and my underwear and tossing everything on the floor beside our shirts. I searched the bed for the blanket that was usually bunched up at the end of the bed. Once I had found it I grasped it and pulled it over us as I rested myself back between his legs. I completely covered us except our heads. I leaned down and kissed his chest, tracing my tongue along his pectoral muscles, down his ribs and along his stomach, leaving warm wet streaks down his slender yet toned body. He ran his fingers through my hair, messing it as he teased it with his fingers with every new lick I placed on his body.

My lips and tongue brushed lightly against his skin until I had found his full length. He was surprisingly well endowed for someone that was so scrawny and lanky. I never expected him to be as big as it was. As soon as my lips touched the very tip I could feel him melt into the mattress and almost turn into a liquid in my arms. His back arched slightly and his fingers tensed in my hair, I was sure by now I was sporting the same hairstyle as he always had, the I just fell out of bed look that he wore so very well. I had devoured more of him, the more of him I took in my mouth the more he panted and moaned. For someone who was usually so quiet, even when he was talking he had certainly made it obvious that he was enjoying what I was doing to him. I had licked the entire length of his shaft before engulfing it again with my lips and tongue; suddenly I felt his body tremble and his grip had become so strong in my hair that I had to stop before he ripped any of it out. He relaxed his hands and let the hair slip away from his fingers. His arms dropped heavily to his sides and as if they were made of concrete he couldn't lift them again. I continued making love to his member with my mouth. He was right, it felt natural. I hadn't hesitated or questioned anything, I did what felt right to me and this felt completely right. He moaned loudly although he tried to mask it by placing his hand over his mouth. I stopped for a brief second and looked up at him and pulled his hand away from his mouth

"Don't hide it" I said kindly to him

Once he removed his hand away I went back down and once again pleasured him. This would have been the first time with anyone's lips or tongue there and he was doing exceptionally well not to have released himself, but I shouldn't have really been surprised that man was capable of even the greatest feats, he was able to handle anything, he was like a super hero.

"LIGHT!" He yelled without warning, it was all I needed to know to keep going, his hands gripped hold of the sheet underneath him. I could have sworn I heard a tear in the material as he did but I ignored it and kept pleasuring him. I had licked and sucked so much that saliva had dripped onto the sheet, I stopped when I realized how wet everything had become. I pulled the quilt from off my head and I eased myself until I was face to face with him again. He pulled me down to meet his lips lightly brushing them against mine

"Are you sure you're ready?" I asked him

"Of course, I wouldn't be lying here if I weren't" he replied

I kissed his mouth again and he took me passionately as if trying to distract himself from what was going to be one of most painful things any one could feel doing it for the first time. I removed my mouth from his briefly. I placed my index and middle finger against his lips, the happily took them into his mouth and sucked, I gasped at the motion of his mouth on my fingers, it was enough to nearly make me explode.

"You are not allowed to do that again" I said smiling whilst removing my fingers from his mouth, they had been completely covered in saliva

He had actually laughed, it was the first time I had ever heard him laugh, it was as if I were dreaming. I really couldn't believe the genuine joyful chuckle that he exhaled, he had found it just as funny as I did, I had actually become somewhat jealous of my own fingers and that was hilarious in its own right.

We both took a breath and stopped giggling. I could feel the saliva roll down and drip off the tips of my fingers. I pressed my lips against his, before I could slide my fingers deep inside him, I pulled away from his lips and I looked into his eyes, they were a beautiful dark stormy grey. I eased one finger inside of him to start with, he didn't even seem to flinch but I felt his entire body shudder underneath me, it felt like a massive vibration of pure intense pleasure. I wanted him so badly that my body had actually began to hurt from the anticipation of taking him completely. Once I was sure he was comfortable I slipped my other finger in, this time he responded with a soft whelp. I didn't move.

"Do you want me to stop?" I asked him making sure he wasn't in too much pain

"No not at all, I want you Light, I want you inside me" He replied.

I immediately removed my fingers from inside him. I could hear the plea in his voice, he wanted me as much as I wanted him and there was no need to hold it off any longer. I steadied myself and encouraged my throbbing, somewhat painful member inside of him, he gripped the sheet hard. Throwing his head back in ecstasy and letting out what sounded like a growl and a moan at the same time but through clenched teeth. I felt as if there was an explosion after explosion going off inside my body, it had felt as if time it self had stopped as soon as I entered him, even after the first gentle thrust I found myself feeling as if I had been completely high on some kind of drug that made you sensitive to touch, so much so that I was sure that if I didn't try and calm down I was going to cum my love for him right in that very second. I took a deep breath and swallowed hard. Lawliet brought his head back so that our gaze met. Before I did anything more I made sure that there was no hint of pain or sadness in his dark eyes. He grasped my hair and pulled me towards him, he took my mouth in a hard thirty passionate kiss, our tongues rolling and rubbing against each other, making us both want more. I pushed myself inside of him deeper and harder, making him pull away from my mouth just so he could moan loudly against my lips. His growling made me wilder, hungrier I didn't want to stop I wanted him to take all of me. So I grabbed his hips and yanked him closer to me, making me go further, deeper inside of him. It was almost all in.

He screamed a loud and passionate scream I could hear him breathe out my name in hot, hard, rough pants of complete excitement. I could feel his hips rock in rhythm with mine, his hot breath pulsating against my mouth. He had opened his eyes and looked straight into me, pulling and tugging at my soul making me want to push the last bit of my length inside him, I wasn't sure if he was going to be able to handle it, I had already been in so deep that with every soft thrust I could feel myself getting closer and closer to releasing inside of him. I had to breath, I had to distract myself but those eyes, those sweet, seductive, dark, mysterious eyes they just wouldn't let me go. I couldn't wait any longer, I pushed just a bit further until he had completely swallowed the entire length of me, he didn't even wince or complain only a single tear caught in each of his eyes, they were so sweet, tears of someone innocent who had let the only person he had ever trusted inside of him. I placed my thumb against the tears and wiped them away from his eyes, he tried to thank me, he tried to get the words to come out but they were caught in his throat

"You don't have to thank me" I panted to him, I tried to hold back the growl that had been building up inside of me, I could feel his muscles pulsating around my length and it had not helped me trying not to cum without first making sure he did. I only wanted to make Lawliet happy, I wanted him to feel every kind of joy possible, he deserved it, all of it. He deserved to be loved by someone who would love him for everything he was and that was me, it didn't matter to me if people thought he was crazy or weird, I had loved everything about him even his oddities. I thrusted myself in side of him, pulling some of my length out and pushing it back in side him, I repeated it in slow thrusts until I knew we were both ready. His hips were grinding against mine, Both our bodies sweating and heaving with hot sticky passion. I could feel his hands reach for my back and the moment those nails had touched my skin my thrusts had become harder, faster, unfathomable, hitting the soft tender spot deep inside him.

"LIGHT!" he yelled beneath me

"LAWLIET" I growled his name in return, oh God how I loved that man beneath me, there was nothing I wouldn't do for him, nothing.

Helpless noises spilled from his throat, his cries and pants of pleasure surrounding me, pulling me in making me want to scream. The pressure was building up inside of me, I was so close, so fucking close.

"I..I..I can't hold it any longer!" he said in a loud pant

"Cum for me sweetheart" I whispered to him, I could get used to calling him sweetheart it suited him so well

I watched the look of shock on his face as I felt the warm sticky mess between us. I traced a finger along his stomach where most of his juice had ended up, my finger tingled to the warmth of the cloudy liquid, I placed my finger inside of my mouth just so I could taste him, just as I suspected it had been richer then maple syrup. I thrusted him harder and faster and I could feel my heart as it stopped beating for a few brief seconds, I listened to his moans and pants, he had sounded so exhausted from his orgasm. I leaned into him while I thrusted and took his mouth in mine , he pulled his lips away and pressed them against my ear

"I love you, I always have" he whispered delicately in a weak voice.

It was all that it took, I could feel myself explode inside of him the warmth filling him and surrounding us both. I had never felt a better orgasm at any time, inside the man that I had loved and it was the best feeling any one person could have experienced. Once I could no longer feel my member jumping around inside Lawliet I slowly removed my length from inside of him being careful not to cause him any stress or hurt. Once the cold air hit me as I threw the blanket aside I collapsed to the mattress along side my lover. It didn't matter that there was sweat, saliva and semen under us, between us, on us, we had been together for the first time and it was as I suspected it would be, it was perfect.

I pulled my very weak boyfriend towards me and rested him on my chest, I could feel is body trembling beside me, it wasn't from the cold it was from the intensity. It was probably going to be the same for me when it came for my turn. I held him close to me, soft slow tears trickled down his face and dripped onto the naked flesh of my chest. I raised his head so I could see if he was alright

"They are happy one's Light, I am alright, just…tired" he said

I had never heard him say that he was tired, did he actually know what being tired felt like since he never slept?. I decided to help him to the bathroom and into the shower so we could both get cleaned up, I would change the bed linens and I would lie with him until he fell asleep, it had seemed I had finally found a way to get him to sleep. I was worried that he was hurting, I was worried that he had been completely traumatized, it felt so good but if I had caused him any damage I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. I gently pulled him off of the mattress and helped him to walk to the bathroom adjacent from our bedroom, I turned on the hot and the cold tap and waited for the water to respond.

"Hey look at me" I said to him softly, he was right, he was tired I could see it in his eyes.

"You don't ever have to do that again if you don't want to Lawliet, I don't ever want to hurt you"

I said to him and held him close to me, I had never felt him so flaccid before, even after our fight the whole time he held me up and took care of me even though he was hurting too. The least I could do was the same thing for him, I wanted to take care of him, I didn't want him to be hurting.

"Does it hurt?" I asked him

He shook his head

"No, I am 99% shocked that all it did was feel good, I promise you Light I am not in pain at all. I am just tired and think I would like to sleep, alongside you"

That's my Lawliet, even in exhaustion he had to state his percentages.

"Alright, well I will get you cleaned up and I will make our bed and then we can sleep, for as long as you like. It be interested to see what you will look like without those panda eyes" I said

"Like me without panda eyes I suppose" he replied

I shook my head and smiled. He had seemed to have gained a sense of humor since I had become jealous over what he had done to my fingers with his mouth. It was if after being with me something had awaken inside of him, he seemed a lot less lifeless and much more happier.

I had helped him into the shower and helped wash away everything that was still stuck to him. He had been swaying whilst I held him up, he was going to fall asleep at any minute. I quickly washed myself off and turned off the shower. I grabbed two towels and dried off his hair, wrapping him with it once his hair was dry, still trying to hold him up I tried to get myself dried as best as I could.

"Do you want some clothes?" I asked him

"Maybe just some pants, sleeping pants"

I knew he didn't own any himself so I pulled out two pairs of mine from the wardrobe, one for him and one for me. I held out the pants to him.

"I am just going to make the bed, you put your pants on and try not to fall asleep ok, I will do it was quickly as possible"

I held onto him until I was sure he was going to be able to stand on his own two feet without collapsing. He pulled one of the legs on and then the other and pulled them up around his waist. I did the same before removing the sheets and quilt from off the bed and replaced it with some brand new ones. Lawliet had been slightly wobbly, I threw on the clean quilt and helped him onto the bed. He crawled over to his side and as soon as his head hit the pillow, he had fallen asleep. I spooned him from behind, holding him close to me as I closed my eyes and breathed deeply with him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi all (that is my whole 2 followers lol) ^.^ just a quick heads up that I have started to write in Near, Mello and Matt, however for the purposes of this Fanfic they are only 8,9 and 10. You will see why much later :)**

I had woken up several times that night to see if he was still there, I could feel his body next to mine but it would have been easy for him to get up without me noticing and shoving a pillow in his place. He was always exceptionally quiet when he moved around which is why if nobody was expecting it he could suddenly sneak up on someone and say something which would cause the person to jump or nearly die of a heart attack. But he had been there the whole time.

The sun had begun filling up the room, I had winced my eyes shut as tightly as possible but the sun was unbelievably bright

"Law—"

"LIGHT!" I heard the high pitched voice before my eyes focused on the shadowy figure in front of me. It had been Misa.

"Oh Light I can't believe your still in bed your such a sleepy head, but I guess that means that I can climb into bed with you for a snuggle"

I quickly moved, so much so that I rather fell out of the bed instead of climbing out of bed, then I realized I had only been wearing sleep pants, I quickly searched the floor for one of the shirts Lawliet and I had taken off last night, I grabbed his first so I put it on

"Light you're so silly that's Ryuzaki's shirt not yours"

"What is you want Misa?"

I was going to have to be nicer to her even if I had to flirt with her a little I needed to get her Death Note and burn it.

"Hmm, well Light you haven't asked me to kill anyone lately so I thought I would come ask you why, you have your phone switched off, you have lost it again haven't you silly lighty-mighty?"

She had been the most nostalgic and annoying person I had ever met and I found it hard to tolerate her. How on earth did she get in anyway? and where was Lawliet? I had to make sure he was still alright after last night.

"Misa did you see Law I mean L when you came in?"

"Mm-hm he is out there sitting like weirdo reading something, he is such a perv you should have seen the glare he gave me when he let me in" she replied

I never thought of Lawliet being a jealous type, it was rather amusing, He didn't glare at people he looked and sometimes stared in puzzlement but never shot a glare at anyone

"Misa, you would do anything for me right?" I asked

"Yes of course, what do you want me to do, kill L?"

I suddenly went into a panic, oh shit, that's right I had completely forgot the Shinigami eyes, she already knew his real name and life span

"No, no don't do that, I need to you to come with me and we are going to burn the Death Note, do you have it on you?"

"Of course"

She reached into her shirt and pulled out the black note book with white writing on it which I had assumed was some kind of language that the Shinigami used. It had been quite some time since I had seen my Shinigami Ryuk and I couldn't see Rem anywhere so I could only assume they had some important Shinigami things to do, but now I had burnt my Death Note I had doubted I would even be able to see him now anyway.

"Great come with me, please" I held out my hand and she blushed as she took it. I led her out of the room and into the lounge room where Lawliet was sitting, reading well rather pretending to read. I turned my head to look at him and winked, it had made him gently smile.

"Ok throw it in"

The electronic fire had be burning off and on for the last few days, it had started coming in cold.

"But Light why exactly am I burning this?"

I placed my finger against my lip; gesturing her to be quiet I couldn't let her catch on the Lawliet knew everything.

"Do you want Ryuzaki to have us killed?" I whispered to her, she was never too bright so I could see this working

"Of course not!" she yelled

"Then place the Death Note in the fire and walk away from it" I said in a stricter tone, she had thrown it in and I smiled as it went up in blue flames, I knew she no longer had her Shinigami powers

"Hey perv, why don't you take a picture it might last longer" she turned and said to Lawliet who had his face completely covered with the book so it had been impossible for him to even be looking

Now that both Death Notes were gone, I was going to be able to get rid of Misa from my life for good.

"Misa you need to go now and never come back, I don't want to see you again, do you understand" I said harshly

"Ha, but WHY!" she cried

"Misa I am not in love with you, I never have been and you were aware of that, I could never be in love with you because I am in love with Ryuzaki, I have been for a while now. He is who I want to be with" I said calmly and as nicely as possible

"But you're a man"

"Yes" I replied

"And he's a man"

"Yes"

"So that means you're – Homophobias!" she yelled

I felt like slapping myself in the face, even Lawliet had lowered his book and looked at her in an amused shock. Was she actual serious? Could she possibly be that dimwitted?

"Homosexuals" I replied to her

"Yeah whatever! I don't believe it, I don't believe that you two are Homophobia's, there is no way your too good looking Light and he is just a pervy weirdo THIS CAN'T BE TRUE!" She yelled again stamping her feet and flailing her arms about.

I looked at Lawliet who had looked like he had seen a car accident; he couldn't quite believe Misa's stupidity either. I left Misa's side and walked over to Lawliet who had placed the book down on the couch; I stopped in front of him and turned around back to face Misa.

"I don't know why it is so hard for you to believe that it is Ryuzaki that I love, but since I am sure you won't leave until you have proof I will show you proof"

I turned back around to Lawliet and I dropped to my knees, I was slightly shorter than him since he was in his typical crouched sitting position. I placed my hands on his cheeks and pulled him in close to me.

"Are you alright?" I asked him

"I have never felt better" he replied

I took his lips with mine and I kissed him passionately, he placed his arms around my sides and held me tightly. I could feel her eyes on us; she was not happy and now that the Death Notes had been destroyed there was no way for her to kill either of us. We pulled our lips apart so we could take in some air, I rested my forehead against his chest and listened to the heart erratically beat in his chest, oh yeah, he was feeling fine.

"I AM SO MAD RIGHT NOW! HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME THAT YOU AND RYUZAKI WERE TOGETHER, HOW COULD YOU STRING ME ALONG LIKE THAT! I HATE YOU SO MUCH, YOU WILL PAY FOR IT" she shouted

I turned to face her

"I had told you from the beginning, when we first met, that I would pretend to be your boyfriend, you knew damn well I didn't love you"

"YEAH- YEAH WELL YOU- YOU SUCK!" she yelled again before storming out of the room and out of the building, slamming the door behind her.

"Well that was pleasant" Lawliet replied

"I feel like a very annoying weight has been lifted off my shoulders, just one more demon to fight and I think I am done fighting demons for a while" I got off of the floor and sat beside Lawliet, I picked up the book he was reading, rather pretending to read, and read the title. I smiled when I realized what it was, I opened up to the exact page he was looking it.

Matsuda had this idea of taking photos of all of us so that he could make some scrapbook of the task force that caught Kira. We had been completely unaware of this of course so when he had taken the photo, not only were Lawliet and I cuffed together but it had somehow looked as I had my hand in his lap, which in actual fact I was picking up a pen I had dropped and Lawliet had a mouth full of cake so it had looked like he was in completely paradise. Lawliet ended up stealing the photo once it was processed had had stuck it in Hamlet by William Shakespeare, the only book I had actually ever seen him read. He had been looking at that photo even before I was rudely awakened.

"I can't believe you still have this tucked away in here" I smiled and closed the book again

"Well at least I know that is safe and that no one else has any suspicion it is there"

It was only when I had looked back at him that I had realized the dark lines under his eyes had somewhat faded, they were so much lighter and he looked so different. Not less or more attractive, just more alive and his skin had looked a lot less pale to.

"When did you wake up this morning?" I asked him, completely mesmerized

"Before the sun was up, I have been contemplating something" he said almost shyly

"What is Lawliet, is everything alright?" I was somewhat concerned, what if after last night he had decided it wasn't what he wanted after all?

"Yes, everything is fine. I had been taking into consideration what you had said yesterday, about informing your parents about our relationship, I think that perhaps I should be informing those to whom I consider to be the closest thing I have to family. Watari and some of the people at Wammy house" he said

Wammy House had been an orphanage for gifted children that Watari had been in charge of, Lawliet had lived there for five years and whilst it was all the way in England he had a lot of people there who cherished him just as much as I did, including three of the most irritating children I had ever met, however they were important to Lawliet so I had accepted them. I had first met the terrible three just after I had met Lawliet it was surprising really, I could have never pictured him as being a parent , he was far too childish himself but when those boys were around it was like seeing him in a completely different light, when the eight, nine and ten year old were in his presence he seemed to have an everlasting smile, until they began fighting and he looked like a terrified deer about to be hit with a truck, that was when I took over. Even though Lawliet and I weren't together at the time when I first met the brats, I could still feel my heart flutter when I found him leaning against a door frame, with a soft smile on his face, his arms crossed in front of his chest and one leg crossed over the other, I guess at that time there was no need for his deductive skills.

"You mean the boys?" I asked him

"That is where I am having the problem, you know better than anyone that I am quite fond of Near, Mello and Matt however although highly intelligent I am concerned that they will simply not be able to process what, if I chose to tell them, I was saying to them"

When I saw those three boys it was like looking through a time capsule each of them were so much like Lawliet in their own way that I had honestly wondered if they were not somehow related. Even though Lawliet had left England and the orphanage to come to Japan and work as a detective with the guidance of Watari, he still made sure that he visited the boys when ever he could. They had arrived just before Lawliet had decided to leave but before he did he formed great bonds with all of them even though the youngest was only three when Lawliet left.

Near, age eight, had looked like a miniature Lawliet, although his hair was snow white rather than jet black, he was splitting image other than that, the same messy hair, the wide large dark grey eyes, even his posture and the way he sat was exactly the same, he was the youngest and yet the most intelligent. He was exactly like the man I had fallen in love with, although instead of chewing on his thumb, Near played with his mop like hair. Watching Near and Lawliet play chess or even a simple game of Scrabble was like watching an ultimate fight of intelligence, they adored each other but because they were both so competitive and Near being a child and Lawliet having a childish nature it often called for a referee, anyone could swear they were father and son, if not at least siblings.

Mello, the middle child, nine years old looked a lot more innocent then he was, a sweet looking blonde haired, brown eyed boy who had an avid love for sweets, chocolate in particular and when he and Lawliet were taken out in public it is like looking after a pair of spoiled brats, they rush to anywhere that sells anything sugary and Lawliet will spoil him to his heart's content with chocolate. He is however different than other two children and Lawliet because he is extremely social, the poor kid would strike up a conversation with a lamp post if there was no one else around, you can also guarantee that where there is Mello there is Matt, it had somewhat embarrassed me the last time that I had seen them when my father had said that it was like looking at miniature versions of Me and Ryuzaki, Mello and Matt were attached at the hip most of the time and somehow he had compared that to us.

Matt was the eldest and the least smartest but what he lacked in book smarts he had in technology smarts, the ten year old red-brown haired dark blue eyed boy knew technology like the back of his hand, if anything was broke he could fix it and he could hack into even the most secretive files at ten he had all the potential of becoming the world's other greatest detective, anything that was a secret Matt would find it out. Although he would have a lot more potential if he didn't wear those stupid orange goggles and with his day consisting mostly of gaming. Even for a child he has a dry sense of humor; it was hard to tell if he was serious or joking which was Lawliet all over. The last time I had gone out with Lawliet and the boys and Matt had begged me to take him to the newest gaming store I had been told what a beautiful son I had although it created an unusual feeling with in me, I did also feel proud, if someone were going to connect me to any of the brats I was glad it was Matt.

"You do realize that even if you don't tell them, they would have a find a way of working out what was going on between us, especially Matt, if he caught onto the something being different then it was last time don't you think he would encourage the other two to push for answers?" I said

"Do you think that they would understand though, I mean do you think they could grasp the concept of you and I being in a relationship that is supposed to be typical of a man and a woman and not two males?" he asked me

I shrugged my shoulders

"They are smart boys Law' Whether you decide to tell them or not I think they will have a way of finding out that their Idol is in love with the guy they call Mamma L"

It had been Mello that had started calling me Mamma L, Lawliet and I had always been friends and we did spend a lot of time together, we worked to together and since we were each others only friend we hung out a lot socially to so whenever the kids visited here I would typically be around, mostly at the request of Lawliet. Once Mello had started calling me Mamma L the other to followed suit, I had already had a sneaking suspicion that mine and Lawliet's relationship was not a typical friendship and there was going to be something more to us in the future. It had only really bothered me in the beginning, but somehow I learned to grow accustomed to it if they didn't call me Mamma L, then I knew something wasn't right with the cheeky brats.

"Hmm I suppose you right in assuming that, there is a 94% chance that, if they to see us now they would notice a difference in the way he had behaved around each other" he replied

"Would it be a great difference though?" I sat back against the back rest and thought about it

"What exactly do you mean?"

"Well think about it, how much different were we around each other before we were lovers to how we are with each other now, if you took away the kissing and the sex wouldn't it be very much similar to how we were before. I mean both of knew we loved each other, even back then and even though we hadn't expressed it we still acted towards each other as is our love was apparent, why else would have Mello started the Daddy and Mamma L pet names for us, perhaps without knowing it we were already acting like a couple without the physical part, we were and are best friends in love with each other, just now we express our love openly instead of silently"

"That's rather interesting, and perhaps you are correct, subconsciously we had already been acting like two people in love with each other even though there had been no verbal agreement about how we had felt towards one other, even though we were just friends when the boys last visited maybe they saw something between us that we were just being ignorant to"

"Exactly" I replied

Lawliet placed his thumb against his bottom lip, he was processing the discussion in his mind, and he was trying to think back to when the kids were last here and trying to remember how we had been with each other. I looked down at my watch is was nearing lunch time it wouldn't be long before Lawliet would be craving something sweet and I had to go speak to my parents.

"Would you like some privacy to speak to Watari? I have to go and speak with my parents anyway. I know you had said they you would come with me but I think it would be most comfortable for you if you spoke to Watari alone and the last thing I want is anything to happen to you if my father happens to become angry"

I wasn't sure how my parents were going to react but my father had a temper on him, he could become easily angry as he could become easily happy and whilst I had never seen him act out in violence, I didn't know if breaking the news that I was in a relationship with Lawliet, who he knew as Ryuzaki was going to be reason for an outburst

"In saying that Light, I am concerned about your well being, if anything should happen to you I –" I stole his words with a kiss I didn't want him to be worried or scared even, I could tell that he was by the look in his eyes. My father was the chief of police and as a cop he did have a lot of aggression that had built up over the years, I was worried that this may make him lash out, but I had been prepared for it. Regardless of what he would say, my life was with Lawliet now

I pulled my lips away from his, I could have sworn I felt a warm tear resting against my cheek, just the thought of anything happening to him hurt, it was a ball of fear I had with in me, what if my father did lose the plot and resorted in something drastic? what if even though she was a brat Misa was serious about her threat? What if I lost him? It hurt to feel like that, to think like that. I could have been the one that ended up hurting him , and I hated that, I hated it so much I wanted to cut my own heart out and hand it to him on a big silver platter just so he knew that while Kira and I shared the same body, I don't think I was Kira, I couldn't have done anything to the panda-eyed detective, I couldn't have he meant too much to me even before I made love to him, even before I admitted that I loved him.

"I won't let anyone hurt you" I replied to him, I could even feel the choke in my voice; I tried to cover up the pain I had aching in my heart.

"Light" he said and wiped the tear off of my cheek

"I would kill for you" he continued and found my mouth with his again.

Did he really mean it? if it went horribly bad would Lawliet resort in violence? I couldn't believe it for a second. I knew him and despite the fact we had turned to violence on each other before I couldn't see him acting out on someone else, did he really love me that much? Had the previous night woken something inside of him? Had making love to him been the physical proof that above anyone else he mattered most to me? It was a beautiful and yet frightening thought. I stood up and began to walk away from him; this was going to be one of the hardest things I had ever had to do, tell my parents that their so called perfect son was completely devoted to a man, not just any man but Lawliet. I was completely captivated by the world's greatest detective and nothing, or no one was going to stop me, if he was prepared to kill for me, I was prepared to kill for him and if worse came to worst I would have no hesitations, at the moment it was us verses the rest of the world and we were a force not to be reckoned with.


	7. Chapter 7

**Big hello to my new follower Neyla96 thankyou for your support ^.^ and also I had only just realized that Yagami backwards is Im a gay :O SHOCKED but eeeeee :D CAN'T BELIEVE IT **

I had been nervous from the moment I had my hand on the door knob and turning it. I could hear soft cheerful voices inside so I knew that my mother and father were in a good mood, it could have been detrimental to how this day was going to turn out. I had left Lawliet at home with Watari so that he could talk to him and I was going to talk to my parents about what was going on between Lawliet and myself. I swallowed hard and wiped the sweat from off my forehead with the sleeve of my jacket. I breathed deeply and slowly and opened the door, as soon as they heard the door creak my mother and father had jumped up to see who it was. I had always made myself presentable when visiting my parents, I always wore a suit and tie and always made sure my shoes were shiny, it was my way of showing them respect.

"Light? Your early, have you decided to have lunch with us instead?" My father asked taking a seat back down at the dining table

"Oh yeah I guess so, I actually came here because I needed to talk you both about something that is rather important to me" I said, I fiddled with the bottom of my red tie for a brief moment before letting it go and looking at my wide eyed parents from across the table.

"What is it son, is it the Kira case?" My father asked

"No not at all, in fact I think L—Ryuzaki is disbanding the task force"

"He doesn't want to catch Kira anymore?" my father asked in shock, I had become slightly frustrated

"No it's not that please dad I didn't come here to talk about work, well it has partly something to do with work but please hear me out" I begged

Both my mother and father simply nodded in response

"The three of us have spoken many times about my future, we have spoken about studying and work and now that I have a job, I have my own place and I finished all my studies with top marks, I had been thinking more about my social future, rather my romantic future. I know that you have both probably pictured my wife in your heads thousands of times, someone with a great education, a great job, the ability to bare grandchildren, but the truth is that isn't going to happen for me"

"Light, honey what do you mean?" My mother asked concerned

"I mean that for me there will be no wife and there will be no children born with my genes, I am not in love with a woman, nor will I ever be" I said quietly

"Light? Are you trying to tell us that your g—"

"Yes, I am gay and I am in a relationship with someone" I finished off my father's sentence

My mother was in shock and my father, my father was pissed off I could see the rage boiling inside him.

"Light had you lost you fucking mind! You cannot be serious about this, it's normal, you know it's normal to get crushes sometimes but you CAN NOT and WILL NOT have a relationship with a man" My father growled through clench teeth

"Say what you will dad but this isn't some crush, it isn't some temporary state of mind and before you accuse him of brainwashing me it was I who had made the first move, I am in love with him and there is nothing anyone can do to prevent that. I came here to tell you out of respect"

"WHO IS HE? WHO IS THIS HOMOSEXUAL YOU HAVE BEEN POISONED INTO BEING INVOLVED WITH?" he had bellowed loudly

"Ryuzaki and he has not poisoned me, I had asked him to love me not the other way round. Whether you like it or not I love him and he loves me and if you don't like it then that is your choice, but it is my choice to be with him"

"YOU ARE NO SON OF MINE, HE IS MAN, A MAD MAN AT THAT, DO YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE YOU CAN HAVE A FUTURE WITH HIM, DO YOU HONESTLY THINK THIS IS GOING TO WORK OUT?" he continued to yell

"Yes, I have all the faith in myself and in him that it will work out" I replied

Perhaps I had been rude or too cocky but whatever it was had made him mad enough to plant his fist into my face hard enough for something to crack. I felt the pain instantly and the blood started to run from my nose. My mother helpless walked away from the situation and my father stood above me breathing heavy and loud

"You are not welcome back here ever, do you understand? We are not interested in your betrayal to God and we are not interested in knowing your disgusting life. I don't want anything to do with you, him or the Kira case, Stay away from us Light, in fact you can strip yourself of your last name, you are not fit to be a Yagami. I never want to see you or that freak every again"

"Say what you like about me but you will not insult him, I do not plan on returning and just so you know before you kick me out of your life for good, he made me see something that you never did, he made me see that I was good enough that I didn't have to be perfect, I never will have to be again"

I felt a sharp pain in my side, I had been kicked hard. My own father had literally kicked me out of his home and demanded that I never return. Perhaps one day he would come around and learn to accept that his son wasn't perfect, I didn't know and I didn't care I just wanted to get back home to Lawliet, the only person I could trust and who truly loved me. I was in pain, I could feel the blood trickling from my nose and leaking into my mouth. I could have defended myself but I still had too much respect for my father to lay a hand on him but if he had planned on coming in between Lawliet and I, I was not going to hold back. I had a future with Lawliet, that I was sure of. Sure we weren't the traditional couple but we had loved each other unconditionally. I closed my eyes and pictured his lips on mine, I tried to remember what it felt like to be inside him, to cum my love inside him. I tried to smell his skin and taste his flesh just so I could take my mind off of the pain, even if for a brief second. I opened my eyes again and suddenly felt a little better. I had walked the seventeen blocks back to Lawliet's home, our home now I guess. It was a struggle to fish out for my key card that would let myself back in and climb the huge flight of stairs before reaching the front door. I never quiet understood why he felt he needed such a large building for both the headquarters and his home but never the less, this was home. My small one bedroom apartment would make a great place for storing items so I would still keep it. I could smell cake wafting through the air, it had been freshly baked. I knew that Lawliet would be in there eating his cake even though it would be far too hot, I smiled at the thought. I loved him so much. I pushed open the door, the sound of the door creaking made Lawliet turn his head towards me, as soon as he saw me he threw down the plate of cake and rushed to my side. He wrapped his arms around me and I collapsed into him. I tried to steady my breathing and I tried not to cry, I never cried and I couldn't start now, I didn't want him to think I was weak.

"Watari, could you please get me some iced water and a towel" I heard Lawliet cry out to his caregiver.

I wasn't exactly sure where the strength had come from, perhaps adrenaline but I felt him scoop me up in his arms and carry me to the couch, my body flopped over his stretched out arms. He laid me down on the couch and lifted up my head to rest on his lap. Watari had rushed back with the ice water and the towel, my eyes rolled open to watch Lawliet dampen the towel and placed it over my nose where I had been hit with a great force. He stroked my hair with gently thin fingers. I could see his eyes, he was completely mortified, heartbroken he had felt guilty. He had nothing to feel guilty for, this was not his doing.

"Hey are you with me, Light? Can you hear me?" He said to me gently. I softly nodded against his legs.

"Should I call for a doctor?" Watari asked Lawliet

"Yes please I think he may have a broken nose" Lawliet replied

Watari disappeared out of the room

A broken nose? I suppose the punch had been backed up with such force and I did hear that crack.

"I only have you left now, please don't break my heart Lawliet" I managed to say with a coarse, crackled voice. I had fallen asleep there and then.

X

I had woken up to the sounds of voices in the room, the only one I could pick out was Lawliet's. His voice was different though, it was stronger, his pitch wasn't the usual monotone but with a lot of anger and sadness pushing it out of him. The words had all sounded muffled but his tone was of complete concern, I wasn't sure who he was speaking with but I had prayed it wasn't my father, I would hate for what happened to me happen to him, in fact if this had happened to him at any time in the future I would not hesitate to go to the extreme. I placed my palms on the mattress and pushed myself up. I placed my hand against my face as I sat up, it had hurt like hell. Lawliet rushed to my side. I couldn't think, I couldn't do anything except just kiss him. I focused on his face and pressed my lips against his, as much as it hurt I didn't care I needed to taste him just so I knew he was really still there. He mouth kissed me back. He pulled away and rested his palm against my cheek.

"I am so sorry Light, This is unforgivable what he has done to you, if it weren't for me then—"

"If it weren't for you I wouldn't have realized today how much I really need you and how much I want you in my life. I don't want to live my life without you sweetheart, I love you" I replied

I had felt bad for what I had said to him before I had passed out, I had sounded as if I was sure that he was going to break my heart but it was impossible, he was the one who had always mended it from the very first day we met, every time I had a doubt, every time I was frustrated or pissed off, every time I needed advice or just needed someone to hear me out, he was always there. He had never left my side when I needed him , he had given me a friendship and a love that I was not worthy of, and even now feeling sorry for myself he was there even after I said something that wasn't exactly very nice before I had passed out and he had welcomed me back with a warm and loving kiss, I couldn't ask for anything more.

Lawliet blushed, and brushed his lips against mine again.

"I love you too Light, I will always love you" he replied sweetly

"Light the is Doctor Hiromisha, he is going to look at your nose and your ribs and see what kind of damage has been done and then whatever you want to do after that we will do ok, if there is anywhere you want to go or anyone you want to see we will go ok. I won't let you do anything alone again"

I lied back down again so I was flat on my back.

The doctor had come close to my face and looked at my nose thoroughly. He smelt like moth balls and I was sure that he had one or two teeth missing. He pressed my nose with a finger on his glove covered hand, I winced in pain and he nodded his head and looked up to Lawliet.

"His nose is most defiantly broken"

"Mr. Yagami, I am going to lower the quilt and then lift up your shirt so I can check out the damage to your torso"

I shook my head

"Here let me" Lawliet replied, his hands grabbed the quilt and pulled it down past my waist and he rested in just above my crotch. His hands ran up my shirt and he pushed it up so that my bare torso was exposed. The doctor looked over me again and pressed the same finger into my flesh. It hadn't hurt as much as my nose but it was still tender.

"His ribs are severely bruised but none seem to be broken. Keep some ice on his nose for at least the next hour, and don't let him to do any heavy lifting. His ribs will heal soon, his nose however will be permanently broken unless cosmetic surgery is an option, he will need to take two of these to help with the pain"

He handed Lawliet a small white bottle of what I assumed were pain killers. He opened the cap and took two of the small round white tablets out and rested them on his palm

"Thank you doctor, Watari will show you out" Lawliet replied and turned his attention back to me, he lowered my shirt back down and folded the quilt back up to my neck.

He handed me the pills, I shook my hand and instead just opened my mouth slightly. He placed the tablets on my tongue and I swallowed them without water

"When you passed out on my lap I had thought I had lost you, I didn't even get to tell you that I would never break your heart" He said with sadness caught in his throat. He sounded so different, his voice was just so full of emotion and love.

"I am not a Yagami anymore" I whispered to him

"When the doctor called me Mr. Yagami that is why I shook my head, not because I didn't want him to lift up my shirt, though I am glad that's how it was read, that guy smelt like mothballs"

Lawliet smiled

"Hmm I see, this must be one of those situations called stroke of coincidence" He said

I had to admit, I was confused I had no idea what he was talking about

"Whilst you were gone I had spoken with Watari and it seems our relationship is not an issue for him, he has accepted us as a couple, and while I was speaking with him I had made a decision. I had two scenarios in my head, one was your parents would be just as accepting and you would return at some point unscathed, the other was that they wouldn't accept it, although I hadn't anticipated you coming home with a broken nose and bruised ribs, I had made a decision that I hope you will agree with, in the case they didn't accept the fact you were in a relationship with a man and not just a man but a mad one like me then I had planned on us becoming a family"

"Family?" I questioned him and I eased myself up, resting my back against the head board again, the truth was I had been much badly beaten than this before, Even when I had got into the brutal fight with Lawliet not that long ago, he had done more damage. But a lot to do with my injuries were emotional and Lawliet was doing everything to try and ease some of that pain.

"Light were you aware that they now recognize same sex couples as equals and they are able to do the same things heterosexual couples can do?" he asked me

"I had heard about some time ago, I mean at least an a year and a half ago, a while before I met you but I didn't exactly know what it entailed" I replied

"If you are serious when you say that you don't ever want to be without me as much as I am serious when I say I will love you forever then I had hoped that you would become my family by participating in a civil ceremony alongside me in which we would be categorized as legally being a part of each others lives" he said

I smiled at him and shook my head

"Lawliet, is this your peculiar way of asking me to marry you?" I asked him

He looked at me and just nodded, he was worried what I was going to say which is why he had dragged what he was trying to say out for as long as possible, after what had happened to me today there was only one way I could answer him, in a way that he could easily understand

"So would that make me Light Lawliet or is there another name I am not aware of yet?" I asked

"Well you could for name sakes be Light Lawliet, if the thought of sharing my name doesn't bother you or you could change your name to something else, in which case I have a joke about"

"A joke?" I raised an eyebrow up at him, I had never in the entire time heard Lawliet make a joke, he had only ever laughed once and his sense of humor was so dry it was hard to distinguish what was a joke and what was seriousness

"Mm, you could change your last name to switch, it would suit you because I can turn you on as easily as a real light switch"

It was possibly the lamest yet somehow cutest thing I had ever heard him say, he didn't smile he didn't make any facial expressions he just sat there looking at me.

"Your awfully cocky for someone who plans on torturing yourself by taking me to be your partner for the rest of our lives"

"Why would it be torture? If I can put up with you for a year and still love you with no second guessing I am sure I will have no problems putting up with you for the next fifty or so years. Just please do me a favor for me" he said

"You already know I won't say no"

"Please don't get hit anymore because of me, your face is much to pretty to be bloody and beaten"

"Hey this wasn't your fault Law' I wanted to do this myself, a part me already knew they wouldn't accept us and like I told them, It's my choice to love you and be with you and anyone who has a problem with my choice can take it up with me but it's never going to change how I feel about you, I would rather it be me bloody and beaten then you end up like this"

"Why wouldn't you let me share some of the hurt with you?"

"Because you don't deserve hurt Lawliet, you have been putting up with it your entire life, let me suffer for you for a little while, let me take on some of your pain so you don't have to carry the entire lot on your shoulders, I haven't had to deal with what you have growing up and your still hurting because I know there is three little people out there that you care a lot about who are probably going through exactly what you went through, so the least I could is take a beating because you're worth it, I could get beaten up a million more times and you will still be worth it"

"Your my family now Light and I won't take you getting hurt so easily, I will protect you. I had told you that I would kill for you and I meant it, if I knew that's why you truly wanted, nothing would stop me from doing what I had to do to protect my family. I know I am not much but I am the family you deserve"

"I think the boys should come stay with us for a while" I suddenly said without thinking.

"Do you really mean that?" he asked me with almost puppy dog eyes

"Yes I really mean that, they need family too Law' they can't grow up without knowing there are people that love them, they drive me up the fucking wall but they are part of our family too, it will be good for all of us"

Lawliet smiled a large happy grin at me. He moved closer to me and rested his arm over me creating a bridge over my torso and the other hand caressed my cheek. He leaned in and pressed his lips against mine. No matter how much my body was hurting my heart had felt like it was mending, I knew I had made him happy. I had secretly hoped the happiness would last at least a few days so that when I didn't feel like I had been hit by a bus he would make love to me.


	8. Chapter 8

**A big hello to Chellyisback thank you so much for your review I just read Chapter 7 again and I can't believe how many mistakes I made OMG, I guess that's my lesson never write when I am tired lol! Thank you for pointing them out ^.^ Thank you for your support x**

The smell of chocolate had woken me up, I had hoped that Lawliet wasn't eating in the bed again; he had done it once while we were chained together and I had woken up with melted chocolate and cream stuck to me. I opened my eyes, the daylight streaming through the blinds was harsh, I tried to shield it from my face with no prevail. It was only when I had sat up that I could see why I could smell chocolate.

"HE'S AWAKE!" the voice yelled loudly

"Mello?" I asked trying to focus my eyes on him. He was sitting in a small wooden chair, a bar of chocolate hanging from the left corner of his mouth and his right leg perched up on the seat, resting against his chest. I was surprised to see that Matt hadn't been sitting beside him

"Yeah" he replied

Mello or Mihael was an innocent looking boy, Blonde hair, blue eyes, dressed like every day was a funeral. He was always very clever however I had learned a lot about him when they last visited Lawliet, like L, he loved sweets especially chocolate and it had turned out this little boy had let a lot of his emotions rule over him, he had made a lot of decisions with his heart he had the potential to grow up to be doctor because he was intelligent, able to make quick decisions and also caring. He had an extremely bold personality in which he was never embarrassed by.

"How long have you been sitting there for?" I asked rubbing my head I threw the quilt off of me, I was in desperate need for the shower

He looked down at a thin black watch that he had been wearing the last time he was here too

"Three hours, fifteen minutes and twenty nine no thirty seconds" he said

He dropped his arm and looked back at me.

"You have been sitting there for three hours?" I asked him

"and sixteen minutes. Daddy L had said you were hurting so I wanted to come see if you were OK but you were sleeping so I thought if I sat here then I would be able to see if you were alright when you woke up and I wouldn't have to compete with Near and Matt for your undivided attention. What happened to you?"

I wasn't exactly sure whether to answer his questions or to ask him my own, how long had I been sleeping for? The Wammy House was is England so surely I had to been asleep for well over two days, what the hell kind of pain killers did that doctor give me?

"I was used as a means of someone letting out their frustration, or rather anger"

"Daddy L said it had been like you were hit by a bus" he said

"Yeah I guess so"

"How would you know what being hit by a bus felt like? Unless you had been hit by a bus before and knew for an absolutely certainty what being hit by bus had felt like, in which case I retract my question"

I shook my head

"Mello thank you for coming to sit with me, but I really need a shower"

"You didn't answer my question though?" He looked at me with upset eyes

"I promise I will answer your question when I come out of the shower OK?" I replied rubbing my head

He was a sweet kid but he was giving me a headache and driving my patience

"Hmm alright"

He got off the chair which I had no idea where it had come from and stood up, just as I hung my legs over the bed and went to sit up I felt a warm body against mine, a small one. Mello was hugging me. I smiled and placed my hand on top of head and hugged him in return

"I am glad you're alright, I don't want you to die" He whispered.

He had made me want to cry, before I could I loosen my grip and he pulled away and left the room still with the chocolate bar hanging out of his mouth. I hauled myself off the bed and dragged myself to the bathroom, the pain in my side had disappeared and it was only a very slight mild ache in my nose. I could hear joyful screams coming from the living room and then it fell silent after a few short moments; the kids had been excited about something. It was strange hearing children in the house especially three of them, I had no idea how to be a parent to them but I was going to try my hardest for them. None of the boys had family. They didn't have a mother or a father and because they were all extremely intelligent and special potential parents had found them too hard to understand or handle and always walked away with a less intelligent child than themselves. After Lawliet asking me to marry him I had realized how special and how necessary family was and I wanted Near, Mello and Matt to have a family too even if it were Lawliet and I.

I looked at myself in the mirror I had looked more pale the Lawliet. My skin was completely flushed of color, I was hungry and thirsty and had smelled like week old worn socks. My nose was still been bruised slightly and somewhat wider then it was typically, my father had certainly done a bang up job. I pulled the clothes off me quickly trying to get rid of some of the putrid smell. I threw them next to washing basket that had sat beside the door. I didn't fuss about picking them up and placing them in, I would do it once I was finished getting myself cleaned up. It had almost felt like forever since I had seen my dark haired dark eyed lover and I had wondered how he was doing.

I turned on the hot and cold taps and waited for the water to adjust to my desired temperature. I pulled the shower curtain across and stood under the water letting it first wash over my hair and face and then down my body. The warm water had felt like magic against my skin. It was strange but I hadn't felt this relaxed in what felt like years, the gentle patters of tempered water licking my body, falling to the tiled floor and running down the drain. I took a deep breath and dropped my shoulders. I looked down at my side where my father had kicked me, there was a light yellow and brown mark still embedded on my skin, it was a long large bruise. A reminder for me that my skin was fragile and bruised with even the less harmful of damages. I touched the bruise with my wet hand, it wasn't just because I had been kicked that was starting to bother me, it was because it was a kick from my father, did he really hate the idea of me being with a man that much that he had felt he needed to be violent towards me? I tried to shake the thought out of my head, after all he did tell me we were no longer family and I wasn't welcome in his or my mother's lives any longer. But there was something that still had hold of me. I pressed myself against the wall and I had suddenly begun to sob. It was hard to tell what were tears and what was water but as soon as I felt that ache in my heart I knew that I had begun to cry. I held my chest with my arms as I snaked them around myself. I could feel the pain escape my lips in saddened coughs and splutters.

"Hey come here" I suddenly heard with familiar arms wrapping around me. It was Lawliet.

He hadn't even cared that he was fully clothed; he must have heard my pain and just acted by doing what he thought was natural. I had stood in the rain with him plenty of times before and it had always felt like joy but this time even though it wasn't rain it was close to and all I could feel in my heart was anger and sadness towards the man who had beaten me because of how and who I loved.

Lawliet held me against him in a tight grip, I could feel his hair get soaked and brush against my cheek as he embraced me with strong arms, the same arms he had used to carry me from the front door to the couch when I had returned home from visiting my parents.

His white shirt had started to become see through. I nuzzled my face into his neck I hadn't felt his body against mine for what I had guessed was days and it had felt like I was touching him for the first time. The pain had started to disappear and the tears began to weaken I pulled my face away from his neck and looked into his eyes. He had been so strong for me, I had always felt I had to be the one to look after him but here he was protecting me, caring for me and looking after me. If he couldn't make it as the boy's father than nobody could. I forgot how different he looked when his hair was completely soaked and loose instead of the whimsical messy pricked up hairstyle he usually had. The darkness under his eyes had returned completely, he mustn't have slept at all since after the first night I made love to him. I didn't know how long had gone by since that night but it had been clear that my boyfriend, no fiancé had gone back into the usual insomniac he had always been.

I pressed my lips against his and I had felt like fireworks had exploded inside of me. His mouth was so warm and wet and filled with love and passion. He opened his mouth and I penetrated it with my tongue, tasting and indulging in the sweetness that surrounded it. I could feel his tongue press gently against mine, lovingly and tentatively brushing mine with his. I reached for his shirt and I gripped the wet heavy fabric with my hands, easing it from off his chest and back and pulling it up. Our mouths detached and I drew the shirt off over his head and dragged open the shower curtain and disposed of it on the floor. I closed the shower curtain again and found his mouth with mine. Then it occurred to me

"Who is looking after the kids?" I asked him pulling away from his mouth

"Watari took them to the new science center that opened up just outside the city, they have been begging to go there since they got here" he replied

I kissed him again more aggressively this time, more forcefully. I had been waiting for this for the last few days and I wasn't going to leave the bathroom without having him make love to me. I ran my hands down is bare wet torso and found the waist band of his jeans. I loosened the button on them and then the zip. I grabbed the waistband again and searched for the elastic of his underwear. Once I found it I pulled down with my hands and his clothes fell to the tiled floor. He bent his knees and dropped down to remove them from the floor so they wouldn't go to the drain and block it up. He tossed them outside the shower curtain and suddenly without warning took my member in his mouth. I hadn't been fully erect but the moment he made those seductive rolls with his tongue I grew inside his mouth. He licked and sucked on my length the way he did to my fingers when I went to stretch him before I had made love to him. I pressed my back hard into the wall and laced my fingers through his wet black hair. I began to pant heavily and moans escaped my mouth simultaneously as I whispered his name. He released my now fully erect manhood from his mouth and stood up to greet my face again. He grabbed my wrist gently and turned me around so that my cheek was resting against the wall and my back was facing him. He pressed his body lightly against my moist back. His length rubbing along the flesh of my backside. He surged his mouth against my ear

"Are you in any pain?" he asked me lovingly

"No not at all" I replied

"Stop me if you need me to" he whispered in return

He kissed the back of my neck and then the side, lapping up the water on my skin with his warm tongue. His arms wrapped around my hips and he grasped my member with a strong hand, tenderly and gently rubbing and pulling it making me nearly wail in pleasure. The water was acting like a lubricant so his hand was slippery and welcoming with every movement.

"Lawliet" I exhaled in a hard pant

He had made me feel like I was a giant pressure point, every touch, lick, stroke made my knees buckle. He removed his hand away from my manhood, I moaned in protest wanting more of his hand. But when I could feel the tip of his length resting against my entrance I suddenly stopped protesting. I could feel his heart beating hard against my back, he must have been so nervous and so worried that he was going to hurt me. I reached behind me and grasped his manhood and helped him ease it inside of me. The first pierce was incredibly painful. I tightened my lips so that a scream of pain wouldn't escape, how was he able to handle me when I did this to him, he was slightly bigger then I was but even with the water it had stung. I relaxed my body so that it wouldn't hurt so much. Once I relaxed I was able to help him guide more inside me and suddenly it had gone from painful to more pleasurable, his length finding that sweet spot inside of me that had made me want to cum straight away. I removed my hand once I was sure that he was able to take it from there, I slammed my palms against the wall and I moaned loudly.

"Do you want me to keep going? Do you need me to stop?" he asked

I turned my head so I was looking into his eyes. I didn't even need to say anything; he could see it in my amber pools. I was hungry for it, I needed it I wanted him to make me scream. He pressed his lips against mine, lips full of feverish want and desire. The arm around my hips tightened has he thrusted himself inside of me, slowly pulling himself out and then pushing it back in again. He pulled away from my mouth and he watched himself penetrate me, thrusting against my body, making me want to cum. It had made us both even more turned on.

"Ahh, I..I don't want to cum yet" I ended up yelling.

Lawliet pulled his hard throbbing member out of me. He turned me around so I was facing him again. He grabbed me in his arms and lifted me. He pressed my back against the wall and I wrapped my legs around his hips. He grabbed hold of his manhood and entered it inside me again. I had had no idea that he was this strong, I had seen what he was capable of but it was hard to believe the lanky, slender panda-eyed detective was able to do this and he was extraordinarily gentle too.

I swallowed his full length, I could feel myself wanting to cum again. I tangled my fingers in the wet black locks on his head, letting the thick wet strands slip in between and around each of my digits. He fastened his thrusts and they started to become much more intense and harder. I was going to lose my self at any moment, I never would have dreamed sex feeling this good. I was completely in awe over him. He started to pant deep and quickly, noises similar to growls caught in his throat and coming out as he exhaled

"Light, I am going to cum" he breathed out heavily

I could finally stop holding back, I had wanted to release myself the moment he was inside me but I wanted to hold out, I wanted to cum with him this time. His thrusts were strong now, much stronger than before, I could feel the heat rising off of him. My mouth was dry and my body was trembling from the pressure inside me, I couldn't take it any longer, it had felt too damned good. We had both screamed at the same time, I could feel his love spill inside of me and I had released mine on my stomach and some on his chest, the water washing it away instantly. He pulled his aching length out of me and slowly and carefully lowered me to my feet. I could feel the warmth escaping me and it ran freely down my legs. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him in close to me, I had felt exhausted, alive, happy, excited, completely in love.

"I love you" He whispered to me

"And I love you" I replied

He reached out for the taps and turned them off. We were both clean and I had no longer smelled like a nasty gym sock. He held my hand and helped me out of the shower. He dried me off with a towel and I had assisted to dry him off. Even after only a few days it had felt like I was falling in love with him all over again, it was like it was our first kiss and out first time together even though I was well aware that it wasn't.

We walked into the bedroom and we got dressed and groomed. Once we were both dressed I took him in my arms again and he rested his head against my chest. I had felt an intense amount of love from him.

"Mello was watching me sleep this morning, he said he was worried about me" I told him

"They all were, Mello just wanted to be the first to see you, to make sure that you weren't dying or anything drastic. I had tried explaining to him that you were going to be alright, that the wounds you had were going to heal but as expected he wanted to assure himself that you were in fact 100% living"

He loosened my arms around Lawliet. He looked at me and smiled a gentle but warming grin

"I didn't eat any cake the whole time you were lying there in that bed, I was worried about you especially since I hadn't heard your voice in three days, as much as I tried to convince them you were alright I had been silently frightened that you wouldn't be" he said

"I couldn't just die on you Law' after all you wouldn't be able to handle those three boys alone they would send you crazy—crazier within a week. That's why I am here so they can drive me fucking nuts instead of you. You're the one they go to when they want or need something and I am the one they go to when they feel like being annoying, and secretly, I am OK with that" I replied.

"Law'?"

"Hmm?"

"How long was I exactly out for?" I asked

"Three days, well to be fair it was more a case of two days and a half. I had put an end to the Kira case, and you got a few phone messages from Misa which were basically poorly sentenced death threats and I think that I have solved the infamous case of Jack the Ripper. Watari and I met the boys at the airport yesterday and since then we have been here, you really didn't miss out on much Light"

"You think you have solved the Jack the Ripper case?" I asked him curiously

"Mm well no I am 60% sure that I have solved it but I am yet to take some other evidence into consideration and it is possible that even though I had looked at each piece of evidence I have the sinking feeling I have over looked something" he replied

We already had a room set up for Near, Mello and Matt. Lawliet had made sure that there was room built on the same floor as his just for them when they come and stayed it was already well stocked with their favorite things and they each had their own beds. It had felt like a proper home with that bedroom there, even though it was mostly left unused. It seemed strange, the boys had always made me completely nuts when they were here but there was a part of me that felt they should have been here all the time, I knew that homosexual couples could adopt, and since Watari was the director of Wammy house I didn't have any doubt in my mind that they would grant us custody of the kids. I wasn't ready to be a father by any means but I knew it was the right time and the right thing to do, Lawliet was nearly thirty and had only just started living, if those kids was what made his life complete then I knew they needed to be here living with us. I pulled away from his arms and stood there looking at him

"I think we should adopt"

"The overlooked evidence?" he asked

I shook my head and looked at him like he was a crazy person

"No the kids, I think we should adopt them. I mean we already live together, we are getting married and they love it here, they love you and they deserve a family who can look after and love them. They trust us more than anyone else and they think the world of you. I honestly think they should stay" I said

"Light, I know they deserve a family and I love them too and I know even just a part of you does too but aren't you even bit in the slightest concerned that they will feel embarrassed about having two fathers, they wouldn't be like regular kids"

"They aren't regular kids anyway, you know that. They are super intelligent, confusing, annoying, loud, take things too literally kids who are loved by two people who are also far from regular. I am not going to force you to adopt them if you don't want to but I think they will love being here and more than just a part of me loves them, they have been our kids even when we weren't in a relationship, even when we were just friends they were still our kids"

"Wont they cause a disruption in your mental well being, wont they drive you insane?" he asked

"So what if they do, they're kids they are supposed to do that to their parents. I know I am probably the last person that should be having kids given my past but I do know I can be a far better father then mine was. I know how not to raise and treat kids, no matter how old they are" I said

"Well I don't believe I have any other concerns, as long as you are completely sure about this then I don't see why we couldn't be their parents. Although I do have some doubts about being a father I have no reservations that if any dramas do arise we will be able to constructively get them sorted together" he replied

It hadn't been that long ago since we had even decided to be together in a relationship, things had been moving along rather quickly but I didn't want to waste time, I didn't want there to be a window of opportunity for something to come in and strip me away of everything that I had gained in the short time. I had gone from best friend to lover and now to parent in such a short gap but it didn't bother me, I wasn't worried or concerned I knew what I wanted and I was going to have it, come hell or high water, things were going to be great for both me and Lawliet, we both deserved it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi everyone, First big hello to my new follower AdventureRegularTimeShow thank you** **for your** **support ^.^ , second just wanted to let you know there is a big surprise coming up shortly (can't tell you for definite which chapter) but it something I hadn't even thought about 'til last night while I should have been sleeping, it even shocked me lol, thirdly I realize I have written a lot of scenes with plenty of lemons, I have been a bit less over the top in this chapter but please feel free to let me know if you would like more or less x Quinn**

Time seemed to fly by once we were in the lounge room, formally the conference room. I had been sitting on the floor reading and Lawliet had been sitting behind me on the couch fiddling with my hair while he examined photographs from the Jack the Ripper case, I almost didn't believe him that he wanted to solve a case that was well over a hundred years ago but he seemed so content, being a detective was what he was good at, everything else was just second to him. He was the best detective the world had to offer and the fact he had to resort looking into old crimes because of the lack of work must have been heartbreaking, I couldn't help but blame myself for that, if I hadn't been Kira an hadn't killed off all those criminals perhaps they wouldn't be so afraid to commit crimes and Law' would have a job again. Long before they reached the door I could hear the sound of arguing, judging by the voices it was Near and Matt.

"Here comes the cavalry" I said closing my book and placing it on the table.

Lawliet packed the photos up into a yellow folder and got up and placed the folder in the draw in the computer desk, the last thing he wanted was the boys to find the murder photos and be completely terrified by them. He came back to the couch and sat behind me again, he pulled my hair gently but firmly enough to make my head tilt back, he planted an indulgent kiss on my forehead.

"Thank you Light" he said softly, I smiled at him sweetly

"Your lack of intelligence is making me want to go into a coma where your voice and your nonsense would be inaudible" I could hear Near say as the boys and Watari entered the room. I turned to the noise and to raise my eyebrow at Near.

Near, or Nate, had been the most intelligent and the youngest of the three boys, he had a ghost like appearance and like Lawliet had a monotone voice. It was almost frightening how much he was like Lawliet; anyone would have assumed they were related. He was always so calm and rational with an obsession with using toys like a visual display of his theories. I had seen him countless times spend hours creating buildings with dice and sometimes even playing cards. But despite his innocent appearance he was also the sneakiest. The fact he was arguing with Matt was no surprise, Matt had been the least intelligent and also the eldest but he was a genius with technology, he dressed like some sort of retro pilot and even though most of the time his attention was on his latest game station he was rather observant and took in everything that was going on around him like a sponge. He cared more about the people that were closest to him rather than what the rest of the world was doing. He was the most ingenious computer hacker. He was however a trouble maker and purposely started arguments because he liked to see how easily people could be stirred up.

"I would love it if you were in a coma, that way I could suffocate you in your sleep"

"MATT!" Lawliet and I yelled at the same time

It wasn't unusual to hear any of them talk like that. After many years with only each other for company, and there being an odd number meant that at some point there was always two pitted against one, more often Mello and Matt were fighting Near, it never bothered him he defiantly had the capability to hold his own. They had done everything from hit, yell and even make death threats to one another but if another child had picked on any of them there was a 100% guarantee that child would never make the mistake of doing it again, they were like true brothers and as much as the fought they adored and loved each other and I had no doubt they would grow up to protect their brothers at all costs.

"See what happens when you waste your breath making pathetic death threats, Now if you have finished acting like a child I would like to go and talk to our L's" Near said in response.

Every time I looked at him I saw Lawliet, I had to admit even I could have sworn that Near was L's biological son, but I knew what an impossibility that had been.

"Watari could I have a word with you please before you return to your room?" Lawliet asked the elderly man

"Yes of course" he replied.

Lawliet stood up and walked to the grey haired man and escorted him to the kitchen, which gave the kids an opportunity to come and annoy me. All three of them came rushing at me like they had seen some kind super nova or something of the sought. Mello had jumped on the couch and placed his legs over my shoulders and rested his arms on my head. Near attached himself to my right arm and Matt sprawled himself out over my legs.

"Mamma L, Daddy L had said you had been hit by a bus" Matt said looking at me

"He did not he said you felt like you had been hit by a bus, Matt is so stupid" Near replied

"I already asked him how could he know what being hit by a bus felt like" Mello stated

"Have you been hit by a bus Mamma L?" Matt asked

"Of course he hasn't been hit by a bus Matt, do you think he would be sitting here if he were hit by a bus?" Mello argued with Matt

It was almost hard to keep up with them; somehow talking to me had become a three man boxing match

"Mamma L, I was looking in the encyclopedia yesterday and I wanted to ask you something" Matt asked

"Of course you would want to ask him because you can't work out anything yourself"

"Near give it a rest; actually all three of you cut it out. Come on why do you have to argue?"

"You can't ask any questions until you have answered Matt's first" Mello replied

I could feel the frustration boiling inside of me already; they had just got home and were already driving fucking nuts

"Since when has that been a rule of conversation?" I asked Mello

"Common courtesy Mamma L" Near replied

"Fine, what is your question Matt?"

"I was reading about how babies are made" he said

"What! Matt you shouldn't know anything about that at your age; you shouldn't be looking at anything like that for at least another five or six years"

"Why not?"

"Because I said so that's why" I replied

"That's not a valid reason Mamma L" all three of them chanted

"I don't care if it is valid or not it's a reason, why were you looking at how babies were made?" I asked

"Well because Near told me that only a woman and a man could make babies, and we were wondering if only a woman and man could make babies then how exactly would you and Daddy L make babies?" He asked

I felt my face flush with pink; I was completely embarrassed this had to be some sort of dream, no nightmare. They couldn't be seriously been asking me about this stuff. The more I thought about what they were asking the calmer I had become, they were clever kids I didn't know why I was so surprised they were asking me about it and secondly they had been clever asking me and not Lawliet otherwise they would have probably ended up with diagrams and detailed description read out of a medical journal.

"Daddy L and I can't make babies, at least not together, besides we already have you three and trust me that's more than enough" I replied

"Mamma L?" Mello asked

"Mmm?"

"Are you going to keep us?"

"Yeah Mamma L are you going to keep us" Matt encored

"We don't want to go back to England and we don't want to go back to Wammy's house" Near continued

I turned to look at the little white haired boy with a concerned look

"Why did something bad happen there? If there is something you boys are afraid of you have to tell me so I know how to protect you" I replied

"No nothing bad happened but we don't want to be there anymore, if we go back there we are going to hardly see you and Daddy L and soon enough we will be teenagers and still have no parents, do you really want us to go back there and be un loved and watch all the other children be adopted before us, and even if we do what if some serial killer or child slave labor man adopts us, huh then what?"

I had to shake my head; it was like having a conversation with three miniature adults.

"Near you know that I don't want that for any of you"

"So can we stay than, can you be our mother and father" Mello asked

"Technically speaking it would be father and father" Matt replied

"Yeah whatever, we promise we won't argue anymore" Mello replied

"Yeah we promise" Near said

Near looked up at me with puppy dog eyes, I wanted to give them an answer, I wanted to tell them they could stay but I had no idea if Watari was even going to allow it. I was caught between a rock and a hard place. I looked at all three of them and they all looked frightened, they were all worried they would have to go back to Wammy's house and spend the rest of their childhood there without having known what real family felt like. Before I could open my mouth and tell them that I wasn't sure Lawliet came through the door, I couldn't tell what his news was his face was completely blank. He walked over to me and touched Mello on the head gently messing up his hair, he leaned down to my ear and whispered as quietly as possible

"You're now a father" he stood back up and walked over to the other chair and sat down

Near immediately detached himself and ran to Lawliet and wrapped his arms around Lawliet's neck and sat almost cradled in his lap, Lawliet bought his knees up to his chest, resting the small boy against him. Even for eight years old Near was a very small he only appeared to be about four, maybe five at the latest. Mello and Matt didn't move off of me

"You don't have to go back to Wammy's house if you don't want to" I finally was able to reply. All their eyes had gone from sad to ecstatic

"However you guys have got to promise no more death threats, Near you have got to stop under mining the other two, Matt you are going to stop instigating arguments and Mello you can't survive off of chocolate and you can't be jealous if you are not everyone's number one priority all day every day, do I make myself clear?" I asked

They all remained silent and nodded their heads quickly in response

"And you don't have to worry we don't care that our parents are homosexuals, we don't care if you can't have babies and Mamma L only looks like a girl" Matt replied

Near and Mello started to laugh hysterically, Lawliet even smiled. As much as it should have offended me I had to silently commend Matt to make a somewhat of a decent joke.

"Are you boy's hungry?" I asked them

It must have been a stupid question because as soon as I had finished saying it they rushed into the kitchen and started raiding the fridge

"STAY AWAY FROM THAT CAKE!" Lawliet yelled out to them

We could hear them giggling in the fridge which told me straight away that their father's cake had been the first most appetizing thing they could find

It was strange hearing the word father in my head, we were fathers now. Was I dreaming or was this really reality, everything was going much too well so far which left me with a sinking feeling in my stomach, nothing could ever go this well could it? No something was bound to happen sooner or later, something drastic.

Lawliet got off the couch and walked out of the room into the kitchen where I could hear more giggling and then the sound of rattling plates and cutlery. Getting those boys off of sweets was going to be like getting a drug addict off of cocaine, I knew because of Lawliet's own addiction to sweets it was going to be hard to get the kids to actually eat something that hadn't contained more sugar than any other ingredient but now they were part my kids I was going to have to make sure they had a proper diet

X

The night had quickly come around, the kids were fed, bathed, dressed in their pajamas and asleep before eight pm, it was hard to believe how exhausting it was to look after three boys especially those three. We had broken up two arguments, wrestled with Mello and a chocolate bar and had to spend three hours gluing back together a toy robot of Near's that Matt had decided to destroy; I had wondered if my rules had fallen on deaf ears. I fell into the mattress with a heavy thud, my head had felt like there had been a loud rock concert inside my skull and I felt like I had lost my voice. I had even heard Lawliet yell once or twice today, something he had never done before. I couldn't help but think, as much as I didn't want to, if we had made a mistake; it had to get better right? They were probably still so excited about coming to live here that they had simply forgotten there were our rules now. Lawliet came in hunched over, dragging his feet and collapsed beside me. He snuggled into me, resting his head on my arm and his hand draped over my chest.

"Mello has decided he gets nightmares if he sleeps too close to a window or door, Near wont sleep unless his bed is facing at a ninety degree angle and Matt wont sleep unless he is at least three feet away from any wardrobe or cupboard" Lawliet moaned

"Since when?" I asked

"Tonight" he replied

"So it looks like a tornado hit their room then?"

"Exactly" Lawliet replied

He really was exhausted he very rarely gave one word answers. It had been the first time since we had been together that we were in bed before nine and even more so that Lawliet was actually exhausted enough to want to go to sleep. Normally he would be up finding something to do but instead he was lying there with me, it felt nice.

"Light?"

"Yeah?"

"I need to let you know something"

"Alright"

"If anything ever happens to me I want you to take the boys and all the money I have and go somewhere new, find a nice house somewhere and start a fresh" He said

I rested up on my elbow with my hand pressed against my face

"Where is this coming from?" I asked him frowning; He turned on his side and looked at me with sorrowful eyes

"I just want to know that if I should die that you and the boys will be alright without me"

"Law' what the fuck are you talking about? Is there something that you're not telling me?"

"Hmm, possibly but I don't need you to worry about that, I have been honest with you from the day we met, I haven't intentionally kept anything from you, but you have to know that sometimes my past frightens me and there is always a chance the past comes back. There are things you don't know about me from when I was much younger things that I haven't told you because I am worried that if I do you will see me in a different light, you will see me as someone you can't love"

I was confused and somewhat scared. It wasn't like Lawliet to hide anything from me, like he said he had been honest from day one with me, I was the one who hid things from him and it was a stupid mistake on my part, I couldn't condemn him for something I spent so long doing, after all it was his past he wasn't obviously the same Lawliet that he was now, although I was curious as to what exactly he had done I was in love with him now. I didn't want to argue with him and I didn't want him to shy away from me so I decided not to push it but I knew there would be a day where curiosity would get the better of me and I would end up pushing for an answer from him but right now I just wanted to lie with him.

"Lawliet I don't care about what you did in the past. I can't sit here and give you hell for anything you had done in the past, I can't even criticize you about keeping anything from me, after all it was I who fucked you over, I had betrayed you and probably made your life a living hell. I can't scorn you for anything Law' and I am not going to push whatever it is you did out of you, it's up to you when or if you tell me but it won't stop me loving you, I wish you knew that already" I replied

"I think I may have been the reason someone may have been killed and I think they may want retribution" he replied

I wanted to laugh, that was it? He may have been the reason someone might have been killed? I had killed hundreds at yet he accepted me with open arms, he loved me, took care of me, made love to me, asked me to marry him and now we had kids together. It made me want to laugh because he had made me thought it was something truly mortifying but I couldn't by any means have anything negative to say or feel for him because of that

"Are you serious, Lawliet for a smart man you are such an idiot sometimes, what on earth made you think that I would stop loving you because you think you may have been the reason someone may have been killed?"

I placed my hand against his cheek, I could tell he was slightly pissed off at me, it must have been the idiot remark, but it was true. I was no different, there had been times where I had been so stupid to think some of the things I thought and even some of the things I said. There had been a time where I had doubted that he would love me because I was a man, which had been one of many times I had thought incorrectly.

"Look Law' you know that I love you, I worship you for crying out loud, there is nothing in this world I wouldn't do for you. I don't care what you did in the past and I don't care what you do in the future as long as you don't leave me or those brats. I could never stop loving you simply because you made a mistake, we aren't perfect Law' none of us but you're the closest thing to it and nothing you do or say could ever taint that image I see. You gave me a lifeline when you didn't have to you could have very well seen me executed"

"Please don't talk like that" he said

"Just wait, let me finish. You could have done anything you very well have liked and I honestly wouldn't have blamed you but instead you gave me a second chance, you gave me love, you let me have you, we have three horrible yet adorable kids and you want me for the rest of our lives. Out of everything you could have done you gave me something I had only dreamed about, you gave me everything that I didn't deserve, why would I let a simple thing like you may have killed someone get in the way of what we have, how fucking stupid would I be to walk out the door? I would be the dumbest asshole on the planet to leave you and those boys, no matter what we are family right?"

"Yes we are family"

"So please don't ever think that I won't love you because you made a mistake, I don't think any less of you, in fact I love you more because of it"

"How is that possible? How could you love somewhere more for making mistakes?"

"If you hadn't made that mistake, do you think you would be the person you are today?" I asked

"I suppose I wouldn't be"

"There is my point; I love you for all of who you are the good the bad and everything in between. I love you just the way you are, if that mistake has made you are today how could I scorn you for that?"

I leaned down to his mouth and pressed my lips against his. He responded joyfully taking my tongue with his. I placed my hand against his chest and felt his heart thump hard against my palm. He pulled his lips away from mine and his eyes had diverted down to my pants that resembled a tent

"See I love you for all of who are" I replied

He looked back into my eyes and placed his lips against my collar bone. He darted his tongue out and licked my skin. His tongue was soft and moist each lick was like a little bit of heaven. He loosened my pants while his licked and kissed me. He pushed me down on my back and lowered my pants before taking them off completely. He released my hard manhood from my underwear and began to rub the length up and down unhurriedly and lightly.

"mmm Law' don't do that" I begged him

He placed his hand over my mouth

"Shh" he whispered and gave me same seductive smile I had seen a lot of lately

"But—"

"Shh this is make up sex, don't argue with me unless you want it much worse" he whispered

He stopped rubbing me and moved to kneel in between my legs. He pulled the quilt over him and most of the way up my body. I could feel him moving around under the blanket and the suddenly watched his shirt, pants and underwear drop to the ground. How he managed to do that so quickly had stunned me, either he was very eager or he had been a magician at some point during his life and I hadn't been aware of it

"Take your shirt off" I heard him say, his voice slightly muffled by the thickness of the quilt over him

I sat up and did as he requested I began to pull the shirt off, I had got it about halfway when I felt his wet, hot tongue running along my shaft. I couldn't even bring myself to pull the rest of my shirt off. His licks and sucks were extensive and feverish, it was as if he had been sexually deprived, those three days must have been strange for him while I was out cold. We had a wonderful love between us and sex had made it that much more amazing. When we had sex it wasn't about fucking or just because we could have it, it was just proof of our passion and love for each other; we probably had sex more than most couples did, but that was just us. Lawliet had turned out to be someone who enjoyed the closeness and the embrace that we created while making love and the sounds he made drove me completely wild, each moan, scream, wail was like music to my ears it meant that he loved what I had done to him and he kept wanting more from me, it made me feel wanted and needed, like I was the only one who could ever make him feel that good.

His slowly put my member in his mouth and gently brushed with his teeth. He was incredible; all those times he had dissolved sweets with his tongue and those moments where he had sucked on the tip of his thumb while he was thinking had benefited me substantially. All I wanted to do was cum as soon as his mouth wrapped around my hardened manhood, I was completely weak for him, and everything he did was mind blowing. This was the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with and if he had loved me every day the way he did so far for the rest of our lives then I was a the luckiest man alive and if still wanted to make love to me and allow me to make love to him when our passion burned fire red then I was even more lucky.

We had spent the night in a battle of foreplay and dominance, I had made him cum repeatedly and he did the same to me. We helped each other to remain silent even when things had become extremely intense and had made love to each other several times over. It was the perfect ending to a perfect day; I wanted it to be like this forever.

"I love you Light" he whispered to me

"I love you too Lawliet" I whispered back to him

Even though we were both sweaty and sticky I had rested on his chest and whilst he stroked my hair I had fallen into a deep sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

"Mamma L please wake up, Come on wake up" I could hear a voice in my ears

I opened my eyes and looked at the alarm clock on my bed side table

"What the hell it's four am"

I looked to the right of me to see Near standing next to bed looking petrified. I sat up quickly

"Near what's wrong"

"It's Daddy L, he is missing and there is blood in the lounge room and I think Watari is dead" he trembled

"What?" I said as I jumped out of the bed and ran to the lounge room wearing just pajama bottoms. The walls and floor were stained with blood. The room had been decorated with high velocity blood splatters of all kinds everywhere. I couldn't take my eyes away from it all. I felt around for the small boy who was standing next to me.

"Near go to your room don't wake up Mello and Matt, everything will be alright, just go"

I could feel the small boy pull away from me and he rushed back to his room. I slowly moved closer to the stains, this had to be some kind of sick joke; there was no way that I was seeing this. My foot had suddenly hit something hard, my heart pounded in my chest and I could feel the sweat beading on my face and neck. I slowly looked down to my foot and what I had accidentally kicked

"WATARI!" I yelled and dropped to the floor, his body was completely still and a large pool of crimson red had surrounded him. I placed my hand against his wrist; no pulse, Watari was most defiantly dead. I could feel the blood seeping through my pajama pants at the knees; my hands were covered in his blood. This was bad, and poor Near had to be the one to see all this, he was going to be traumatized. There was no way that Lawliet did this, he couldn't have. He wouldn't have killed Watari especially not here where the boys could have seen it. I took my hands away from the body, working with L I knew one thing; never ever touch a dead body and I had already made that mistake. I looked around the room and suddenly jumped up

"LAWLIET! LAW'? WHERE ARE YOU?" I yelled out

I looked around the room in a terrified panic; I couldn't help but think that Watari wasn't the only one who had been killed here. How the hell did anyone even get in here? Who would have been that crazed to kill an elderly man and take Lawliet, why would anyone want to take him?

"He knew it was coming, that's what he was talking about last night" I said to myself. I ran to the other side of the room following the blood splatters, if he wasn't here then whoever killed Watari had taken him.

I paused and my eyes widened, my heart pounded in my chest. My mouth became dry and sweat poured from my face and drenched my chest.

"L is mine now, B" I saw written in blood on the floor behind the couch.

Who the fuck was B and how did they know Lawliet? I had to call the police, as much as I hesitated in case my father was the one to be called out, I had to call them. I had no choice if this B had Lawliet and he was the one who killed Watari then I had no doubts that they would kill Lawliet without a second thought. Lawliet must have received prior warning this was going to happen, there was no way he would have said what he did last night just on off chance it may have happened. Someone, B, was after L and I had no idea why. I rushed to phone and picked it up and called in the emergency.

X

I sat on the couch with my face in my hands. I knew it all had to be too good to be true. I was frightened, angry and sad all at the same time, someone had taken my Lawliet and killed Watari and I had no idea where to even begin and what about Near, he was the first one to see the massacre, how was I going to ever erase that from his mind?, he was going to remember this for the rest of his life.

The room was filled with officers I had never met before; the crimes scene unit had taken away Watari's lifeless body and were taking photos of the blood splatters and the message that was in blood on the floor. I had felt the world around me crush me. My father would have heard about this, I know he would have, I guessed he was serious about me no longer being a part of his family. I couldn't worry about that, I had three boys I needed to look out for and I had no idea how I was even going to begin explaining this to them. I had very little doubts that they had to deal with death before; this was going to destroy them. They were our sons and now one of their fathers was gone, they had just gained a family and now this B was taking that away from them. I decided there and then I was going to find B and I was going to kill him/her. It had taken the police a couple of hours to finish up, I was left to clean up the blood before Mello and Matt would see it too and also be traumatized

I felt tears fall from my eyes and collide with the blood on the floor as I scrubbed it with a hard brush. Even though I had never been a stranger to death I had never seen this much blood, it was disgusting and disturbing and caused my stomach to churn. How the hell had this happened? I should have been awake; I should have made him stay in bed with me until daylight. I could only blame myself for this. What if someone had found out about the Death Note? What if this was the revenge of a family member or friend of a criminal I had killed? No, it couldn't have been possible, the Death Note was gone, and there was nothing that had linked me to the Death Note or any of the deaths of the criminals. I felt like my heart had been shattered into a million pieces. Lawliet must have been so scared, what if he had to watch as B killed Watari? He would be a mess, how was he going to be able to survive that?

I continued to scrub at the floor and walls until little evidence was left. I held back the tears and threw away the rubber gloves and scrubbing brush in the trash. As I poured the blood water down the sink I could help but throw up. It had made me so sick, knowing that it was Watari's blood, the man who gave me and Lawliet our sons, I was pouring down the sink and what if some of that blood was Lawliet's? I couldn't bear the thought of him being dead. What is this B was the one Lawliet had thought he had killed? I didn't even know anything about a B, maybe I should have pushed what I could out of Law' last night even if it meant we would spend the night arguing or not speaking to each other. I was so fucking stupid.

After I had finished disposing of the water and I had finished throwing up I went and sat back down on the couch. While the police were there I had gone into the bedroom and found one of Lawliet's shirts and pair of pants and put them on, I could smell him on me. It was heartbreaking, Lawliet was out there someone in the hands of what I concluded was a mad man and I could do nothing about it, I didn't know what I was going to do or how I was going to find him but I had to, for the boy's sake and my own.

"Mamma L?" I heard Near beside me

I didn't even think I just picked him up and held him close to me. I pressed him hard against my chest and gently stroked his head. He looked so much like Lawliet it was almost painful to look at him, I wasn't sure on how much Near had seen, but I knew he had seen Watari's dead body and he had seen a fair bit of the blood.

"I am so sorry Near, I am so sorry you had to be the one to see this" I said to him trying to fight the tears but it was pointless I could feel them forming in my eyes and running down my face

"Mamma L? What's wrong?" I could hear another voice it was Mello with Matt standing beside him

"Come here" I said softly to them both and they came rushing to me.

"Boys I don't know what is happening exactly and I don't know if you should be hearing this but, last night at some point someone came into the building and murdered Watari and I think they took your Dad. Do any of you know who B is?" I asked on a limb

Near and Mello both shook their heads but Matt, Matt remained still and quiet

"Matt do you know who B is?" I asked him quietly and calmly

"I am sorry, I didn't mean to do it, but I heard them talking about L and I couldn't help but listen, I really didn't mean to do it I am sorry" he replied quickly and in a panic

"It's OK Matt, listen to me what did you hear? who was talking?"

"It was when we were still at Wammy house; it was just before Daddy L left. I heard Watari and Roger talking about B, they said they had thought he had committed suicide but he hadn't he had escaped from Wammy house, they said that L was in danger and that he had to leave and disappear from England in case B would come back and try and kill L, they didn't say what B's real name was, they only called him B" Matt replied

"Did you ever meet this B?" I asked

Matt shook his head

"I don't think so" he replied softly

At least it was something; it gave me an idea on where to start. I didn't know who B was but he did have Lawliet and I was not going to let him be killed by that psychopath. Whoever he was and whatever connecting B had to L I was going to find it.

"Matt I need you to do something for me, do you think you could hack into Watari's and Daddy L's computers and see if you can find out anything to do with B?, it doesn't matter how insignificant it looks just print anything you find off. Daddy L's computer is on the left and Watari's room is on the top floor, his computer will be in there somewhere, I will disable the codes so you can use the lift and gain access to his room" I said to him

"I will do it right away" he replied and got up and walked over to the desk with three computers sitting on it and turned the one on the left on and started to do what he did best

"Near, Mello I need you two to help go through Daddy L's files, we need to see if he kept anything about B in there, he may have been trying to keep a track of him if he thought he was in any danger from B"

I picked up Near and placed him on the floor then stood up and walked out of the room into a smaller room that was filled with filing cabinets. I opened the first draw and pulled out a good stack of thin folders and carried them back into the lounge room and placed them on the floor in front of Mello and Near. They grabbed a file each and started looking through them. I sat on the couch and picked one of the folders up myself

I found myself gazing at the floor where I had found Watari's body. The images flashed in my head, I could only imagine how Near had felt, despite how intelligent he was there was no way that he was ever going to forget that any time soon. I shook my head and focused on what I was doing. I had looked at both Mello and Near they had already had a small pile each of folders they had already gone through

"Anything yet boys?"

"Most of this stuff is old cases dating as far back as three years ago, so far nothing insignificant" Near replied

"Same here, it's quiet amazing to see everything he has done though, there are even thank you notes from family members of the victims of some of the crimes here letting him know how much they appreciated all his hard work" Mello said

"Your dad has always been incredible. He's one of the most amazing people I have ever met. I know your dad and I know that he wouldn't have willingly gone with someone like that, this B person must have threatened him"

"What if B wasn't after Daddy L?" Near asked

"What do you mean?" Mello asked him

"What if the only reason why Daddy L was taken by B was because he was awake at the time and Watari was only killed because he was too. It's extremely unlikely that Watari would have been in the lounge room at any time after ten, we know that because Watari often goes to bed early and doesn't come down until late morning"

"That means at some point B would have had to use Watari to open to door in order for him to gain access to the building since it can't be accessed without a key card. B came here not knowing that L had set up the security the way he had, if he knew L then he would have known that he would have some sort of security system had been put in place, but I doubt he would have known it was as extensive as it was. He needed to create some kind of scheme in order to get Watari out of bed to answer the door, since Watari's room is the only one that is fitted with a receiver for the doorbell down stairs, L would not have known someone was even here. This also tells me that B hasn't necessarily done his homework, because he would have known he wouldn't have been able to access the building, he only killed Watari because he could have identified B" I said trying to piece together what had actually happened

"And if B was here in order to exact some kind of revenge on Daddy L, then his main target wouldn't have been Daddy L himself it would have been one of us. It was only because Daddy L was awake at the time that B had taken him instead" Mello replied

It was all just speculation but it was all completely plausible. If B was really out to get L for whatever reason then he would have been smarter to take one or all of the kids or myself. L had foiled B's plan upon B's arrival and because B was so careless about the execution of the crime. I already gathered he was nowhere up to par on Lawliet's intelligence and also was unaware of Lawliet's current insomnia. This was all put together by someone clinically insane, nothing about what he did was a smart man's move, Could have B been the one that Lawliet had been scared of?, the one he had felt responsible for thinking he may have killed? B would have to been following L at some point to know where he lived and he must have known there was someone other than Watari and Lawliet living here why else would he leave the message he had on the floor, in plain sight? If Lawliet and B had known each other at Wammy house then B would have known the connection L had with the boys and if he had seen me enter the building and leave only rarely then he knew I too was here.

"Mamma L?" Matt called out from across the room

I looked up to the boy who had jumped down from off the chair and came towards me staring down at a piece of paper that he had printed off

"You better take a look at this" He said handing to me

I had a quick glance down at the paper and looked back up to the boys. They had waited for me to say something, but I couldn't I was in complete shock. I don't even think my heart was beating at that point. I could feel the piece of paper being pulled out of my hands and yet I was too paralyzed to stop it from happening

"What is it Mello?" Near asked

Mello began to look over the paper

"This is Daddy L's admission record for when he was placed in Wammy house. It says that he wasn't the only Lawliet to be taken into Wammy house at the time of admission; it says that there was someone else with him at the time. Daddy L had a twin brother" Mello said to Near

"Born with red eyes" I somehow managed to mumble out

I was all there in black and white, Lawliet was not an only child like I had assumed. He had a twin brother with red eyes, the eyes of a Shinigami. If I was right then it was possible that not only was Lawliet's twin brother a product of a Shinigami and human relationship then so was Lawliet.

"What does that mean, was he sick?" Matt asked

"No that means that if he was born with red eyes then he was part Shinigami" Mello replied

"Don't be stupid Mello there are no such thing as Shinigami it's a made up story made to frighten children" Near replied

Near had no idea that they weren't a myth and without the Death Note I had no way of getting in contact with Ryuk to ask him about this, I needed to know for sure if this was even possible. Could Lawliet and his brother have Shinigami blood? and if so was there any way of telling if Lawliet's brother possessed more than just the Shinigami eyes?. I had never asked Ryuk if there was any other way of getting in contact with him without the Death Note, the thought had never crossed my mind that I would need him, and the truth was he was the only one I could ask about this, anyone else would think I was just damned crazy talking of Shinigami and a Shinigami-Human hybrid.

"There is more" Matt said handing me yet another piece of paper

I took it from his hands and looked down at it. It was a copy of a photograph that had been torn in two. It was of Lawliet, a much younger Lawliet. There was an arm over his shoulder, an arm that had been wrapped in bandages. Could have this been his brother? Why would have Lawliet kept this from me?, why did he not want people to know about his brother?, could it have been that we were correct? Could Lawliet's brother really been born with Shinigami eyes? and if so was he the key to finding out who B was? There was a lot of questions that needed to be solved immediately, the sooner we solved the mystery of B the sooner I was going to be able to find Lawliet and bring him back home.

I had made the kids breakfast, although as suspected they hadn't touched most of it. I sat on the floor continuing to look through the folders but finding nothing. If I wanted to find out about Lawliet's brother and see if he knew B than I was going to have to get Matt to get into Watari's computer and dig up anything on Lawliet and this brother of his. Even though there could have been another reason why Lawliet's brother had red eyes it didn't make any sense to me why Lawliet would have wanted his brother erased. Why had the photo been torn in half? I could only assume that Lawliet had known that his brother was born differently and so was he, his brother was the physical evidence that both of them had been born with Shinigami blood in their veins, which was possibly the main reason their mother had given them up in the first place, it had only been mere coincidence that Lawliet was well above average in intelligence.

"Don't worry Near we will find Daddy L, you'll see everything is going to be alright. He wouldn't give up on us"

I heard Mello say to Near who had just stared down at the bowl of cereal. He hadn't even eaten anything.

"Mamma L will get him back, he won't give up, I know he won't and neither will we, we can't give up and assume it's too late Near" Matt said placing his hands on his little brothers back

"Come on boys, let's go see if we can find anything more in Watari's computer hopefully there will be a key to the brother and this B" I said as I stood up and walked to the elevator door that had been beside the front entrance.

I opened up the plastic casing that had housed a touch pad. I punched in the code for the elevator and waited. The boys soon joined my side and we went up to the top floor to Watari's room.

It was a typical old man's room. Clean and tidy with very little lying around. He had a bed, a bedside desk and computer. The boys had been the first to enter the room and I followed in close behind. Matt had gone straight to the computer and sat down and started to hack into the system files. Mello had gone and sat beside him and waited. I could feel small arms wrap around my leg. I bent down to the white haired boy and picked him up and held him with one arm, he wrapped one arm around my back and the other rested on my shoulder. I had notice something at the corner of my eye as I looked around; something glimmering behind a slightly opened door that I had thought had been the bathroom. I left Matt and Mello to their devices and walked towards the door. I pushed it open and revealed a room filled with televisions that displayed an image of every room in the house except the bedrooms.

"It's a live feed; this is where all the cameras send their information. If the cameras were still turned on when B had come in then there is a chance one of those camera's caught him"

"What time did you and Daddy L go to sleep last night?" Near asked me

"It must have been at least eleven maybe twelve; you woke me up at four so there was either a four or five hour gap where B could have come in"

I looked at each of the televisions and made out which room was the lounge room. Every television had been attached to a video recorder. I took a deep breath and had hoped that they were recording last night. I pressed rewind on the tape recorder and I could hear a tape rewinding, it was so far a good sign. I pressed play and watched as the television had flicked over to the video

Near pointed to the date and time, it was of last night at around eleven. I pressed the fast forward button until I could see a shadow. I pressed play and we watched and waited. Suddenly Watari had appeared at the front door, opening it. It was only a brief second that I watched him being pushed to the ground by an arm.

"Don't watch Near" I said to the boy in my arms

He didn't argue with me instead turned his head and looked over my shoulder at his brothers on the computer.

As Watari fall to the floor the arm had become someone dressed completely in black, he had on a hooded jacket, black sunglasses, black gloves and black pants even his shoes were black. I watched as the person stood over Watari, he reached behind him and pulled out something shiny from his back pocket as soon as I saw him lunge at Watari I knew that it was a knife. Blood had sprayed as the mystery man had sliced Watari across the throat. Watari struggled to escape but it was much too late. The man had begun stabbing him sending blood flying all over the walls. I had to look away briefly, it was a lot to take in but I had to keep watching I needed to know what had happened to Lawliet.

Watari had stopped moving, as soon as the stabbings had stopped I had seen a familiar shadow rush into the room, as soon as he came into the camera's view I could see it was Lawliet, he looked down at the body of Watari, dropping to his knees. He was panicked and scared, blood staining his hands as he tried to wake his caregiver up with no prevail. Lawliet hadn't even seen the man standing behind him. The hooded man had grabbed Lawliet by the throat and pulled him away from the body, his hands and clothes had been now spotted with large patches of blood. I watched as my lover had defensively tried to struggle away from his attacker. The man in the hooded jumper looked around him quickly, his movements suggested something had not gone right, his arms were shaking and he was in a full-fledged panic. Our assumptions had been correct; B had not planned for Watari or Lawliet to be there. Holding Lawliet in a choke hold he dragged him out of the camera views. B must have known there was camera's set up to go to the trouble to make himself un-recognizable. Near had turned back around and started to watch again, the hooded man and Lawliet had gone, no more than a minute later, the hooded man had returned dragging a limp L to the front door, I could see that the right glove of the assailant had been covered in something wet, most likely blood, it must have been where he had written the message on the floor. I watched as the assailant turned around and admired the crimson mess around him, whilst he looked at the room I watched as Lawliet suddenly sprung up and with whatever strength he had he knocked the sunglasses off of his kidnappers face. The hooded man had his back to the camera's, I was frustrated, the man's face would have been clearly visible if only he would turned around. He lunged at L and hit him hard enough to make L unconscious that was where B had made a huge mistake. He turned around and my eyes had gone wide, my heart stopping once again, I could fell Near grip his arms around me tightly, we knew exactly who he was

"B is L's brother" Near and I had said at the same time as we looked at the man with the red eyes dragging away Lawliet's body.


	11. Chapter 11

I hadn't even thought about sleeping, I couldn't. Somehow I had managed to get the boys fed, bathed, dressed and in bed asleep without any complaints or quarrels they hadn't even argued once during the day or night. I couldn't bring myself to sleep in Lawliet's and my bed, not while I could smell him all around the room, I could still smell him on his clothes that I couldn't bring myself to take off. I sat in his chair resting a glass of scotch on my knee, I had never even drank before tonight but the aching in my heart was too much, the boys were missing him like crazy and after finding the information that we did earlier, and seeing what was on the surveillance tape was a lot to take in, it was a struggle to even begin to comprehend it all. I had no idea that Lawliet was in this much pain; I couldn't imagine how it must have been for him to have to keep this bottled up because he didn't want to put anyone else at risk. I didn't know why B was after Lawliet, I didn't know what the circumstances were but I was going to find out and I was going to find a way of locating and getting back my lover. I honestly didn't know what to think if he was dead, if Lawliet had died because of B, B was going to wish he was never born, he was going to wish that he never taken Lawliet and he was going to beg me for a quick death because if B had done anything to Law' to harm him I was going to make sure he paid dearly for it, Shinigami blood or not I was not going to back down.

What I hadn't understood was, if B was the one Lawliet had been talking about the night before, the one he had thought he had thought he had been responsible for killing and if Lawliet had received prior notice that B would be coming back for revenge in order for him to start the conversation he had with me then why did Lawliet still feel guilty for something he clearly hadn't done? What was a missing? could it be that he had been talking about someone else and not B? There had to be a reason why B had decided to go after Lawliet there was a piece of the puzzle missing that I still couldn't put together, there was something I had overlooked.

I threw back the glass of scotch, shuddering as it hit the back of my throat. For someone who never drank I certainly had no problems drinking like I had been doing it for years. I stood up and put the empty glass on the table and walked to our bedroom. There had to be something somewhere that would tell me if Lawliet did in fact know for sure this was going to happen and if he did there had to be some form of evidence that told him it was going to happen.

I walked into the dark room and I had opened the door. I wanted to drop to floor and cry again, it hurt like hell seeing our bed, seeing his clothes hanging in the wardrobe. I could even see the impression in the mattress where he had lied in the same position for a few hours each night as he battled insomnia. I could feel my body wanting to go to the bed and lying down on his side, against his pillows. I wanted to fight it and I really tried, I wanted to search for evidence but the urge was just too strong. I collapsed against the mattress resting my head on the soft warm pillows that had his scent all over them. If I closed my eyes and blocked out even the sound of my own breathing it was almost as if I was holding him, as if he were right there and things were perfect again. I had to snap myself out of it, I wasn't going to find him just lying there doing nothing to aide in the search and not only bring Lawliet home but bring B to justice. I sat up and looked around the room; I had no idea where to even begin. I had never seen him hide anything or even appear suspicious to hiding anything. I couldn't help but think if Lawliet had hid this from me what more could there be, I knew I had betrayed him about hiding the fact I was Kira for so long but I never would have imagined Lawliet doing this, maybe it was payback or maybe he was genuinely worried for me if I found out everything that I would become a target. I trusted him more than any other person, I would put my life in his hands and I knew it would remain safe with him. What I had seen in that tape and what I had read and seen with my own two eyes was catching up on me and I was feeling mentally overwhelmed. If I was going to save Lawliet I had to pull myself together, he was counting on me to save him and I was no good to him losing my bearings.

I pulled myself up off the bed and began to move over to his bedside cupboard, I had never been in there but it was a good place to start. I reached my hand out and grasped the knob, I swallowed hard I had silently hoped that there was nothing in there, if there was that meant it was just another secret he had kept from me. I pulled the top drawer open, holding my breath. I nearly pulled it out from the cupboard itself, it was completely empty. I sighed; I had realized that I still hadn't showered from the previous night when we made love. I was in desperate need for a shower; I could still smell him on me. I closed the drawer and made my way to the bathroom. I turned on the hot and cold taps and waited for the water to start running. I needed to at least try and freshen up in hopes it would revitalize my mind and I would be able to think more clearly to try and start to draw on some conclusion where he might have been. I quickly stripped myself of his clothes and placed them inside the laundry basket; now that Watari was gone I was going to have to make the laundry my responsibility. I stepped into the shower and let the water hit my face. It was warm and welcoming and I had a very fond memory of being in the shower with the water running over me. Lawliet had been there for me after I had been beaten by my father because I was gay and with Lawliet, this was where I was when I drowned my sorrows and Lawliet came to me, it was also the first place that he had made love to me. The thought was enough for me to break down. I dropped to my knee's the water running over my entire body, I placed my head in my hands and screamed into them, tears ran down my face and trickled in between my fingers.

I had spent fifteen minutes under the water sobbing, I had finally pulled myself together to turn off the water and go get dressed so that I could try and piece together the puzzle. I threw on a black long sleeved shirt and a pair of black track pants. I ran the towel through my hair, just as I was about to put the towel back into the bathroom I had been startled by a sudden high pitched squeal that was coming from the lounge room, it was the phone ringing. I raced out of the bedroom, nearly tripping over the bed itself and lunged myself at the phone, grasping it quickly and holding it to my ear

"Law?" I asked hurriedly

I wasn't sure if it was going to be him but in the off chance it was I wanted the first thing he heard was me calling his name

"Light" a whisper came through, I had heard him whisper in my ear countless times I knew it was him.

"Lawliet please tell me you are alright, I miss you so much, I saw the tape I saw everything and I know about B, Law', please tell me where you are so I can come and get you" I said quickly

"Light listen, I can't talk long, I need to speak with Matt, I will explain as soon as I can but I need to speak with him now" He whispered

"OK, just wait there OK please just hold on" I had to trust him

I placed the handset down onto the desk and ran to the kid's room; I had tried to be quiet as possible. I walked over to Matt's bed and gently shook the sleeping child. He woke up quickly and rose his head

"Shh" I whispered to him and he nodded his head in response

"It's Daddy L, Matt he needs your help he is on the phone" I whispered into his ear so I wouldn't wake Mello and Near.

It was enough encouragement to get Matt quickly up and race with me back to the phone on the desk

"Daddy L?" Matt said quietly picking up the phone

I knelt down beside Matt and held my ear near the phone

"Matt I need you to do something, I need you to hack into Watari's computer and see if you can file called Tracker. When you find it I need to you find somewhere you can enter the digits 2309986, the program will show you the rough area where I am currently. As soon as you get an answer you will need to tell Light, can you do that for me?"

"Yes of course" Matt replied

"Alright good boy" Matt handed me back the phone and ran to the elevator and quickly disappeared inside it and went upstairs.

I held the handset back against my ear

"Law?" I asked

"I'm still here, Light please know I didn't want to keep any of this from you. I love you dearly and I hope one day you can forgive me, I promise you I will give you answers but right now I can't. B is not a rational person and he will have no problems in killing me, once Matt has the information necessary you will be able to track me down. I have faith in you Light, I love you and miss you desperately, please be careful"

Then loud beeps, he was gone. I could breathe again I knew he alive, it was better than not knowing anything at all. But like he said B could kill Lawliet at any given moment we were in a race against time and Lawliet was in the hands of a madman. I had to go check on Matt to see if he was able to find the program that Law' had asked him to find. I hurried over to the elevator and waited for it come down from the top level, it had felt like the longest twenty seconds of my life. The doors slid opened and I stepped inside pressing the up arrow button over and over until the doors closed. Once it had gone up to the top level I stepped out and walked over Matt who was sitting at the computer completely focused. I placed my hand on his shoulder, he turned to face me. He had looked so tired but he was working hard to do what Lawliet had asked him, I had never been prouder of him as I was in that moment. He turned his attention back to the computer screen

"Here it is look" he suddenly spoke

I looked at the lit up screen. I was looking at a map that had been decorated with various colored small circles; I honestly didn't know what exactly I was looking at.

"Which one of these is L?" I asked myself quietly

"These are the places that the device which belongs to the code that Daddy L gave me. They are centered around Osaka. Each dot is no more than five miles from one another, which means that if you draw a circle around the furthest markers Daddy L is somewhere here in this thirty mile radius"

It was the first time I had smiled since Lawliet and I had spent that night making love several times over. We finally had a lead and something to go on, I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to locate him in that thirty mile radius but if it meant breaking down every door in every building I was going to do, if it meant finding Lawliet.

"Matt I know this is asking a lot, I know I would be taking a huge risk but..."

"I will look after Near and Mello, we aren't exactly regular kids after all, we can take care of each other, we have been for the last five years. I promise, just please go and get Daddy L"

I didn't want to leave the boys home alone but Matt was right for the past five years those boys had looked out for each other and taken care of each other, if I had secured the building then nobody could come in and nobody could go out. I had to get Lawliet and I trusted Matt when he said he promised to look after his brothers. Matt printed out the map and handed it to me. We exited Watari's room and went back down stairs. I went into the room and picked up my shoes and jacket. While I sat in Lawliet's black leather chair and pulled my shoes on Matt stood next to me

"I will have my phone on me, my number is on the refrigerator, there is plenty of food in the kitchen eat whatever you want, I don't even care if it is just cake and candy. Please be careful OK, I don't want to end up losing you guys too"

I finished putting on my shoes and I looked up and the brown haired blue eyed boy, it had only occurred to me that I wasn't looking at his eyes through orange colored goggles, it was strange it was like I was really looking at Matt for the first time, he had grown up so fast, they all had. He seemed so much more different when we first met but now I felt like I was staring at a young man and not a small boy anymore. I smiled and stood up; I pressed a quick kiss on top of his head.

"Thank you for your help Matt, I love you"

"I love you too Dad"

It had been the first time I had heard any of the kids call me Dad and it was heartwarming, I felt as if my entire heart and everything inside of me had melted at those five simple words.

"Are you sure you will be alright?" I asked again pulling on my jacket

"Yes trust me, everything will be fine" He replied.

I took one last look at him before I punched in the code on the pad that was high up on the lounge room door to secure the building and I left.

I had bought a car some years ago but after I had met Lawliet and we had begun walking most places I suddenly had no use for it so I had hoped it would still run after all this time. I opened up the garage door to reveal a bright red convertible that I had paid more than enough for, it was a shame such a sleek and aesthetically pleasing vehicle had gone so unused and probably would for the rest of our lives now that we had children and a two seater convertible was a hardly a family car, I had decided in that moment once I got back from finding Lawliet I would sell it and buy something that the boys could fit in too.

I couldn't remember the last time I had driven into the city, it must have been way before I had met Law' I hated the traffic jams, the busy streets and the pushy drivers but I had doubted that there would be too many people driving around at three thirty in the morning, it had only occurred to me that I had been awake for nearly twenty four hours, but I was going to refuse to sleep until I had found my fiancé and made sure we got home safe. I had hoped that once we were home he would make the decision to move somewhere further away, maybe America just so we could leave all the hurt behind, so none of us had to live in a building that all of us would remember as the house Watari was murdered in and when Lawliet was taken by a mad man who had made the lounge room look like a strawberry fight had broken out. I drove as fast as I could, I knew I was risky pushing the speed limit but because it was such a quiet and very early morning I had little doubts that there would be any police patrolling the streets. I was in a race against time and so far time was getting the better of me

"Why the fuck did we have to live so far away from the city" I said loudly to myself hitting my palms on the steering wheel.

I looked down at them briefly, they were the hands that held Lawliet, the hands I used to love him, tease him and make love to him. If time won and I would never feel his flesh with my touch again I didn't know what I was going to do. I needed him to be alright, I couldn't spend the rest of my life without him, he wasn't just my lover he was my best friend, and he was the one that was always there. He was a guiding voice and hand, he led me to the light when everything seemed so dark, he made me come alive I was everything I was now because of him and if I had lost him I wouldn't be able to function, he was my oxygen. The very thought made me push the speed limit even further.

I was coming close to the city; I could see the blanket of glittering lights and neon signs in the close distance. This time of the morning was reserved for the intoxicated and those looking for a good time with a hooker or at a gentleman's club. Everyone else would have been in bed asleep and there I was trying to find Lawliet in a sea of buildings. B was Lawliet's twin brother and I had hoped unlike Lawliet, B slept. If he was asleep still when I found Lawliet it would make the escape much easier. I opened up the glove compartment and looked inside, coordinating my glances between the content of the glove box and the road ahead of me. I had put a gun in there just after I had met Lawliet, at the time I was Kira and I could never be too safe, even though the use of fire arms was illegal in Japan, if it meant saving his life I was not going to take a second thought in using it, no matter who had to die I was going to save L Lawliet.

I pulled the gun out from the glove compartment and a small box that sat beside it. It was a box of bullets that I was sure I was going to need. If worse came to worse and I had to shoot someone I was going to need a lot of bullets, my aim was not accurate and least I could assume that since I had never fired a gun before. If I was going to have to use the gun then I was going to have to trick my brain into thinking that I was in fact a pro, I had tried to remember how exactly they used guns in crime shows on television, tried to think about how they held them, how they aimed and fired and how they were reloaded. I had hoped the images I had in my head were accurate enough. I laid the gun and the bullets on the passenger side chair until I found the spot to get out and I would tuck them into my pants once I was standing and walking so that it didn't dig into my thigh. I could smell the city, it was strange but Osaka had smelled alive, even at this time in the morning. It smelt like street vender food, stale whiskey and sex. It was a feast for the eyes and the senses, people loved to be here. Apparently even the sick and demented B. I had desperately wanted to know his story, who he was exactly? why he was trying to kill L? and why would have L felt responsible for B's death when he clearly wasn't dead? I wanted answers, no I craved for the answers, I wanted the puzzle solved and I feared I was running out of time and patience.


	12. Chapter 12

**Big hello to my new follower My Mind Is Blank, thank you so much for your support you gave me the encouragement to start chapter twelve ^.^ I am also going to try and shorten the chapters a little bit here on out for you all just so there isn't such a mass to read in one hit.**

I pulled the car over and got out in front of a club that was famous for massages with happy endings. Somewhere from here 'til the next thirty miles was Lawliet and I was going to find him. I looked down at the map and looked at the various dots, each dot was a different coloring to separate the different buildings the tracking device had been. I had to assume it was a phone or something similar. The club was the first dot on my map and so I had to start here. Being a gay man and having no interest in women meant entering a club like this was going to be the epitome of uncomfortable, I was going to have to be sly about this I was going to have to work my way into the building without being noticed and hope for the best. I swallowed hard and just as I took my first steps the phone in my pocket started to ring. I quickly pulled it out and answered it

"Light" I said looking up at the building trying to work out if there were another way in

"It seems you and I are yet to meet Light Yagami"

I froze that voice it sounded just like Lawliet with an essence of psychotic. It had to be B.

"Where are you and what have you done to L?" I asked firmly

He began laughing, I wasn't sure what he found most funny but his laugh was something I would never forget, pure evil, crazy ,you could hear the masochist inside of him.

"I haven't done anything to L, not yet anyway but if you don't follow my instructions I will slice his fucking throat open and drink the blood that pours from him and then I will kill those boys of yours right in front of you and then I will kill you and bathe in the crimson beauty that is your life source"

"Listen here you psychopathic freak I will hunt you down and tear you from limb to limb you have no fucking idea who you are messing with, If you do as much as touch a hair on Lawliet or those kids I will make sure you suffer, you will beg me to end your pathetic God forsaken life" I replied growling through clenched teeth

I was mad, I was pissed off and I was hell bent on revenge. If it was a war that he wanted I was going to give him a war and he was going to wish he had choose someone else to piss off.

"God forsaken? You spend your days fucking a man and you are calling me God forsaken, well that is something to laugh about, Light Yagami you are what I would call the pot, you are the pot calling the kettle black, you're the only one who is tainted here Light Yagami, you and that disgusting creature I call my brother oh and Light Yagami …I can see you" and then the psychopathic laugh.

I paused; my pulse pounded hard against my throat, sweat formed on my forehead and ran off the back of my neck and cascaded down my back. I turned around quickly and shifted my glance from one building to the next trying to see if I could see him somewhere.

"For an intelligent man you really are fucking stupid, do you honestly think I would make myself visible to you? Now you listen very closely, and pay attention. I am willing to release L and disappear forever I will even go as far as guaranteeing both L and the children's safety, in exchange for your life, really I don't give fuck who ends up dead but I can see you are willing to risk your neck to save him so I will give you a deal. You have forty eight hours to find me, I will give you clues and if you are as smart as this piece of shit brother here has told me you are then you will have no problems tracking me down. If you do not find me in that forty eight hour time gap I will cut his fucking throat and feast on his blood and the only thing you will have left of him is his fucking head on a stake. Do you understand?"

"Give me your clue you fucked up monster" I growled again

"Follow the red brick road Light Yagami, follow the red brick road and you will get your next clue, your time starts now"

He phone went silent, he had hung up. Of course I was willing to trade places with Lawliet, even if it meant I would be killed. After all he had done for me I could think of nothing more than to put my life up to save his. I didn't have the first clue what the red brick road was I had never heard of it before but I had less than forty eight hours to figure it out.

"Follow the red brick road"

I repeated to myself and tried to think. I had to think like a madman, if I were him I would have made the clue cryptic, it wouldn't be such an obvious answer. I would come to the conclusion that it was not physically speaking a red brick road; it had to be a street or something popularly known. He wouldn't have given me a clue that was impossible because if he were truly watching me he would have got pleasure in watching me being frantic and trying to come up with a logical answer. I heard stories about Osaka in the turn of the century it had been a place only the bravest men dared to visit. It was primarily ruled by two drug lords who had both been from separate families and it was a war to control Osaka. There was a bloodbath every day and soon enough so many of their lackeys had been killed that the war had come to point where the two drug lords had come head to head in combat, the history books had said that the roads had been paved with red after both drug lords had killed each other. That had to be, it would be the type of sick story that would probably give B a hard-on. If I had started to think more like B I was sure I was going to find Lawliet, it wasn't exactly hard, I had been a killer once and I too had a messed up psychotic mind I had got to a point where I didn't care who died just as long as someone did and that is how B thought. I had no idea where in Osaka this story had come from but I knew it would be land marked somehow, I raced to my car and got in it and started the engine. I pulled the phone out from my pocket and dialed the house. Matt answered on the second ring

"Dad?" He asked

"Yeah Matt, it's me, I need to ask you to find something out for me, in the turn of the century there was a massive war in Osaka over drugs, both drug lords ended up dead and it had been said that the roads had been paved with red, I need to know where this exactly happened"

"That's easy it is where Tennoji Gardens is now , the pavement was dug up and replaced with artificial grass sometime during the twenty first century, but the back of the gardens, which is off limits is still the same road. It's more or less used as a reminder of how Osaka was compared to what it is like now"

"Is everything OK there?" I asked him

"Yes everything is fine Mello and Near are still sleeping, everything is OK Dad"

"OK thank you Matt, we will be home soon. I promise"

I hung up the phone and put my floor to the accelerator. Tennoji Gardens was only three blocks away from the club; it was hard to believe that such a beautiful place would be housed in with places of filth. I hadn't been to Tennoji Gardens since I was a kid but it wasn't a place that you could easily forget, it was tranquil, serene and peaceful. You could hear the native birds in the trees and you could relax to the sound of running water from the intricate fountains. If both L and I got out of this alive, this would be the perfect place for us to get married.

I drove as fast as I could and pulled up to the entrance of the gardens. It was still pitch black and it was going to be hard to see what I was doing since they didn't keep the gardens lit up all night and all early morning. I picked up the gun and the bullets from the passenger seat and got out of the car, slamming and locking the door behind me. I tucked the gun into the waist band of my track suit pants and emptied the bullets into my pocket and I ran. I followed the concrete pathway that had led in long trails around the garden; I had to get to the very back of it in order to get to the red brick road. I had hoped that I was correct in my guess, if I wasn't not only was I wasting precious time but I was also no closer to knowing what the red brick road was. I could feel my lungs stinging, I couldn't even remember the last time that I had ran, at least a long distance. I felt like I was so out of shape, even after some of the vigorous sexual experiences I had with L had done nothing for my athletic abilities, rather a lack of. I used to be much more fit, I played tennis a lot but when it interfered with my studies I hung the racquet up, something I was wishing I had continued.

I puffed and panted as I ran as fast as I could, I could remember the garden paths were always long, they had gone right around the gardens and even though I was running as fast as I could, I had feared that it wasn't fast enough. I pushed myself harder, every single bone in my body was aching but I had to get there. I could feel the pavement beneath my feet suddenly change in texture; it had gone from a smooth flat surface to gravel like consistency. I knew I had to be approaching the back of gardens. I stopped to catch my breath, I pulled the phone out from my pocket and flashed the screen out in front of me to try and light up my way the best it could. I could see a small memorial monument about fifty feet in front of me, I lowered the phone towards the ground, and it had gone from smooth pavement, to gravel

"To brick" I said to myself and smiled. I ran to the memorial and read the plaque that was on the stone

"In memory of old Osaka, no more war, no more violence, no more red brick roads"

This had to be it, right on cue my phone had begun to ring again. I answered it, even though I had trouble speaking because I was so out of breath but I forced it out of me

"Light" I panted with heaviness in my voice

He laughed hysterically at me, I felt my heart sink, what if this wasn't the right place what if this was just to test my intelligence and he was wasting my time?

"What's the matter Light Yagami, out of breath?" he laughed again

"I followed your clue, now what?" I panted out

"This one should be easy for you Light; you won't even have to rely on your ten year old for this one"

How did he know that I had spoken to Matt in particular? he had to have the phones bugged, but was he really that smart?. He didn't come across to me as a guy who was clever, I couldn't think about that now.

"I want you to kill someone Light, with that gun that is tucked in your waist band; I want you to kill a cop in a public place at day break. You will need a cop yourself and then you will execute him point blank so that you will be covered in the innocent officers blood"

I couldn't believe what he was asking

"Light! Don't!" I could hear Lawliet in the background yelling to me

"Shut the fuck up! Fuck don't you just hate brothers, always trying to ruin your fun"

"I wouldn't know I don't have a brother"

I had learned working alongside the police that in hostage situations it was always a good idea to try and build rapport with the kidnapper, try and get on their level and get them to feel some sort of compassion. If I could try and convince B that I knew how he thought and I knew how he felt then maybe I could end this with no blood shed.

"Well then I am sure that if you want your son's to grow up having brothers you will do as you are told" B replied slyly with a laugh in his throat

"Are you a Shinigami?" I asked him

"What?"

"You heard me are you a Shinigami, I know you have Shinigami blood in you B but are you a Shinigami?"

He laughed again hysterically

"Light Yagami your lover boy never mentioned you had a sense of humor, it looks like you have done your research"

"B, are you a Shinigami?" I asked him again

"No, I am not a Shinigami you stupid fucking idiot, I am the byproduct of one. You humans are so fucking stupid, you think that you can do what you like; you think that everything will always work out despite obvious problems. Like my stupid mother who thought she could have sex with a God and not expect to fall pregnant and give birth to two FUCKED UP DEFECTIVE CHILDREN, you see Light you and my mother have something in common you both believe that no matter how different two people are things can still work out, well you are wrong. You and my brother thought your lives were perfect? You think just because your two males it doesn't mean it won't work out, well you are wrong Light Yagami because either way one of you will die, your brain matter will be plastered on my wall and I will wear your skin as a FUCKING COAT"

Then silence, he hung up. At least from that one conversation I had learned several things, One was that B had Shinigami blood in him there for Lawliet most likely had too, Two was that he was excessively pissed off that his mother had believed that love could work out regardless of whom or rather what it was so that told me B had never felt love or been loved which would make him vulnerable to loving gestures or words and three he had said my walls, not the walls which told me that he was keeping Lawliet in his home, it wasn't just some building, it was somewhere he felt safe and confident and four, he had divulged a lot of information to me which meant he never had anyone to talk to or listen to, the more questions I asked him the more he would tell me only because it was someone to talk to. I was starting to piece together B, psychopathic as he was I began to see that there was a complexity about him that had shared with Lawliet, if I could crack the complex shell around Lawliet and get to the gooey center then I was going to be able to do that to B as well. This had started to become interesting.


	13. Chapter 13

**Big Hello to my new followers The Devil Massacre and ILOVEGAARA thank you so much for your support ^.^ Thank you everyone who has posted a review I will do my best to keep this updated as quickly as possible. Just a quick Warning this chapter does contain some pretty graphic violence, please if you are squeamish in any way please be aware that it is towards middle of this chapter.**

I kept looking down at my watch and then up to the sky waiting for dawn to break first light. I hadn't slept in quite some time and I had begun to fear that it was going to take its toll on me. If I was going to end up going head to head with B than I was going to have to keep my wits about me, especially if I was going to try and find a way to outsmart him, there was no time to rest but I had to try and keep my sanity. It had been a few hours since I had heard from B and I was sure that was still watching me, he was like the wind, he was only in one place and yet everywhere at once, watching me like a hungry hawk looking down at its prey waiting to see what the next move was. I had once played a game of chess with Lawliet that was similar to this, he always had the right moves, he was always one step in front of me and somehow he was able to watch my facial expressions to judge what I was going to do next and watch the board at the same time. It was extremely intense at the time, the way he studied me and the way he mapped out everything was pure genius, that was the Lawliet that I fell in love with, he had turned me on that day more than I could ever imagined being turned on by just looking at him. Of course it was well before we had admitted our love for each other but it was needless to say that once he won the game I wasn't able to move for quite some time until the evidence in my pants that I was very aroused had disappeared. Of course if I knew then what I had come to know I would have gladly pointed it out to him, I was sure that he would have been more than happy with the situation.

The sun was slowly beginning to rise; the yellow beams of light shone through the broken fluffy white clouds and began to illuminate the ground beneath me, the shadows slowly creeping away. It was time to do what B had commanded me to. I didn't want to kill a cop, I didn't want to have to take a life but I had to think like a psychopath, I had to think about what I wanted to do, what I had to do in order to get my way. If killing an officer meant that I saved Lawliet in the end then I was going to do it. I began to walk out of the park and towards the main street that was already jammed up with vehicles, people honking their horns and swearing out their open windows, trying to get the line to budge with no luck. I had taken the phone out of my pocket and I dialed 119 to report a false emergency. I wasn't sure what I was going to say but I needed to get a cop out to where I was. I placed the phone against my ear; I could hear the blood rushing around inside of me, my heart pounding hard against my chest bone and my mouth suddenly becoming dry. I waited for the operator to answer; it was almost as if by fate that I had noticed a familiar looking vehicle caught half way in the traffic jam. I hung up the phone and looked around me; it was completely daylight now so I needed to take one last look at the buildings that surrounded me to see if he was visible, I scanned the buildings quickly making sure that I paid attention to anything that would suggest I was being watched from a distance. Once I had a quick look and couldn't see anything, I made my way to the car. A police vehicle.

My footsteps were quick and heavy on the pavement and then bitumen as I power walked to the car. I couldn't back out of this, I had to do what needed to be done, whether Lawliet would ever forgive me or not it was his life or the officers and I was going to make sure that Lawliet came out of this unscathed. I weaved my way through the parked cars, every so often jumping at the sudden sound of a car horn or someone yelling or swearing in Japanese. I took a deep breath and put on a false smile, bending down and knocking on the window of the police vehicle. The officer wound down the window and stared at me.

"Get back to your car sir" He said firmly

I smiled widely at him

"I don't have a car you fucking wanker" I replied never losing my smile.

I would have never spoken like that to any authority figure, but without using violence I wasn't sure what else to do. The cop gave me a hard stern look and got out of the car. He must have been on his way to the station to start his shift

"What did you say boy?" he asked

"I said I don't have a car you FUCK-ING WANK-ER" I replied

I had felt sick to the pit of my stomach I couldn't believe what I was doing since I myself was a detective and I had honored any man that defended his country against filth. They were all my idols. He started to come towards me with handcuffs. This was the only chance I had to do what B had demanded I do. I pulled the gun from my waistband and held it up to his head. He paused with a frightened look on his face and put his hands in the air. My hands were slightly shaky and my vision somewhat blurred by the rush of adrenaline that was pulsating through my body like a miniature electrical storm.

"Put the gun down boy, there is no need for alarm, I just want to talk OK" He spoke to me calmly and quietly, not making a move. He was doing what I had been trying to do with B, build a rapport, try and calm the situation so that nobody had got hurt, I wasn't going to be as easy fooled as what B was when he divulged that useful information to me.

"I don't want to do this but I have to" I said to him with a quiver in my voice.

"Listen you don't have to do anything stupid, just talk to me and lets see if we can work this out together OK, everything will be alright, kid"

"I'M NOT A FUCKING KID! I have to do this you don't understand"

"Well try me, maybe I will"

"I am sorry, I am really sorry, I wish I didn't have to but I have no choice"

I could feel tears welling in my eyes which only made my vision worse. My phone began to ring in my pocket, I pulled it out and answered it, not taking my eyes away from the frightened officer and still managing to aim the pistol at his head

"What?" I asked angrily

"Time is ticking Light Yagami, you have thirty seconds to kill that cop and if you breathe one word to him about my little game I will kill L right now"

"I am doing it, don't hurt him!" I said loudly

Then silence fell, he had hang up. I placed the phone back into my pocket, my eyes still fixed on the cop as I searched blindly for my pocket, once finding it I slipped the phone back into it. I took another step towards the petrified officer and pressed the barrel against his head.

"Please forgive me, I have no choice, I need to save Lawliet"

I closed my eyes shut and pulled the trigger. I took a deep breath and I opened my eyes again and watched the body hit the floor. Moist, damp, slimy debris had hit me in the face and torso. I could feel the blood and brain matter running down my face and neck, some of the blood had sprayed against the car. I had to snap myself out of what I had just done, I was completely paralyzed but if I didn't run then I knew I would be caught, every single person in that jam would have heard the gun shot. I tucked the gun back into my waist band and I ran. I had ran faster than I had earlier that night, I raced to get to my car and to take off before anyone could see the getaway vehicle. I was in a complete panic, I wanted to throw up and I wanted to shoot myself. I couldn't believe what I had just done, I really killed a cop. I knew that I had said that when it came down to it I would gladly kill for Lawliet, but not like this and not an officer. I could feel my throat fill with liquid and large chunks of fear. I needed to pull over and throw up or just to scream. I pulled the car up on the side of the road and rushed to undo my seat belt. I stood on the road and yelled loudly; making dogs all around the neighborhood start to bark and people to yell from their windows. I placed my face in my hands and quickly moved them when I could feel the liquid trying to escape my mouth. I hung my head and let my body do what it had to in order to try and shake even a slightest bit of what I had done. My phone began to ring again; I wiped my mouth and answered it

"What! What the fuck more do you want I just killed a fucking cop you sick son of a bitch" I yelled down the receiver end

"I know I was watching, quite a good show Light Yagami, who would have ever thought such a pretty boy could be such a brutal killer, tell me something Light Yagami how does it feel to have a cops brain all over you face?" Then his evil laugh

"It feels like fucking shit, what the hell do you think you sick demented psychopath"

"I have to say Light Yagami I am impressed by the lengths you are taking to get your precious Lawliet back. But you know I think I may be getting bored of this little game, I would quite like to meet you in person" he replied

"Then tell me where, where do you want me to go" I almost begged

I was tired, mentally and emotionally exhausted. I knew Lawliet was going to hate me for killing the cop and I just wanted to go home or die which ever was in store for me. I was a cold blooded killer, and the worst thing was that cop had only been one of hundreds I had killed, but he was the first that had died by me pulling a trigger. I was going to have to get rid of that gun once we got home, if I was even going to get that far. If I was lucky everybody in the jam was too focused on the traffic to notice me and I was going to get away with what I had done. I had to stop thinking like a child, had to stop letting my emotions take over; I had to think like a killer. I was Kira once upon a time, a sick, power hungry man that didn't care who had died and that was the mentality I needed in that moment, I could feel like shit later but I had to get Lawliet back, that was my only goal.

"I will give you one last clue Light Yagami and this time if you do as much as reach for your phone unless it is to answer it, if you share this with anyone I will kill them. You are going to find out what my real name is Light Yagami, you are going to find out my name and then I will tell you where you can find us; you will have no more than two hours to make the discovery yourself. I want to hear my name being said with fear and repentance from one murderer to another, Good luck Light Yagami" He replied

"Wait!" I yelled before he hung up the phone

"Yes what is it?" He asked

"Will you let me speak with L, please just for a moment. I want to know that he is OK. I don't see how my request is unreasonable"

There was silence for a brief moment

"Light?" Lawliet whispered. He sounded exhausted and unwell, B would have been treating him like shit, and he was probably severely beaten and chained up like an animal. I could just feel it in his voice he was not alright and that had scared me.

"Lawliet, I am sorry I had to do what I needed to do, Law' I love you please hold on, I am coming for you" I said to him quietly

"The first time I saw you I loved you Light, the first"

The phone went silent and I had smiled.

It was just after I had started killing as Kira, even when Lawliet had suspected me he had come up with a plan that he had shared with me. He was more than confident that he was going to be killed and so he had gathered up every piece of information he had on himself and had stored it away in a computer file that he had linked to my email account. He hadn't told me the password but had said he would tell me before he knew his time was up. He wanted me to at least remember him and know everything there was to know about him. He had always been private but after he had told me that I was his only and best friend he said even if he didn't tell me, I deserved to know the real him. He had just given me the password to access those files without it having being obvious. Lawliet would not have said the sentence the way that he had, I knew in my gut that was the go to access the files, B's real name had to be in there too, it had to be. Lawliet was going to solve his own kidnapping and I was just the puppet, I didn't care that Lawliet was providing me with the leverage, I knew that it would have taken me more than two hours to find out that information and by accessing the file I was going to know everything about B, and I was going to take that son of a bitch down.


	14. Chapter 14

I never really fully grasped how well I could multitask. I was keeping an eye on the time and reading through Lawliet's files he had linked to my email account. I had managed to find a small public library that had open access computers, I was easily able to find the files that Lawliet had sent me and I typed in "The First" as a pass code and it let me enter. I had sorted through the first few folders with no luck, it was all the information that I had already known about him. I could feel my eyes starting to get heavy and I was extremely worried about the boys, I could only imagined what they must have been going through, things changed so quickly for them and everything went from Heaven to Hell in a matter of days. I clicked on the next folder and had a look through some of the scans that had been newspaper clippings.

"Tragedy strikes Winchester, mother found murdered alongside mysterious dust, gifted children left orphans" I read to myself

I enlarged the page and began to read the document through. It had read that a mother of two had been murdered and had a mound of mysterious unidentifiable silver dust had been found next to her body. Her twin sons had remained unharmed and had been taking into care by a Quilish Wammy, also known locally as Watari, founder of Wammy house, an orphanage for gifted children. This had to be Lawliet and B's mother. It was kind of hard to imagine that Lawliet once had parents, I had only known him as being parent less, this must have been the first thing that had caused him to sink deep into his shell, and were he had started not to trust people

"What about the mysterious dust?"

I tried to imagine what it could possibly be. There must have been a decent amount for the reporter to describe it as a mound, unless of course they were exaggerating which was a high possibility but still I couldn't help but wonder why Lawliet's mother would be found dead next to a silver dust. There was the possibility that she had been using powdered silver as a recreational drug and possibly just died of an over dose, but then anyone who was smart wouldn't leave evidence lying around that they were on drugs. No there was another explanation for this.

"What is your name B, it has to be here somewhere"

I scrolled through the next few pages and paused when I had come across something I had seen before. A photograph. It had been the same photograph that we found in the house, the torn one with a bandaged arm hanging off of Lawliet's shoulders. I had little less than half an hour to go before I had to find his name. The picture was of two dark haired boys, completely identical except for the one on the left, his eyes a glowing red. It had been of Lawliet and B. I had seen something in the photo behind B that had caught my eye; it was writing or letters with a drawn picture of some sort. I squinted to see if I could make out what it had said but with no prevail. I clicked on the small magnifying glass icon and clicked on the writing. The picture enlarged but it had been much too blurry, I had to fix it to see if it was of any importance, I didn't have time but I needed to know.

I had been quite capable of using computers, I had worked alongside Lawliet long enough to have learned plenty from him. I moved the mouse over to a button that had looked like a magic wand and I clicked it. The image suddenly became clear. It was an incredible drawing of Lawliet and B with two names written above it L Lawliet and Beyond Birthday. I had to be reading it wrong surely that was not B's name, it couldn't be and even it was it had to be a nickname, a nickname was not going to help me. I had to shake my head and sift through the other folders to try and find something of use. I looked at the time and I had started to panic. I could feel my temperature rising as the time drew nearer, I had no idea what B's name was and I was just about out of time. I ran my fingers through my hair, pulling hard trying to punish myself for not being about to do this, what if Lawliet lost his life because of this, he trusted me to find out his brother's name and I failed him. I was completely shattered; I had been broken down to a point where death had started to look pretty great to me. I was just going to have to bargain with B to take my life instead, I was going to have to tell him that I didn't know his name and that I would gladly be the one to take Lawliet's place, even though it would mean I would be gone forever and never be with Lawliet or see the boys ever again, I would become a memory that one day would be forgotten. I just wanted to give up. I was completely exhausted, I didn't know what was left and what was right, I must have missed something in one of the folders that I completely ignored because I was too impatient or too worried about finding an answer just so I could have a few moments sleep. I had enough of B's childish games and I needed this to end even if it meant Law' and the kids carried on living without me. I deleted the folders and logged out of the computer, resting back into the chair. I closed my eyes and I could hear the kid's voices in my head, I could see my family like it was all flashing by me. I could feel Lawliet's body against mine, holding him tightly, feeling his heart beating against mine. I could taste his lips pressed against me and his sweet scent wrapping itself around me squeezing me, indulging me. I could feel his hands on my body as I kissed the hollow of his neck. I could hear every breath, every moan every noise of want and desire caught in his throat. I was never going to have that again. I didn't open my eyes when I felt the warm wet trickles running from them. I could feel my heart being torn into two just knowing that this was going to be my last day on earth, I didn't even get to say goodbye to my boys. The more I thought about what I was going to miss out on the more the tears streamed down my face and dripped onto the carpeted floor beneath me. My phone began to ring in my pocket, I slowly reached in and grabbed it, and I didn't even bother to wipe away the tears when I answered it

"Yeah" I said with heartache caught in my throat

"So Light Yagami do you know my name?" he asked me

I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders

_Eh, what the hell _ I had thought to myself, at least one of my final acts was going to make what was going to be my future brother in law laugh

"Your name is Beyond Birthday" I said almost humoring myself too

There was silence on the other end

"Well Light Yagami, I have to admit you have surprised me"

I raised my head, shock flushed over me like a tidal wave, could that seriously been B's name? no wonder he was so pissed off with the world with a fucked up name like Beyond Birthday

"Congratulations Light Yagami, you have progressed I will now tell you my location. I suggest you come alone Light and I hope you will be smart enough not to tell anyone where you are going. I don't want anyone to find your body for weeks" He said sadistically

"I don't really give fuck what you do to me at this point B, chop me into little pieces and throw me to the sharks if you must but you have to let L go free and you will keep your promise and you will never harm him or my kids ever" I mumbled, almost too exhausted to even talk

"I intend on keeping my promise Light, You will meet us at fifty four, Sakura West drive in twenty minutes, the door will be unlocked. I must admit I am looking forward to meeting and killing you Light Yagami" The phone went silent.

I managed to pull myself up off the chair and drag myself out of the library and out to where I had parked my car. I could hear sirens blazing in the distance, they would have found that cop by now and cleaned up the crime scene and asking for witnesses. I suppose it was all for the best that B was going to kill me, I rather be dead then in prison for killing a cop. I punched in the address into the GPS system that sat on dashboard, it had calculated that it was going to take thirty minutes to get to the address that B had given me so it meant yet another battle against the clock and another risky lot of driving skills to get there in twenty. I had felt like a zombie at that point, I was only functioning on auto pilot, doing what I needed to do but my body only half co-operating, I was completely drained. I drove through the busy streets like a mad man, I didn't care for stop signs or red lights I just did what I had to do. I suppose my earlier task of killing that cop had come in handy, all the other cops in the district had been out there taking care of business and interviewing witnesses that they had forgot to put out standard traffic cops to monitor the dangerous roads. I was excited that I was going to see Lawliet again, even though I was sure he would be near on dying himself, there was no way B would have taken care of his brother. B was a psychopathic fruit cake with extra nuts, he would have tried to force L to love him and when he didn't get his own way he probably used Lawliet as a punching bag or worse. I couldn't even think about anything more at that point, I just pictured Lawliet and drove as fast as I could to him.

I had stopped once the GPS had informed me that I had reached my destination. I looked at the clock I still had five minutes to get out of the car and drag my tired body to the door and find Lawliet. I had been so confident that I would be alive and awake to give B a decent battle, to give him something he would be sorry for but I had started to realize that he was going to win. I would roll over and let him kill me without a fight. All I could hope for in that moment was a sudden burst of adrenaline, maybe that would come once I knew Lawliet was still alive and I could still save him. I exited the car and made my way to the building, it was a single standalone apartment, surrounded by a few empty warehouses that had looked like they had been unused for quite some time. I still had the blood and bits of brain matter on me from the cop I was also covered in sweat and tears, I had to laugh when I found myself wondering if B would let me have a shower before killing me. There was nothing funny about my death, only just what seemed like a reasonable request to me was probably excessively unreasonable to him. I turned to door knob on the door and slowly entered, closing it behind me

"L" I called out as loudly as my voice would let me.

"We are in here Light Yagami, follow my voice" B replied

I did exactly as he said I followed the somewhat ghostly voice. I had walked into another room that was lit up by the sun streaming in the windows, it was almost blinding. I focused my eyes to the floor and saw two bare feet in the shadows. I quickly dropped to the floor and scurried over to where the feet were.

"Law'" I said as I grabbed them.

They moved and wiggled away from me

"Law it's me"

"BOO!" a sudden voice yelled at me. I stumbled back a few inches, the feet had belonged to an evil face with bright red eyes, B. He was worse than I imagined him to look, he looked so much like L in the photo that I was shocked to see his face covered in scars and bandages, pure evilness pouring out of him like thick black oil

"What's the matter Light Yagami did I scare you?" He laughed and stood up brushing dirt from off of his blue jeans

"Lover boy is over there, he is unconscious at the moment, and I will wake him up when the time is right"

I looked over to where B was pointing, it was a table resting in the shadows on the other side of the room. Lawliet was chained to it, hardly breathing, without his shirt covering what I could see was a bloody and cut torso. I cringed when I had realized that B had used him like a drawing pad and his pen had been a knife and possibly a lot of other sharp objects.

I pulled myself up from the ground, so that I could stare at the man who I hated with such passion that I could feel the rage boiling inside of me fuelling my body with the much needed adrenaline.

"What kind of fucked up name is Beyond Birthday" I asked him almost mimicking his laugh

"That is what happens when you have a Shinigami as a father, they have rather dry sense of humor" B replied. He reached over to a chair and pushed it towards me and grabbed one himself, turning it around so he could sit on it backwards. I sat down in the chair that he had pushed towards me.

"Yes I know, I am not a stranger to Shinigami" I said

"Hmm that is interesting, but not enough for me to really give a fuck. I have been thinking about this you know, ever since I took L from the house. He wasn't the one I wanted but it seems it has all worked in my favor anyway, which is great for me, not so great for you. As promised I will let him go and he will be free to go back home and your family will never have to see me again, that is of course if you give me your word that you will be my next victim"

"Like I said B, do whatever the fuck you want with me but you leave my family alone from this day on wards"

"Then we have a deal Light Yagami, I should really wake him up though, I wouldn't want him to miss out on me butchering you"

B stood up and walked over to Lawliet, I turned my head and I watched as he slapped his brother's cheeks

"Hey kid wake the fuck up, I got a surprise for you" He laughed his evil psychotic clown laugh

Lawliet's eyes started to flutter open he turned to face me. B started to unlock the padlocks that had held the chains around him and pull them off his body, he smiled sweetly at me, he was almost unrecognizable, his eyes were completely black and blue, blood had smeared all over his face, knife cuts in his cheeks, he had a bandage wrapped around his neck and ear. I could feel it tear up my heart when I looked at him. The adrenaline becoming stronger. B helped L to sit up.

"Did you lose your pet sir?" B asked me and started to laugh almost hysterically

"Well is that anyway to treat your master you mangy mutt, go and say hello"

B pushed Lawliet down to the ground from the table and dropped the chains and padlocks beside him. I quickly stood up and raced to his side, holding his broken, bruised and cut body in my arms.

"Lawliet can you hear me, hey stay with me OK, stay with me" I said gently stroking his hair and then cheek.

He looked up to me with his dark eyes that I had missed so much. I smiled down at him and held him close to me. Lawliet was not going to give up that easily. He had far more will then I or anyone else I knew had, he was a true fighter and he was not going to let B win over him. Lawliet, to me was God.

"Light?" He said quietly

"Yeah" I replied trying to fight back the tears

"I think he broke my leg, I guess that means my deductive skills have dropped by 40%" he said

I couldn't help but smile. He was still the same Lawliet what I assumed as the brink of death

I held him up to my ear

"I am alright Light, just let him become comfortable with you when the time is right I will kill him" He whispered extremely quietly, so much so that I could only barely make out the words

He made me smile again, he should have been a damned actor.

"Ok that's enough of this bullshit family reunion, Light Yagami let go of him and come sit in this chair, now" he demanded

I looked down at Lawliet and gently rested him on the floor and did as B asked. I got to my feet and walked to the chair and sat down again.

"I guess before I kill you, you have a few questions that you would like to ask" B said

"Is it that obvious?" I replied

He laughed lightly at me. He pulled his chair close to me and sat down facing me, staring at me with those red eyes.

"So Light what would you like to know?, perhaps how I had become like this, or perhaps the evil deeds my brother did or perhaps you would like to know who the real L Lawliet is and I can tell you I don't think you could love him after I tell you" B replied, he smiled at me

"Why would he feel responsible for your death if you are alive?" I asked him

He made a sound that was between superiority and tediousness.

"My death? Ha, that stupid son of bitch over there would never feel responsible for my death even if I had died. No it wasn't my death he has been feeling guilty about all these years, it was someone else" B replied

"Whose?" I asked

"I find it interesting that you haven't been able to work that out Light Yagami, well I will tell you. That low life over there, that pathetic excuse for a human being is no different than you or I, he is a cold blooded killer, see it wasn't just an accident that my mother and Shinigami father had died, those things just don't happen, if you in fact knew a Shinigami you would know they simply cannot be murdered, that they need to kill someone in order for them to die first. You see Light, my father had killed my mother and then he died himself and the only reason why that happened is because lover boy gave the ultimatum. Either kill yourselves or he was going to kill me, L Lawliet is a cold blooded, psychopathic, murderous man just like his little brother. Light Yagami you have been fucking a murderer all this time, how does that feel"


	15. Chapter 15

I could feel a laughter boiling up inside me, I wasn't sure what B was trying to play at but I had more on him then he could ever know and I also had a plan he would never see coming.

"Hmm fucking a killer? Well I guess B it feels the same as it always has, fan-fucking–tastic" I laughed almost as hysterically as he had laughed before.

"I am so glad you're enjoying yourself Light Yagami, I have been contemplating on how I am going to kill you, it's a hard decision to make you know, I can't decide whether to let you die slowly and painfully as I cut you apart or if I should just smash your skull in, or maybe I will leave you limbless and let the rats eat you alive, they all sound so tempting"

I smiled at him, almost mocking his childishness, I had wondered if his psychotic murderer appearance was just a façade, he was probably a very sweet person underneath the homicidal sociopath, or at least could be.

"Here's an idea why don't you have Lawliet kill me that way it can be another thing he has taken away from you, You pathetic scum. You think because you have no problems killing that you are superior, you think you can try and make me feel any different towards Lawliet? You will have to try better than trying to tell me that your brother killed your parents."

I looked down at Lawliet, he was still lying there, he flashed me a quick wink letting me know he was doing fine. I turned my concentration back to B and I leaned forward in the chair, grabbing his attention. His bright red Shinigami eyes reaching in a poking at my soul, taunting me. I may not have had the strength to fight but I was going to defeat him one way or another. My face was only a few inches away from his, we were breathing the same air. I knew that B had never been loved or cared about, which was why when I started to speak to him like one human would to another he quickly opened up without hindrances. I knew that if I could charm him then he would be as good as broken and Lawliet would have the opportunity to take control of the situation. If Lawliet was responsible for their parent's death, then that was what he had felt guilty about the other night. Even if he had killed them with his own hands it didn't make any difference to me, killer or not he was still my Lawliet.

"Let me ask you something B, have you ever had a friend before, have you ever had someone love you before, have you ever even been kissed before?" I asked him quietly leaning in closer to him, my lips almost touching his. He didn't move he just sat there, his eyes almost fading to a complete blank. It had been the first time he had even been this close to another human being, I could feel it working, any moment I was going to take the win.

"Psychopaths don't need love only death and blood" he replied to me quietly, still not moving

"You and I have a lot in common you know B, we have both killed simply because we could, it's a thrill isn't it B, to take someone's life with your own hands, to have the power running through you like a million volt current. Having their blood all over your hands and face, lapping it up like a hungry wolf, starving, wanting more. Watching someone beg as they breathe their last breath to you, pleading for you to stop and knowing you have the power to do as you want to that person. Let me ask you B, have you ever choked someone while you fucked them? Have you ever seen the look of fear in their eyes because they don't know if they are going to live or die while you penetrate them, hard, deep and furious with passion and complete dominance. Do you want to know how many times I have done that to your murderous brother?"

I had never done such a thing to Lawliet, I never had done anything like that to anyone but he was completely captivated. I spoke softly and calmly mimicking not only Lawliet's but B's monotone voice. He had looked at me like I had put him in a trance, hanging on every single word of mine.

"I beat the absolute fuck out of him once before I fucked him, his blood was all over me. You know what B, it gave me the hardest, hottest, throbbing cock, it made me want to cum and cum and cum until I fucked him unconscious, do you know how good that feels B, to be fucked like that?"

I felt disgusted in myself for what I was saying, none of that was me but it did start to sound a lot like what Kira would say, B would adore Kira and the more he clung to what I was saying, the more I could feel Kira coming out. It was an uncontrollable force, as much as I tried to stop it, I knew that if I kept going Kira would come out and I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to stop myself from killing not only B but Lawliet too. He hadn't even blinked yet, I had to ignore his eyes, if I could seduce him while thinking of L it would be as easy as cake. I just had ignore the color of his eyes, he looked exactly like L in every single way, he even had the same gleam of desire in his eyes that Lawliet had when he wanted me inside him.

"I have had a change of heart Light Yagami, I have a proposition for you"

B said softly without pulling away from me

"Go on, I'm listening" I replied starting to feel more like myself and less like Kira

"You will stay here, as my pet and he will go free. You will do what I say when I say it and you will be my bitch, I will do what I want with you and if you so much as complain I will fucking kill you, do we have an agreement?" B asked

I nodded my head and pressed my lips against his, taking his tongue and pulling it into my mouth. He was scared and I was disgusted, his entire body trembled and I could feel him trying to pull away from me but physically unable to. He closed his eyes and devoured my mouth. For a psychopath who had never been kissed before he really did have a natural knack for it, to me it felt exactly like Lawliet it was hard for me to try and continually convince myself that it was B I was kissing and not my fiancé. I pulled my mouth away from his a trail of saliva dragged between our mouths. I looked into his eyes, trying to see what he felt. I brushed his black hair away from his face and I smiled sweetly at him.

"I promise I will take care of you" I said to him

He stood up and pulled me up out of my chair. He grabbed me around the throat with one hand and around my hip with the other, forcing me against the wall. I couldn't deny it, making out with B was giving me mixed emotions, I hated him, I wanted him dead I wanted to strangle the fucking nut right there and then and yet a part of me wanted more, more of him. I had to try and stay focused if L was going to kill him then I had to make sure that B stayed fixated on me the whole time, I couldn't risk him seeing Lawliet get up and make any movements that would indicate a preemptive strike. If Lawliet was watching any of this I knew it would be killing him, but I had B in the perfect position, he was completely vulnerable and as soon as I could convince him that I wanted to be his first lover then he would be wide open for whatever Lawliet had planned for him.

I reached up his shirt and ran my hands along his torso, his pale skin bunching into small goose bumps against my palms. He loosened his hand around my neck and dropped it to the waistband of my track suit pants. He rested them there, I was worried that the gun I had tucked into my pants was going to fall and it would all be over for Lawliet and myself. I had to distract him, I placed my right hand on the button and zip of his jeans, it amazed me that even for grown twins who didn't even see each other how they could dress exactly alike. I loosened the pants and watched as the fell to the ground and around his ankles.

"Do you want me to fuck you B, do want me deep inside you?" I asked him whispering into his ear

He didn't have to say anything the grip he had on me was enough to tell me he really did want me. I knew it from the moment we spoke B was not very smart at all, hell bent on destruction and hatred had made his mind fogged, he probably could have been just as great as Lawliet but he had let the past run his life and made him the bitter, evil man that he was. I felt somewhat bad for him, everything he was missing out on, a brother, a brother in law and nephews. _Stupid, stupid Beyond Birthday, you have no idea all that you could have had._

I was starting to feel the guilt of feeling like I was cheating on the man I had loved completely, and while he was in the room. I didn't know if he was going to be able to forgive me for what I was doing and to someone so despicable and so evil. I was prepared for him to end up leaving me, providing we both got out of this alive. I knew that Lawliet had loved me and I knew there was nothing he wouldn't do for me but I didn't know if he was going to be able to handle the fact that I was only minutes away from fucking his sick brother. I grabbed B's hand and pulled him towards me, stepping out of his pants as he allowed me to walk him across to the table where Lawliet had been pulled off from. I could see the chains that B had wrapped around Lawliet while he was on the table and I could see my lover pulling himself off the floor. I looked down at him as I twisted B in my arms so he was now bent over the table with his back against me. I couldn't let him know that Lawliet was making it to his feet so i slipped my hand under the waist band of his silk shorts and I began to rub B's hardened member, as soon as I touched it, I felt dirty and disgusted with myself, even though his kisses were great now that I was actually touching him, I wanted to chop my own hands off. He lowered himself down to the table more, his arms were becoming weak

Lawliet grabbed the chain as quietly as possible, it was lucky that B's loud moans had blocked out most of the noise. L raised completely to his feet. I kept rubbing B's hard member but moved off to the side as Lawliet came close to us. I suddenly let go and Lawliet wrapped the chain around B's throat. I tried to wipe my hand on my pants, even though I knew it wouldn't make me feel any less disgusted in myself, I looked down to make sure that I hadn't become turned on in the procedure of making out with the mental Shinigami eyed fruit cake. I was as flaccid as a drooping, dying flower.

I watched as L pulled on the chain and B struggling to breathe. I could only imagine how much L had been wanting to do that, after all the torture he had suffered whilst under B's command. I could imagine how much he had to go through. The blood, bruises and cuts all over him had been definitive proof that he had been badly mistreated, I could only imagine how much he would have wanted sweets while he was choking his twin. I watched as B had become floppy against L. Lawliet pulled away the chain and watched as B dropped to the floor with a thud, he was still breathing so I knew he was just unconscious

"Light, help me pick him up and put him in the chair" Lawliet said.

I did as he asked and helped L pull his brother off the floor and sit him in the chair. I grabbed the chain and began to wrap it around the unconscious body and around the back and the legs of the chair as securely as possible and locked it in place with a padlock.

"Lawliet, I am sorry, I didn't know what else to do, I didn't want to hurt you but—" I said pulling him into my arms. I held him firmly, he had winced under the pressure and loosened my arms forgetting how sore he must have been

"Light, you do not need to apologize, I of all people understand the extreme steps one has to take in order to achieve the goal they set out for. I do not blame you at all, I am grateful. You risked your life to come for me, you did things that I know will most probably haunt you for the rest of your life. I am 100% sure that will suffer much longer then I will have to. What you have done for me is something I will not forget. You are my hero Light and all I want to do is get out of this disturbing place, go home pack up our lives with the children, move away and marry you"

I leaned into his mouth and kissed him. The kiss was of complete love and admiration. I had missed him so much and this was all I had wanted, to have him safe and alive and I was even going to make it to live another day. I could feel how much he appreciated what I had done for him in the way that he had kissed me, so much more desirable then B's. He pulled away and smiled at me the best that he could. He began to head for the door. I took another look at B, he was starting to stir and it had stopped L in his tracks. We both stood there staring at B as he came too, realizing he was chained up securely, he tried to struggle out of the strong hold of the iron.

"I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU, I WILL RIP OUT YOUR FUCKING THROAT AND I WILL EAT YOU ALIVE" he yelled glaring straight at me, the truth was he did look completely frightening. Those Shinigami eyes had sent a shiver down my spine.

I rolled my eyes at him, trying to shake the shiver. I walked up to him and reached into my pants and retrieved the gun that I had tucked into my underwear just in case I needed it. I pulled it out and pointed the barrel right in between his eyes. Lawliet came a stood beside me and laced his arms around my free one. He pushed his body against mine tightly, just staring down at his brother. B's gaze switched from mine to L's

"You killed my mother, you killed my father and yet you stand without the world on your shoulders, where is the justice in that?, you deserve to die, you deserve to suffer. I am glad that those cuts will heal to scars so you are constantly reminded of me" B growled through clenched teeth. Lawliet let go of my arm and walked to his brother, kneeling down on his knees and placing his hand on B's.

"I didn't kill our parents B, I had nothing to do with how they died. You did. You had been the reason our father had killed our mother, you knew that he would crumble to dust. I didn't have anything to do with their deaths B you did, you had been so riddled with guilt that what you saw in your mind was the complete opposite. You could have had it all B, you could had everything. You screwed up, you made the mistakes, not me. I have felt responsible for too long for something you did, because I had hoped if I had carried that burden then you wouldn't and you would lose the hate you have with in you. I was so very wrong B, I love you but you have to die" Lawliet stood up and grabbed the gun out of my hands

Their father had been the mysterious silver dust that was besides their mother's body that was written in that newspaper article I had found.

He pressed the gun against his brother's skull

"Goodbye Shinigami B" he said quietly, he closed his eyes and he pulled the trigger.


	16. Chapter 16

**Hello followers and favoriters, I am so sorry it has taken me a little while to update. I haven't been feeling to well and been a bit off of my A game but I have finally written chapter sixteen so please enjoy and chapter seventeen will be up soon. Also big hello to my new follower Wickedicecream thankyou for your support ^.^ X Quinn **

The sound of hysterical mad laughing echoed through the room Lawliet and I opened our eyes, they suddenly filled with shock and horror as B raised his head, completely unharmed

"You two are really fucking stupid, you don't listen a single word that gets said, I'm have Shinigami blood mother fuckers, you can't kill me"

Another lot of laughing penetrated us, how could have been so stupid?, of course a bullet would have done no harm to Beyond Birthday, what could have we been thinking?

"Yes I can" Lawliet suddenly said

B looked at him curiously as he turned to face me

"Light, the Death Note, did you burn it all?" Lawliet asked me

"Yes, I told you that I was going to" I said almost defensively

"I wonder if it would be possible that not all of it was burnt, could it be possible that there is enough blank paper that has been untouched by the flames to be able to write his name on it." He said to me quietly

I had very little doubts, the fire often burned on and off for days, it was going to be a less than 1% chance that there was going to be any trace of it left

"I don't know L, I doubt it" I replied

"But it is worth taking the chance in case there is right, if there is we can end this all now, it will all be over and we can continue to live our lives" he said looking at me with wide-ish puppy dog eyes, the bruising around his eyes and made them look a lot less wide then they were normally

"You're right; I will go back to the house and see if I can retrieve even just a small piece. It is worth a go"

Lawliet nodded. I kissed his forehead and started to leave the room.

"Stay" I said pointing at B who gave me a demented smile.

I couldn't almost quite believe that I was traveling back home just to see if there was enough paper. I was exhausted that I was sure I was going to end up falling asleep at the wheel if I didn't keep focused on the task at hand. I had prayed silently that this was going to work and I had hoped the boys were alright and had managed to stay out of trouble. I was 100% sure that no one had seen the car after I had killed the cop so I should have been safe driving through the streets, back home.

It was a miracle that I managed to stay alive the drive back. The house was completely silent when I arrived home; it left a sinking feeling in my stomach. I climbed up the stair case and to the front door, unlocking it with my key card. I peered my head through. The house was just as it was when I left, except for the pile of dishes in the sink; at least I knew that had eaten

"BOYS?" I yelled out

Suddenly the sound of stomping feet came running into the lounge room and all three of the jumping at me latching on.

"Where is Daddy L?, is he alive?, what happened?, where is he?, why were you gone so long?" Mello asked as quickly as his brain would let him speak.

"He is fine boys, everything is fine. He will be coming home shortly. I just need to get something and I will go and get him" I replied.

I tried to move as best as I could with the boys attached to me. It was a sigh of relief that I had turned off the fire place before I had left to go to Osaka that first time. I dragged myself with the kids still attached to me to the fire place and I began to rummage through the ashes looking for even a small piece. My eyes widen as I saw a piece that was about the size of a mini milk pot, the ones that Lawliet drank straight from whenever we went to coffee houses.

"Pen" I said,

I felt Near detach from me and run and grabbed a pen from the desk and handed it to me, I took off the lid, I was about to put the pen to the paper when I had a second thought. I knew that Lawliet should be the one to do this, not myself. I placed the cap back on and put the paper and the pen into my tracksuit pants pocket

"Alright I have to go again and get your dad" I said to the boys standing up

"We are coming with you" Matt said forcefully

"Yeah we are coming with you, you can leave us alone again, that's child neglect" Mello replied

"You really have no choice in the matter, we are coming with you whether you like it or not" Near said looking at me with discontent in his dark eyes

"The car only has two seats

"Shotgun!" Matt called out

"I will sit on Matt's lap and Near can sit on yours and when Dad gets in Near can be put in the boot" Mello replied

"I will put you in the boot" Near argued

"Yeah how are you going to make me?"

"Enough! Alright, if you are coming get in the car now, we are leaving"

At least their company meant plenty more arguing and debating that would surely keep me awake. It was a relief to finally feel like things were going to go back to normal. At least somewhat anyway. I knew that my soul had been tainted after I killed the innocent officer, which was something that was going to plague me until my death. It was going to be the one thing I would see repeatedly in my mind when I slept, I could feel it.

I was sure that I was going to die, I was sure that L and the boys would go on to live without me and I was sure that even though it would have B to kill me it was probably Karma, I don't know what it was, I couldn't explain it but a part of me was somewhat disappointed. I by no means wanted to die, I didn't want to be stripped from this world or from what I had gained but maybe I had believed that death is what I deserved.

"Light, it's been a while" I heard a low growling voice.

I could feel him looking over my shoulder, just hovering there

"Ryuk, I was wondering if I would see you again, I was sure even with the small piece of the Death Note you would appear again at some point"

"Who is he talking to?" Mello turned to ask Matt who shrugged his shoulders

It hadn't even occurred to me that the boys would not be able to see Ryuk; they had probably thought I had finally lost my mind

"Have you become mentally unstable?" Near asked me

We had climbed into the car, Matt had sat down first with Mello on his lap, and I had got into the driver's seat and Near had crawled onto mine. I was lucky that he was so small so he didn't weigh a lot, it would have been hell on my already exhausted legs.

"No I have not become mentally unstable; I am talking to a Shinigami"

Near made a snickering sound at me and Matt and Mello just stared at me like I had really lost my mind

"Who are these small humans?" Ryuk asked his gaze going from Near to Mello and then to Matt

"They are my small humans, my sons, Near, Mello and Matt"

"Light are you saying that you had children in the short time I haven't seen you, how is that possible?"

I slapped myself in the face; it was like having a very stupid, very annoying fourth child.

"I didn't have them, they came into our custody"

I could feel not only confused eyes of Ryuk's on me but the boys had been looking at me just as confused and with concern, I couldn't believe that they had really thought I was crazy, but to them I was simply having a one sided conversation with nothing. I suppose I would have looked crazy and after everything I had been through in the last forty eight hours it would have been plausible.

"Our?" Ryuk asked

I was becoming frustrated; I didn't have time for the Shinigami's non-sense. I started the car and drove off in a hurry with Ryuk still hovering above my head

"Mine and Ryuzaki's, L's" I sighed

"HA! You mean the same guy you were trying to kill?"

"Things change Ryuk, a lot has changed since we last spoke, and things are different now. I have a much greater enemy and L and I are lovers" I tried to explain in simple terms

"Well, humans really are interesting" Ryuk replied giving a loud, deep laugh

Feeling his eyes on me had reminded me of B, a thought that left my skin bunching into goose bumps

"Ryuk?"

"Yeah?" he managed to stop laughing long enough to answer me

"Is it possible for a Shinigami to breed with a human resulting in offspring?" I asked

"Hmm, it's hard to say, since I have never had the urge or felt such a thing for a human I really wouldn't know, but I suppose it could happen. Why do you ask? Are you concerned about one of the miniature humans DNA origins?" He asked

I had to pause, why would he say such a thing? Why would he make an assumption that I was concerned about where the boys had come from? I had to admit I was curious as to who their birth parents were and what they must have been like for them to turn out the way they had. I had suddenly become extremely concerned, if a Shinigami and a human could bear a child, which was clearly evident because of B, then how many other humans have bred with Shinigami and bore children. Lawliet is a byproduct of a human-Shinigami relationship too but with no physical traits of being so, was it possible that Ryuk could sense Shinigami in one of the boys? Without neither myself nor Lawliet knowing? After all we knew nothing of their birth parents. I was now extremely worried.

"Ryuk if you can sense something you need to tell me now"

I tried to make it so the boys didn't know that Ryuk and I were talking about them. They were probably having a hard time trying to understand that I wasn't crazy and that I was actually talking to another physical being, but without them touching the paper they were only hearing my side of the conversation.

"I will tell you if you give me an apple" Ryuk started his insane laughter again

"DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE A FUCKING APPLE RYUK!?" I yelled and then quickly closed my mouth

I couldn't believe I had just sworn in front of the kids. I felt an incredible amount of guilt

"You do realize that you just cursed didn't you?" Near asked me looking at me with judgmental dark eyes

"Yes I know, I am sorry just please try and ignore what I said" I almost begged quietly and as lovingly as possible

"You shouldn't swear dad, it's not only unnecessary but it also makes you look intellectually ugly" Near carried on

Intellectually ugly? What on earth had he been exposed to be able to come up with such non-sense?, I had to forget about that and find out what Ryuk was hiding. I knew there was something, as one of their parents I needed to know if one of our boys had also been born with Shinigami blood. There was no guarantee that if one of them were that they were going to end up a mentally unstable crazy psychopath like B but then there was also a chance that they would be something like that. None of them had a red tint to their eyes but neither did Lawliet, all of the questions I had were distracting me at the task at hand. I would have to go to L first and interrogate Ryuk later.

After an hour in busy traffic and having to listen to the boys argue and Ryuk peering over my shoulder listening into their conversations, laughing every now and then when one of them threw a clever insult at one another, we arrived back at the building where I had left Lawliet and B, who was hopefully still chained up. I knew that Lawliet was firm and he did what he had to get the desired result but I also knew how compassionate he was, if B was able to convince Lawliet to unchain him then I was going to be left with possibly a dead fiancé and escapee. I had to shake the thought from my head. I turned off the engine and took the keys out of the ignition. I looked at the boys who had all stopped yelling and arguing and looked at me with anticipation.

"I need you guys to say here"

I received moans and whines in response

"Look I know that you want to come with me, but you can't see what's in there. Your dad is in pretty bad shape and… you just can't see what else is in there"

"Is it that man from the tape, the one with the red eyes?" Near asked

"Yeah, and I can't let you boys be exposed to that. Complain and whine all you like but that's where I stand on this. Please just respect that. Ryuk is here he will look after you, if he wants a bag of apples he will do as I am telling him. I am just going to go in there, get L and then we will be out, I promise" I looked at each of them and smiled.

"Make sure nothing happens to them, do you understand"

I turned to Ryuk and gave him my serious gaze

"Yeah yeah whatever" He said

That was his way of saying yes, he would do anything for apples, so at least I had some leverage and I knew he was going to do what I had asked him. I picked Near up and got out of the car and sat him on the driver's side seat before closing the door and enabling the alarm system. If the doors were open at any time a shrill alarm would let me know and I would be able to get to them quickly.

I made my way to the front entrance. Once I was inside I ran to the room where they had been left. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that everything was as I left it. Lawliet had been sitting, crouched on the floor and B had his red gaze fixed on his brother.

"Law'?" I said

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the pen and paper

He stood up and put his arms around me.

"I am glad that you are alright, I was worried that something happened to you" I said to him

"I won't give up that easily Light" he replied and pressed his lips against me cheek

"Here" I said to him placing the pen and piece of torn Death Note into his hand

He took them gently and looked down at the two items and to B. He approached him and crouched down in front of him

"This is part of a Death Note; it is the only definite way to dispose of another human being or Shinigami. I had never even imagined that I would have to use this, for any purpose. I know what kind of destruction it causes but I believe it is the only way you can be at peace. I know that you have had a life that has been displeasing to you and I understand that everything has also been rather complex and exhausting for you. I have never wanted to see you die BB, I have never wanted to be the person to murder you but you need to die, you need death in order to be released from all the pain, hate me as you will, that does not concern me. I am sorry I have to do this but I really do not see any other option. I do not deserve your torture and neither does my family"

"WAIT!" a small voice came from the door

I looked to the voice and turned bright red with fury. Near was standing there with Mello, Matt and Ryuk. I wanted to kill that nuisance Shinigami, how hard was it to make sure they didn't get out of the car?, and why didn't I hear the alarm?

"I disabled the alarm" Matt replied smiling an accomplished grin

The boys had rushed to Lawliet and wrapped themselves around him, gripping him tightly. He still held onto the paper and the pen with both between his thumb and index finger

B Began to laugh hysterically, his laugh penetrating my very core, it was like hearing a thousand nails scrapping down a thousand black boards

"Hello there Shinigami, so nice to see you again"

I looked to Ryuk and then looked at B. His eyes, his eyes weren't even looking at Ryuk. I looked again switching my gaze between Ryuk and B and there was still no eye contact. B wasn't even trading glances with Ryuk; it was lower, more closer to him.

"Hello Near" he continued to say


	17. Chapter 17

"It's been a while hey kid?" B asked staring down at Near

How was this even possible? I knew from the moment Ryuk asked me if I was concerned about one of the boys that something was not right and B was confirming it. He had obviously at some point in Near's life met him, but when?

"I don't know you" Near whispered pulling himself closer to L's leg.

"Sure you do, it's been quite some time but you remember me, I am after all the one who created you"

B looked up Lawliet and then to myself, I had to be hearing things surely what B was saying was a lie, he couldn't have been Near's father, there was no way that it was possible. I was sure he was just saying what he was to get a rise out of us at least that was what I had hoped it was.

"What? don't look so shocked, hasn't it ever crossed your mind why he looks exactly like Lawliet? See all this time you have assumed that I am stupid, you have been thinking that I do not match intelligence to my brother but you see that's where you are completely wrong. I may not think as logically or as deductively as him but I am a master at one thing, DNA manipulation" He let out a laugh

"Ryuk? Is this true can you sense Shinigami DNA in Near?" I asked what was an invisible Shinigami to everyone else in the room except myself and Lawliet

"Light Yagami you have finally lost your mind at least I accomplished something, talking to nothing like a crazy person" B laughed hysterically again

"Well yes it is true if the small one with the dark eyes, is the one you call Near then yes he has Shinigami blood, I can even tell which Shinigami bloodline he comes from" Ryuk replied

Lawliet turned around to face Ryuk, who he could see because he had touched the paper from the Death Note

"Tell us" Lawliet said quickly and sharply

"Ha ha I don't think so, I don't give information for free or because I care if you want information I need something in return"

"What do you want?" I asked him

"I will give you the information if you agree to me killing you two years before your expected life span, which of course I cannot tell you when that is, those are my conditions you want to know about that kid, you will agree to it"

"There is nothing else I can do?" I asked

Ryuk shook his head, his wide smile becoming even wider in anticipation to my answer

"Fine" I replied

"Light! No what are you thinking? That's an unreasonable request" Lawliet barked at me

"Law' this is Nate's well being that is at stake here, if we know how he is connected to B then we can find a way to protect him from any evil Shinigami gene he may have. He is our son Law' we both deserve a right to know and so does he" I argued back, it had been the first time I had called Near by his real first name

"I don't want to know, I don't care who this stranger is and I don't care where I came from I just want to go home with my family. I want this to be over, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH" Near replied loudly

"This is so entertaining" both Ryuk and B had said at the same time, both following up with the telltale deep Shinigami laugh

"I can see either way you intend on killing me so I may as well leave you with this. Near is not my child, he is yours. Biologically speaking, which is rather a coincidence that he is your custody, that I never saw that coming" He looked straight to his brother

"Perhaps you remember some time ago, before I left Wammy house you had woken up to find me taking your blood?"

"I don't recall that" Lawliet replied

"Don't fucking interrupt me, Once I had become well aware on how to manipulate DNA I was able to take the DNA from a female, perhaps you remember a Samantha Dansk-Willard, she was one of the top scientists in Japan once upon a time and then suddenly died? Well turns out some mad man killed her after getting what he needed from her. After I had what I needed I simply found a woman who was pregnant, then I was able to manipulate the DNA of the child and nine months later, that kid was born. I dropped him off at Wammy house after I murdered the women, knowing that you would be there and I knew that you would be connected to him. He was nothing more than an experiment"

"STOP!" Lawliet yelled in his brother's face

I could see the anger and the hurt in his eyes. He started to write the name on the paper, Beyond Birthday, and placed it back into his pocket

"This ends now" Lawliet growled through clenched teeth

This had all felt like a dream, everything that was said it was like something out of a science fiction novel. Could have B really done that? Was it even possible that someone could be able to create a perfect human by a process of DNA manipulation? I didn't know if B was telling the truth about Near or it was some story that he made up, if Near and Lawliet couldn't remember what B was saying then surely it couldn't be true. I looked down at my watch; this was the longest forty seconds of our lives

"Go to hell Shinigami" Lawliet said quietly

B's eyes widened and he clenched his teeth, growls and screams escaping him as he furiously rocked in the chair trying to escape, tears poured down his face and he struggled. He paused and looked up to Lawliet and smiled evilly before his head dropped and he became lifeless. Lawliet pressed his fingers against his neck and checked for a pulse. He shook his head and removed his hand.

"What do we do with him?" I asked Lawliet

"Leave him here to rot, he deserves nothing better" he replied

We walked out of the room and out of the building to the car, we had piled in and started our journey back home.

"Tomorrow we are moving" Lawliet said

I nodded in agreement and started the engine.

X

The car ride back had been completely silent, nobody had even breathed loudly, it was a horrible silence. I don't think anyone knew what to say, everything that had happened would have been a lot that the boys had to process and Lawliet and I were still trying to come to terms with what was said

We arrived home and we had all got out of the car, each one of us sadly dragging our feet, hunched over and completely mentally worn out, I opened the front door and the kids walked in.

"Go get cleaned up boys, I will fix you something to eat" I said

They disappeared out of the room and into the bathroom

Lawliet walked to me and collapsed into my arms. I wrapped them tightly around him, holding him close to me. His whole entire body was trembling against me. I felt sudden wet patches form on my shirt.

"Hey, look at me" I said to him

He raised his head and looked into my eyes, tears had formed and were running freely down his painful face, stinging the cuts and abrasions he had suffered at the hands of B.

"Everything he said, what if it is true?, what if Nate is really just an experiment made from my DNA? I don't believe that it is possible but after everything, I don't know what I should believe anymore" He said softly, his bottom lips trembling

"Listen to me, Near is our son, he isn't an experiment and he isn't some abomination, he is our boy. We are his family; he has us and two brothers that love him very much. It doesn't matter anymore, we don't know if B was lying about him but in case he was telling the truth at least now we can try and make sure that we push so he doesn't turn out anything like B, I was willing to make the trade with Ryuk because I wanted to know how to protect Near, and the other boys. But now we know, we just have to make sure that we give him all the love a parent can give to their child and make sure he knows he, Mello and Matt mean everything to us, the only thing you need to believe now is that we are all a family, we will get through this together"

Lawliet rested his head against my chest.

"You need a shower and sleep Light, you are exhausted, I can make sure they are fed. Please you need to rest" Lawliet begged me

"Don't feed them cake" I said smiling

Lawliet looked up at me again and pressed his lips against mine. It was so soft and warm. It was like kissing Heaven. I did as he requested and made my way to the bathroom. I had a quick shower to wash away the sweat and blood, pulled on some clean clothes and collapsed into the bed.

X

It was daylight when I awoke, the warm sun filling up the room. I was completely alone in the bed and I could hear the boys laughing and enjoying themselves in the lounge room. I sat up only to be greeted by Ryuk

"What are you doing here?"

He laughed loudly and handed me something, a book with a black cover and some writing in the same Shinigami language that was on the Death Note Misa had.

"That is my note book, there is a time and a day written in it, all it needs is a name. Time's up Light Yagami" He laughed and pulled the book from my hands

"What!" I yelled at him

"We made a deal I got to kill you two years before your expected time of death, today is that day"

"Wait no! the deal was revoked, you didn't tell me anything" I begged him

"You said fine to the deal, there was nothing more specified that Shinigami human simply made my job easier for me. The deal was still in play. I am more than glad I get to do this Light, it's been great kid, you kept my entertained"

"Ryuk no please this is hardly fair"

"Fair? I am a Shinigami what do I care about what is fair and what isn't I came here only because you found that Death Note, I didn't come here to be your friend or condone anything you did. You used that Death Note as you did and now I will use mine as I will"

"Ryuk isn't there something I can do, something that I can say to change this. I have my life back, I have everything that I have ever wanted. There has to be something"

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and streaming down my cheeks

"Let me ask you something Light, did anyone you kill get a second chance?, did you take into consideration what they had? I guess you know now how they felt"

I watched as he wrote in his Death Note. My eyes widened and he disappeared. I tried to struggle to get out of bed to see Lawliet but I was completely paralyzed, I could feel my body going into complete shock, my throat was closing up, sweat had dripped down my face, my body trembled with fear.

"This..can't..be…it" I panted to myself

I grasped my chest with my palm, ripping at the shirt I had on. I wasn't sure what that was going to accomplish but I couldn't stop myself, I needed to somehow survive this. I could feel everything that had happened flashing inside my mind, everything from mine and L's fight, to kissing and making love to him the first time, to the kids coming to us and even the death of B. Everything that was significant was flashing by me

"LAW!" I yelled loudly. With as much strength I had in me

The door had swung opened and Lawliet came rushing in and raced to me, sitting on the bed and placing his hands on my cheeks and lifted my face to meet his.

"Light! Light? What's wrong, what is happening?" He panicked, his dark eyes penetrating my heart, he was so scared and so worried.

"My time is up" I whispered to him

I could see the pain spreading from his eyes to the rest of his face

"Light, no, come on this isn't funny!" He yelled at me

"I am so sorry L, I am so sorry I couldn't make the rest of this journey with you, I love you, I always have"

"Light! No! come one please don't do this to me, LIGHT!" He began to cry, his tears leaking from his eyes, rolling down his cheeks and dripping down onto me.

"It's been great sweetheart" I smiled at him

My heart stopped and I collapsed.


	18. Chapter 18

"Light? Hey Light? Can you hear me?"

I opened my eyes and focused at the blurred vision in front of me

"L?" I asked

"Yeah, I had no incline that I was going to hit you that hard, is everything OK, are you feeling nauseated at all?"

I sat up carefully and looked around me. There was no sign of the kids and task force had been behind Lawliet staring down at me too, even my father

"What's going on, where is the boys?, and what is my father doing here, he told me he didn't want to ever see me again?" I was completely confused

"Light? What are you talking about, which boys are you referring to and when did this conversation with your father take place?" He asked me

I slowly sat up and rubbed my head. I looked at Lawliet again he was completely unscathed, had everything that had happened only been a dream? Was I knocked unconscious and everything I saw was manifested in my mind? I gestured for Lawliet to lean into me, I placed my lips against his ear

"We aren't getting married are we, and Near, Mello and Matt don't live here either do they? And Watari is still alive?" I asked

He pulled away and looked at me concerned, his eyes completely struck with confusion.

"Well this is rather and interesting turn of events, I had not thought I had hit you hard enough in order for you to exhibit a change in time or in dimension" he said

He looked into my eyes, It had felt like it had been forever since I last stared into them

"Would you all mind giving Light and I a moment, I would like to discuss something with him privately, thank you" he asked kindly

The task force had nodded and left the room

"Light? Do you know who I am?" he asked me

"Yes, your L Lawliet"

He looked at me shocked

"Do you know anything of the Death Note?" he asked me

"Yes I burnt it, in the fire place so it couldn't be used again by anyone, but there was a small piece left over and you used that to kill your brother Beyond Birthday after he told us that Near is your son and you all have Shinigami blood" I replied

"Hmm interesting, Light what else do you remember?" he had asked me

I looked at him and frowned

"Everything I saw and everything that happened was only a dream wasn't it?" I asked him

"I am 100% confident that you had been dreaming while you were out, we had got into a physical altercation and I must have hit you hard enough in order for you to become unconscious"

"Then everything was a lie" I said sadly lowering my head

Even though it could have done without B and me being killed by the Shinigami I was happy, Lawliet and I were in love and we were family

"Lawliet? I know that you probably won't want to hear this and I don't blame you if you don't want to acknowledge it but I am in love with you, I have been for quite some time now. But if you love me at all then please do me one favor move away from here, you can't be here and you can't let Near, Mello and Matt stay at Wammy house, I know I sound like I have lost my mind but please believe me" I said to him

"..Light?"

"Please Lawliet don't stay here, something horrible will end up happening if you do, please trust me" I begged him

"Ok, I believe you but, Light?"

"Yes?"

"I love you too"

He pressed his lips against mine. We embraced in a passionate loving kiss, just like the first kiss that we had shared in my dream. I wasn't sure if everything was going to turn out like my dream, parts of it I hoped would and other parts I prayed wouldn't but at this moment I was once again kissing the man that I had even dreamed about being with. He was the one constant in my life and dream or not I knew he was the one I needed to be with for the rest of my life.

**Well there you have it. Firstly I want to apologize for such a short chapter but it was coming to an end and I wanted to leave this Fan Fiction on a good note not a sad one. I want to thank everyone who followed and Favorited this and those in future who do favourite , xx P.S A huge thank you for my stalker reviewer :P Chellyisback, your ongoing support meant heaps to me thank you**


	19. Chapter 19

Hi Everyone, sorry to disappoint I am sure you were all hoping this would be a new chapter for Love They Enemies but it's not ...I know please don't hate me

I wanted to add this because I have had a bunch of reviews and favorites that I didn't get to think once LTE's finished so I wanted to take the opportunity to thank every single one of you who Favorited or reviewed thank you so very much, you have no idea how much it means to me.

Also I wanted to take a moment to explain to you why I ended LTE's the way I did. I know that many of you were pissed off about the whole thing being a dream and firstly let me say how sorry I am if I disappointed you but I do have a reason for ending it the way I did and I suppose it will be alright to tell you now why I did so because I am currently in the process of writing a sequel and the way the first ended is detrimental to what is to come in the sequel so please don't hate me for it lol.

For those of you who follow or favourite or review in the future thank you so very much, really you guys have no idea how happy it makes me to see someone enojying my fan-fics, in case you haven't noticed I am not too popular so if you have any friends who love Death Note or even Bleach yaoiness please send them to my page I need the love lol

Anyway I suppose that is all, lots of love to you all K. Quinn xxxx


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